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You might be asking yourself, “is there any reason to go to tonight’s basketball game”:http://dailycal.org/sharticle.php?id=22734? Isn’t the Cal basketball team just going to get crushed by the Small Dickless Bears tonight? Didn’t Leon Powe leave for the NBA?
Well, a few people we’ve asked said they were going. The reason: to see fUCLA.
Atrocious. Yes, the Bears in all likelihood are going to lose. Yes Dickless Bears’ coach Ben Howland will be the better coach with the name Ben on the court tonight.
But we give you five reasons why Cal will *upset* fUCLA at Haas.
*5) Theo Robertson*
Kid’s on fire. Somehow, he always finds away to come up huge against good teams. Anyone remember that three-pointer he threw up last year to send the Dickless Bears into overtime and the Haas Pavilion crowd in a frenzy? Yeah, we do.
*4) Omar Wilkes and Ayinde Ubaka*
Okay, they’re really two reasons. But Wilkes is healthy and Ubaka just gave us a masterful performance against the Ducks last Saturday. Bring that against fUCLA, and Cal will be in business.
*3) Oh No! Where did Jordan go?!*
Jordan Farmar, last season’s Bears’ killer, is gone. Sure, he wasn’t flashy. Sure he was a pass-first point guard, but he killed Cal last year, especially in that overtime thriller.
*2) The Bears almost beat Oregon which beat the Baby Bears.*
For a half last Saturday, Cal outplayed a team that gave fUCLA it’s only loss. And here’s this, the Bears actually hung with the Ducks for the entire game.
*1) Luc Richard Mbah a Moute May Not Suit Up*
Hey Cal fans, cross your fingers and hope that the longest name is the history of Westwood sports doesn’t suit up tonight. The Bears bigs (or shall we say big, as in one, as in Ryan Anderson) have been playing well. It looks like Cal has figured out a way to rebound. Outrebound the ‘Ruins, have Anderson take advantage of the void left by Mbah a Moute and maybe, just maybe The Bench storms the court tonight.
There you go. Five reasons why the better Bears will win tonight. But hey, it’s still fuckin’ UCLA. *Dickless Bears win, albeit in a close one, 71-66.*
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