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With Cake and Cunnilingus Day (NSFW) coming up tomorrow, we at the Clog are pumped. We’ve got some sticky buns in the oven and some sexy to be had. Can you smell what we’re cooking?
Today’s an extra-sweet rendition of Casual Fridays, in which we sum up the creme de la creme of Craigslist’s casual encounters. This is more than your typical after school milk and cookies.
Looks like Captain Cunnilingus (we’re not making this up) is the hero for your tomorrow. He claims he’s a “sexy white guy with curly ass hair” who’s ready to stay in for dessert. Quite frankly, we prefer guys with no ass hair, but as long as it’s not a fro we (and you) might as well give it a go. He wants to “eat6 sum fuckin pussy.” We hope “eat6″ is as hot as it sounds.
But maybe your day doesn’t need cunnilingus. Maybe you need a spoon to eat your cake (hey, it could be ice cream cake). Meet your new cuddle buddy. You may not both be able to fit in your dorm twin bed, but at least you’ll be warm and snug. Aww, we’re getting warm fuzzies already. Plus, he’s “open to more then [sic] just cuddling” so, know you, it’s totally cool if you want the cunnilingus after all. Or if you just want to skip that shit and bone. Totally up to you. For sure.
Let’s not bag on the Craigslist guys though. They are all sweet at heart and just want a little love. They want to share the love and give some love. One is searching for a girl who “is up for whatever.” Apparently “whatever” translates to letting him “blow [his] load in her ass.” That’s so romantic. Are you feeling the warm fuzzies yet?
Even ASUC hopefuls are joining the lovefest. Ben Narodick, Student Advocate and senatorial candidate, sent us an email today with a personal ad to share with the rest of the student body–except the ad wasn’t for him.
The ad, for SQUELCH! candidate Andy Morris, is titled “You’re gunna have to trust me… to love you (m4w)”. It reads:
Six time K1 Fighting Champion and champion steel guitar player seeks same for experiment in time travel. Must be between the height of 5′6″-5′9″, head optional. In exchange for your undying love and affection I promise to not play sexual tetherball with my twig and berries when your mom is around. Complete lack of dental records a major plus.
There’s no mention of cunnilingus or cake, but we’re sure that can be arranged. Happy munching.
Casual Encounters [Craigslist Personals]
Earlier: Casual Fridays: You’re in Luck if You’re Queer and Like Asians
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