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Giant Gay British ex-NBA Center Mesmerizes Audience With Brit Wit

Posted By Ethan Strauss On Apr 26, 2007 @ 3:02 am In News,Sports | Comments Disabled

We previewed it Monday, and now a recap is in order. Here are the highlights and commentary on the amazing John Amaechi talk

  • If it weren’t for his British accent and his drinking a large cup of tea, we’d be scared shitless of Amaechi. He’s fucking huge.
  • The lecture begins with a video on LGBT athletes and their double lives. Interesting stuff, but it can’t hold a candle to the entertainment value of the IBM promo that follows it. Did you know that IBM is the most gay-friendly multinational computer technology company? We didn’t.
  • Damn, J.A. moves around a hell-load for a 6-10, 325-pound dude. We tried taking a good picture of the man, but he’s just too damned peripatetic.
  • J.A. is blessed with that stereotypical British speaking ability. We as Americans are obligated to worship Brit elocution skills. For example, the Clog didn’t even want to use the word elocution in that sentence. Some lord-of-the-lexicon limey convinced us that it was better than inventing the word talkability or calling him a cunning linguist.
  • He has interesting thoughts on the incongruence of being a gay pro athlete, but has no comments on the incongruence of being an athlete who uses the words like incongruence.
  • That’s actually bullshit. Amaechi does talk about the incongruence of being a well-spoken athlete. We’ll put our snide aside for one second just to say that Amaechi is a hilarious, yet thought-provoking speaker.
  • He states the obvious, saying, “Tim Hardaway is an idiot.” That one gets a huge crowd response. We are now all united in our hatred of the T in Run TMC.
  • Just like we sort of said in our preview, Amaechi makes the point that athletes can’t handle his gayness because “they don’t want their own gay activities highlighted.” Hell yea, Amaechi agrees with the Clog. We must be doing something right.
  • By the way, J.A. dishes some interesting gayish NBA locker room activities. The best ones are toenail painting and co-reading magazines naked, or “ass-cheek-to-ass-cheek” as Amaechi calls it. For once, we’re speechless.
  • And we’ve regained our voice. But we’re exhausted. Amaechi held court for over two hours, pontificating on everything from Don’t ask, don’t tell to macho advertisements. The dude clearly loves the academic setting. Here’s to hoping he becomes Berkeley’s most physically imposing prof.
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