All is amazing in the land of hyphy. Fourteen miles down the road from campus (we need make a clear connection in our formula of proximity + topicality), the Oaktown Warriors kicked some overdog ass Sunday night.
Somehow, someway, that loveable band of misfits took another game from the Goliath Mavericks. The boys playing for the blue-collar town are now up 3-1 in the series and well on their way to pulling off the most incredible upset in Clog memory. Damn, are we living in a corny sports movie? Eh, fuck it, who cares? Let the joyous thizz dancing begin.
The TNT camera shots of mean-mugging, dumb-dancing, shout-out-giving, stunner-shade-wearing, Oakland peeps had the Clog laughing our cabalistic asses off. We were also entertained when Charles Barkley risked his life by saying “Oakland sucks,” in front of millions of television viewers. It was a very fun evening all-around.
The momentous occasion came on the heels of a very bad omen. You may have heard about the wee Caltrans problem that happened Sunday morning. The collapse of the bridge entrance had sportswriters everywhere drooling over the easy pickins’ metaphor:
“On a day when the Bay Bridge entrance collapsed, so too did the Warriors…”
But somehow, unlike the green steel bolts of the I-80 overpass, those pesky Oakland players managed not to melt and fall apart onto a major thoroughfare like a bad, traffic-inducing analogy.
Thankfully, Black Thought from the Roots a.k.a Baron Davis was there to save the day. He’s now the most popular Yay Area figure since Mac Dre. If he succeeds in dragging the Warriors to a championship we might just go dumb. Check that—we might put our stunner shades on and go really stupid-triple-doo-doo-dumb.
And the bandwagon trendiness we warned you about has sportswear companies going really fucking dumb. We asked Ali, a worker for Telegraph’s UC Sporting and Luggage, to assess the current Warriors fever.
“It’s cool, a lot of people are asking about the Warriors stuff. A lot of people are getting on the bandwagon lately. No one really cared before, but after yesterday (Sunday), wow. People are all like, ‘Go Warriors cuz!’”
Go Warriors cuz, indeed.