It’s been a while since we’ve done Casual Fridays, so maybe it’s time to start slowly. We heard that there was a co-op based casual encounters group on the ‘book, and sure enough, there it was, 73 members full.Under its description:bq. While I might be tempted to walk into a stranger’s house and urinate on him while he’s tied up and blindfolded, I thought it’d be a good idea if the co-ops started our own casual encounters instead of relying on craigslist.com. so here we go!So we’re encouraging more water sports in the co-ops? Is that the point of the group?Although one Facebooker brings up a valid argument:bq. I mean if you actually have trouble hooking up at a co-op party….I don’t really know what to tell you.See, the thing about hooking up at co-op parties is that you have to be willing to hook-up with co-opiest of co-opers. After that’s been settled, then yes, it is relatively easy.That’s the beauty of drawstring pants and prairie skirts. And, obviously, the lingerie/no pants/underwear/naked parties.Casual Encounters in the Co-ops [Facebook]Earlier: Casual Fridays: You Need a Job to Be Casual
Look, we don’t want to get into that game from last year. It hurt too much. But, for those of you new to Cal football…When the Bears opened against the Vols in 2006, it was an unmitigated disaster. The Tennessee guys ripped us to the tune of a 35 point lead through the third quarter. Many Cal students had dreams of a championship. After that game? Ummm, not so much.So after an unbearable break from the great American sport, we face the same very orange team on opening day. Thankfully, this shot at sweet redemption is at home. Here’s what to look for.
- The Clog sobbing uncontrollably if DeSean Jackson gets injured.
- No damned parking. Anywhere.
- The Bears owning, thanks to a key difference from last year’s debacle. The underrated change is simply that we won’t have to face the brain-cramping onslaught of neon orange. This is by far the most important aspect of home field advantage against these Vols. The sight of a puke-inducing, sea of highlighter fluid-colored shirts is enough to make even the best teams screw up. It’s unfair. You’re trying to win a football game, and your brain thinks you’ve been transported to the 1970s from hell. The NCAA should make this tactic illegal.
- Look, we don’t know about Longshore. He was inconsistent last year, and often faltered when it mattered most. But ESPN.com tells us that the pirate-named dude has improved massively. According to them, he’s an elite college quarterback. ESPN can never be wrong, so look for Nato to put up 300 yards.
The finally analysis is this: The Bears have the best player (The blur of light known as DeSean) and the better team. Last year was brutal, but we shouldn’t expect a repeat. The Vols don’t have WRs and their QB is a gimp. The Clog boldly predicts a glorious trouncing.Prediction: Bears 34, Vols 14.
Everyone’s favorite Treewok Village has a new addition: a chain-link fence the university ordered erected during the wee hours of this Wednesday morning.We were still asleep, and we’re sure the Save the Oaks people were, too, until construction crews started pounding in the fence posts. And we’d be pretty cranky, too, if someone woke us up that early and we hadn’t showered in nine months.As if the rubberneckers didn’t do enough to showcase the zoo animal performance art piece, the fence better defines what can only be described by us snarky individuals as the Nuclear-Free-Vegan-Save-the-Trees Zone. The zone is also free of supplies like, say, food, but as the Daily Cal reports, Zachary Running Wolf proposes a hunger strike, which seems like a pretty convenient solution to the supply-free problem.But the ever-so-timely construction (typical; it only took them a year) could prove to be more ominous, given that fences historically just delay the inevitable “peaceful” confrontation.Image Source: Skyler Reid, Daily CalBREAKING: POLICE ERECT FENCE AROUND UC BERKELEY TREE-SIT PROTEST [Daily Cal]
You should have. According to the United States Geological Survey, a magnitude 3.0 quake hit just after 4 pm today. So you all can go ahead and tell your grandchildren years from now that you were there for the Great Quake of 07. Not a bad accomplishment for the second day of class, huh?If you’re interested, you can ogle a map of the quake. And there’s all kinds of cool, scientific-type data over here. If you happen to be an unquenchable paranoiac, and who here isn’t, campus provides info on disaster preparation. As always, in times of crisis, the Clog recommends a fifth of whiskey. That always seems to work for us.Magnitude 3.0 – SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA, CALIFORNIA [USGS]
As barely legal freshmen/doe-eyed transfers begin their classes, we figure many are wondering how to get by with a little help from those who are at least a year’s worth of tuition poorer. So allow this meaningless credibility to strongly influence your first semester’s experiences with these new-to-campus tips:* Do NOT ride the 51 bus line between Dana Street and Dwight Way. This covers two important points—avoid our dirty looks, and exercise your otherwise latent quads. By the end of the semester, you (or your love interests) will thank us for keeping up with Foothill residents’ thus far incomparably tight thighs.* Procrastinate! We’re probably the only ones who will ever tell you this, but since it’s inevitable that you will procrastinate writing/studying for at least one critical midterm, we recommend honing this enviable skill.* Don’t eat in class! We attend a public school with notoriously low-paid custodial staff. We don’t want to pick up your trash, and we especially don’t want to smell you crunch away on your Corn Nuts.* Stop stressing! As the handy flier from the toilet stall of Davidson Hall’s 6th floor told us long ago, stress can cause a number of physical ailments that can bring you and your precious GPA down.* We implore you to shower frequently and pick up your damn hair from the drain. Your RA will likely grate you about this later, but for the benefit of the floormates you’ll grow to hate for other reasons, just do it.Last but not least, seek out opportunities. There are a veritable ton of things to do on campus and in Berkeley for cheap or free:* Cal Performances offers 50% ticket discounts to all UCB students* The Department of Theater, Dance, and Performance Studies produces shows with ticket prices from $8 to free* Award-winning a cappella groups sing for free at Sather Gate* There’s free swing dancing (plus lessons!) on Sproul Plaza* Free Tree People-gawking near Memorial StadiumAnd don’t forget the innumerable chances to piss off our biggest fans—Berkeley residents—by just doing what you do: Exist.Image Source: Julie Himes, Daily Cal
This week in police log is all about vandalism. Vandalism on the walls, vandalism in the buildings and vandalism against common sense. We also have plenty of Cal spirit, with guest appearances from the Band and from the ASUC Senate (we think). Thursday, August 23, 2007 2:28 a.m., ASUC: Vandalism via window break and public intoxication.Vandalism and drinking. To make it interesting, we really hope it was the incoming ASUC President Van Nguyen. There’s some history to be upheld here.12:23 a.m., Lower Sproul Plaza: Female student refused to show ID.Well, at least she wasn’t caught without ID in the UCLA library.Wednesday, August 22, 2007 11:45 a.m., New Underhill Parking Lot: Vandalism via multi-colored spray paint, various locations, PPCS notified. Under investigation.Look, spontaneous artwork of the urban underclass ought to be celebrated a resistance to the system. Unless it sucks, then paint that shit over quick.3:20 p.m., Strawberry Creek/Eucalyptus Grove: Two men, loitering in bushes.It boggles the mind to think about what these two upstanding citizens were doing in those bushes. The Clog will assume that they were playing with Magic cards until we learn otherwise.Tuesday, August 21, 2007 12:23 p.m., Vine/Scenic: Suspicious circumstance regarding graffiti.Should have used the Facebook graffiti maker.Monday, August 20, 2007 3:40 p.m., Dwinelle Annex: Man given civil advice regarding a disturbance caused by Cal Band.In a Clog exclusive, we have learned exactly what that civil advice was: Shout “Cal Band Great” after they finish playing. There can be no other advice.12:11 p.m., 2360 Telegraph Avenue: Outside assist with the arrest of man for petty theft and possession of counterfeit money. To BPD Jail.The street people may want to look into this. Instead of asking for money, seize the initiative and make your own.Sunday, August 19, 2007 4:01 p.m: 15-year-old woman given civil advice regarding a confusing text message.Here’s our handy guide for future confusion:U= YouR= ArePWN= P to the ownedLol= Laughing out loudROLFMAO= Rolling on the floor laughing my ass offBBQ= BarbequeWTF= What the fuckIMHO= In my humble opinionFTW= For the winZomg= Z Oh my GodTBIOOTF, TBIOOTF= The Band is out on the field, The Band is out on the fieldn00b= Don’t even askPoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.Earlier: PoLo: A Little Disturbed.
First, we’d like to premise this by saying that we do not condone binge drinking (at least binge drinking often) or underage drinking. Second, if you don’t like alcohol (you’re not seeing the light), you can always try this with juice, soda—hell, even water.School starts tomorrow and if you’re like any of us here at The Daily Clog, we like to observe the happenings and goings-on around the campus for the first couple of weeks. (Don’t forget to sign up to win a messenger bag, You’ll be the coolest kid in school other than D-Jax).So we’re going to take everything we love (and hate) about the start of school and make into our very own drinking game. And we know that alcohol isn’t allowed on campus. You’re college kids. You’re innovative. Think of something (there’s always juice … of the jungle variety).On with the game …12) Someone invites you to their BBQ, rush event, poker night, video game night, etc. etc. etc.—drink.11) You see someone flyering on Sproul Plaza, Lower Sproul Plaza, WTF, anywhere on campus—drink once.10) You see someone actually taking one of those flyers—drink once. If you think that person is a freshman, drink twice.9) You see someone flyering against flyering. Give that person your drink—they deserve it.8) You see Beetle at the Berkeley College Republicans table on Sproul Plaza—take HIS drink.7) You see a protest on campus—drink as many times as there are people at the protest. This may sound like a lot, but it ain’t the 1960s especially-in-terms-of-money, so this will not kill you.6) You see a Treewok—drink twice, one for the Treewok and one for the tree that said Treewok is trying to save. If you don’t know what the Treewoks are, just type Oakgate into our nice little search feature 5) For every time you see a freshman lost in Dwinelle Hall, drink once.4) If you are one of Ilana Nankin’s Facebook friends, buy her a drink and then pay for her ambulance. She’s going to need it ’cause that’s a lot of friends.3) You see a homeless person—drink and then give that guy some of your drink and then give him that quarter in your pocket that you were saving for your laundry.2) You see a relatively hot person—finish your drink. It doesn’t happen often here.1) If you’re a freshman, finish your (non-alcoholic) drink. All of it—now! You’re the one who wanted to go to college!
Above, Wilco serenaded the not-quite-high-as-Portland crowd with “A Shot in the Arm.” Daily Cal arts writers were also present, so be sure to check out the review on Monday.
Voila, Wilco’s “Hummingbird,” complete with a little jog and boogie number. OK, it’s not much, but if it makes you crack a smile, who are we to judge?