This week of police logs is full of weird stuff going on. OK, it’s always full of weird stuff going on. What we mean is we’ve got suspicion, mischief and annoyance in the real world, the online world and the, um, phone world. They’re coming at us from all sides! Believe us, we don’t make the crazy up. Unfortunately, it’s all natural.

Thursday, August 16, 2007
4:04 p.m., Lower Hearst Structure: Malicious pull of a fire alarm. Under investigation.

Fire alarms and alarms in general dot the police logs all the time, but we’re intrigued by this “malicious” pulling. We imagine some no-good punk chuckling and impishly grinning while in the act. Damn you, meddling kids!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007
8:00 p.m., Upper Sproul Plaza: An officer talks to two males, 17 and 18, about causing a disturbance.

Did they talk to those drummers? Let’s start there first, shall we? We can hear them all the way up in Eshleman at our cozy, no-computer desk in the absolute farthest corner of the office. Now those people are disturbing our ability to work. Work at avoiding everyone in the office.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007
10:28 .a.m., HBS: Woman given civil advice regarding a suspicious essay written by a student.

Suspicious, as in “say, I think I’ve seen this before”? Or something like a creative fiction that mimics a lot of shoot ‘em up films? The first will get an F. The latter will get a Hollywood movie deal.

Oh, and we don’t know what “HBS” is. It could be someone trying to type “BHS”–High School. But that would make too much sense. We prefer the enigma.

Monday, August 13, 2007
9:40 a.m., Hildebrand Hall: A man, 71, reports receiving a suspicious e-mail.

Yeah, we get those too. “Make your fat friends envy you!” Or, “hello, madam, I am from Africa and I need you to retrieve $3 billion for me, and oh, you can actually keep it for yourself.” You know, it could also be that kid’s essay.

1:26 p.m., Barker Hall: A man, 28, reports receiving annoying phone calls.

Heavy breathers? We get that, but in e-mail form. Plus there’s Cialis, Viagra, what have you–and we don’t even have a penis! Our condolences.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: Yo Ho, Just Trying to Have Some Fun


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