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While ASUC candidates gear up to stuff as many flyers in your hands as possible next month, it might behoove you to discover what sort of defenses Facebook can offer you. Yes, Facebook. You’ll see what we mean.
We’re an equal opportunity offender (emphasis on “offender”), so let’s start off with a group against both the major parties of ASUC.
* I heard that SA and CS hold satanic orgies fully catered by Rachael Ray: We hear each orgy is prepared and savored in just 30 minutes. Plus, the EVOO doubles as a free-for-all lubrication.
Hate partisan politics? Just hate politics?
* oh, you’re running for ASUC Senate? blow me.: Forget campaign promises–let’s see the job get done, wink wink nudge nudge.
Or if you’re just simply politically incorrect and CalSUCK doesn’t quite do it for you, there’s …
* I heard someone in the SA slate killed a transgendered hooker last year.: Confirm/deny?
You could also make it slightly more personal (while simultaneously uniting under typographical errors).
* ASUC people are gigantic, gigantic tools (and not hte good kind): Though we’re sure this does not rule out possibilities of screw-ups and getting nailed on Beetle Beat.
* When ASUC elections come around, I’ll be voting for you to get dismembered: We don’t think the weird numbering system includes this option, but perhaps it can be pushed into a referendum next year alongside yet another fee hike.
As for actual strategies during the weeks following spring break, there’s always the standard.
* People Who Don’t Speak English During asuc Campaigning Week: You can also pretend to be an out-of-towner or become sporadically and instantaneously deaf/blind. Sometimes a cell phone, iPod and sunglasses just don’t cut it.
But in all fairness, we’re being a little harsh here. Rock the vote! Make your voice heard. Only you can prevent forest fires. Support your student government. Show some love–and make it all the more confusing–by joining our final group.
* Addicted to ASUC: C’mon, take pity. It only has one member.
“Lightening Up” is a Clog special devoted to link-stacking … er … finding Facebook groups of interest. And by interest, we mean anything that seems amusing to us at the time. Since there are millions upon millions of Facebook groups which surely must amuse someone, this special will NEVER DIE.
Earlier: While We Procrastinate, Zuckerberg Caves
Comments:
Apr 1, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Best post ever!