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We were all bright-eyed youngsters just a year or two or even three ago. Overloaded with AP courses, necking tentatively under the bleachers, assaulted by the first tender flush of young adulthood while agonizing over the wheres, whens, and hows of the next four years…. It’s too bad that Radar Magazine’s feature on the worst colleges ever in America wasn’t there to hold our solemn hands and lead us to the promised land. Or steer us clear of Berkeley. Oh snap!
Just kidding, dudes. We love Cal and so can you, if only because Lothlorien’s legendary food orgy par-tay ranked up there with that one school’s annual spit-swapping bonanza and UC Santa Cruz’s furious attempts at ingesting enough weed to envelop a small hillside in pot fumes.
Radar’s thundering denunciation of the worst college in America follows under the jump.
The grand prize goes to the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut, which gets docked a gazillion brownie points for being nestled on “a husk of yellowing grass in the middle of a blighted urban war zone”. This, in a city where the violent crime rate is 60 percent above the national average. Did we mention the shady administration and the repressive, ghetto atmosphere? Plus, frolicking at the beach front makes people puke.
Other winners come in categories like Most Superficial, Ugliest Campus, Most Stoned Student Body, Most Overrated, and Most Closeted. The U.S. Naval Academy scores second in that last category. Three guesses as to which one USC wins and the first two don’t count.
Notable features, handily listed for you here, follow:
- a ranking of the dumbest college courses
- the worst named schools
- a gallery of humiliating mascots (note the strategic linking).
And — this last one’s precious — America’s worst college professor. Ever.
Meet Michael Todd, professor of abnormal psychology at Arizona’s Paradise Valley Community College.
The 51-year-old had a history of trysts with undergraduates—before one of his female students overdosed on cocaine at his house.
The 19-year-old had reportedly consumed as many as 17 beers while Todd was there. Professor Todd refused to identify his comatose student to the paramedics who took her to the hospital, where she died.
Edit: The Clog’s just uncovered the true blue identity of the party feature’s writer, Connie Wang, who just so happens to be a Berkeley student herself. Connie was a prominent fixture at Cal’s very own Bare Magazine, whose launch party we attended just two weeks ago. Dude, that’s so cosmic.
Image Source: goat5 under Creative Commons
Our annual semiscientific guide to the worst colleges in America [Radar Magazine]
Tags:BARE Magazine, colleges, Connie Wang, listmania, Radar Magazine
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Oct 15, 2008 at 7:34 am
Why this web site do not have other languages support?