The Clog smelled new blood at the Daily Cal — OK, given the context of this post, that’s a distasteful metaphor. We digress. Kristine deGuzman, the Daily Cal’s new anything-sex-related correspondent, made her first appearance in today’s issue. We just couldn’t wait to jump on her with our burning questions.

April Isabel Angeles: Did you have one gigantic, climactic epitome that led you to apply for this – shall we say – position?
Kristine deGuzman: I wouldn’t say it was one gigantic climax, it was more like a gradual, yet pleasurable build-up…you know, as most female G-spot orgasms are.

AIA: Speaking of which, what is your favorite position? Feel free to interpret this question as it pleases you.
KD: Hmm, good question. I like being on top, on bottom, and sometimes bent over. Feel free to interpret this answer as it pleases you.

AIA: Do you have a target audience in mind when you write your columns?
KD: Yeah, I normally write for people who either have sex, would like to have sex, will eventually have sex, are thinking about having sex, or who just think about sex.

AIA: How do you feel about sharing all your tips and tricks to readers?
KD: It gets me off.

AIA: How sexy is Wikipedia, I mean, really?
KD: I normally find porn more sexy, but I can see how Wikipedia’s clean interface and easy to use search engine might be arousing to some people.

AIA: Do you have any press rights to the Britney Spears sex tape?
KD: If I did, I wouldn’t be doing this interview, because I would either be too busy a) selling it or b) watching it. But for Britney’s sake (and mental health), I hope her ex-loser-paparazzo-boyfriend is just trying to buy himself a few more minutes of fame.

AIA: In your professional opinion, was Justin successful in bringing sexy back? Or does he just have a sexy back?
KD: In my professional opinion, eh? I’d have to say that he just has a sexy back, because Brad Pitt’s abs were still hanging around long before Justin allegedly brought “sexy” back.

AIA: Do you think Oski reads the Sex on Tuesday column?
KD: Well, I would hope so. And I hope he does so bare (ha ha, awful pun, I know, I know).

AIA: In how many languages can you say ‘sex’?
KD: As of five seconds ago, three: Sex, Le sexe, and el sexo.

Thanks for the interview, Kristine. By the way, your “dirty talk” podcast is such a tease.

Sex on Tuesday: Talk the Talk (In Bed) [Daily Cal]



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