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After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.
And in one fell swoop, a would-be criminal singlehandedly brought dishonor upon the once-revered name of ninja. For shame, sir! For shame.
The culprit struck first at a Massachusetts convenience store, where his mask and sheathed sword instantly aroused the clerk’s concern, causing her to call the police. Our antihero then REMOVED HIS MASK, inquired as to whether the clerk was phoning in regards to his presence and, receiving an affirmative, bounced to a dry cleaner’s instead.
Upon entering, he brandished his sword at the cashier and demanded she fork over the money in the register. When she told him that she was unable to open said register, he left in abject disgrace, fading forever into the sands of time and infamy.
To this man, we would like to express our wholehearted disappointment. What kind of world are we living in when a ninja can’t even pull off a straightforward heist? We’d commission Jackie Chan to instruct him in the error of his ways, if the poor guy wasn’t up to his ears in international backlash following a boo-boo of his own.
Le sigh.
Image Source: Swiss Bones under Creative Commons
Rubbish, sword-wielding ninja fails to rob dry cleaner [Metro.co.uk]
Earlier: Colbert Frees Jews
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