Freshmen, gather ’round. Let the Clog tell you a story:
Once upon a time (like, uh, last year) in a kingdom called Cal Dining, they had delicious, delicious, artery-clogging chicken strips. It was a golden age for said kingdom, and the morsels of ostensibly real, white-meat chicken were coated in the crispiest of deep fried, lightly spiced outer coating stuff. They were awesome and they made the meal points that campus housing-dwellers were required to purchase worth having. (Warning: This post is perhaps unnecessarily long.)
And let us tell you, after a dissatisfying “healthy” meal from Crossroads on a Thursday night, there was no relief like the knowledge that these godly snacks awaited a ravenous party-goer at Late Night.
Then, a terrible thing happened. The actually palatable chicken strips started to be replaced by evil, disgusting, flat, floppy, soggy travesties. For a time, these false icons (which were clearly “chicken part”-composed, “nuggets” and not real meat “strips”) masqueraded as their much tastier predecessors.
The denizens of Cal Dining searched high and low, peeking hopefully over the counter at the Golden Bear Cafe and eyeing plates at Crossroads, looking for their lost wellspring of nourishment. But alas, it was to no avail. Devious forces were at work.
The switch, it seemed, was the work of a villain named “Budget Cuts”–despite that Cal Dining is not actually a part of the university and students still have to purchase meal points, so there was really no reason that food quality should have declined if they were paying the same amount.
Thus, the golden age of Cal Dining came to a bleak end. But today–oh, sweet, sweet today–a long semester and a half later, a light appeared at the tunnel. The Golden Bear Cafe was, much to our surprise and delight, had returned to doling out the beloved chicken strips of yore.
Now, we daren’t get our hopes up too much, lest we be disappointed again, but we can’t help but allow ourselves the faint glimmer of possibility that they’re back to stay. And freshmen, heed this advice, though you haven’t felt our keen heartache: Gather ye chicken strips while ye may.
Image Source: whatnot under Creative Commons