Yup, he’s back! Or maybe we just haven’t been paying attention. Either way, we couldn’t be happier since he’s one of our favorite Berkeley … uh, eccentrics? Honestly, we missed hearing his cries of “Yahweh!” all throughout the campus. It just kinda made us feel at home. And his warnings to find a savior or else a post-apocalyptic hellscape awaited us always made us feel cared for.
We thought when that whole May 21 Judgment Day thing didn’t work out very well for him, he might’ve been too embarrassed to be seen around Sproul Plaza again. But he’s back and he’s even got the new Judgment Day countdown!
Since we were so happy to see him back, we decided to say hi and ask him what happened to all that fiery death that was supposed to rain down upon us on May 21. We also wanted to ask about his new countdown because we’re a little worried that he’s carrying out the not-so-proud American tradition of doing the same thing and hoping that something different happens (see our video of the week).
During our chat, he gave us the whole scoop on what the scripture says and how it’s all gonna go down. He told us that May 21 was the beginning of a five-month judgment period that will end on October 21 in “fifteen minutes of flame” — unless you are of the lucky 200 million predestined to ascend to heaven and skip the fires.
Thus, the new countdown (and the world) ends on October 21 at 6 p.m., which is apparently the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles. BTW, ‘tabernacle’ just became our new favorite word.
When we asked what all the heretics out there could do to escape the fire, Yoshua warmly explained that it’s simply too late for those who did not have a savior by May 21. Thus the sign is not a call for repentance; rather, it’s just a friendly reminder that the world is going up in flames this fall. Gosh … what a swell guy!
Considering the spiritual judgment deadline seemed to be back in May — whether or not that judgment was in your favor — it seems as though we’re now free to do whatever we want until October. We here at the Clog firmly believe in no takesies-backsies (even for you, God), so let the debauchery begin!
Tags:apocalypse, Judgment Day, May 21 Judgment Day, Sproul Plaza, We Spy, Yoshua
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