We hear that it’s possible to massage someone into an orgasm. Apparently that’s not the only way to get one at Berkeley massage centers.
The Daily Cal reports, “Three Berkeley massage parlors may be closed for good after city officials ruled that explicit online reviews support allegations of prostitution.
Crystal Massage on Shattuck Avenue, as well as Acupressure Health Center and Berkeley Alouette — both located on University Avenue — were served with cease and desist notices in April, and use permits for all three were revoked during a Zoning Adjustments Board hearing. Crystal Massage later signed a consent form and voluntarily gave up its permit with 120 days to vacate.”
Yeesh Berkeley, keep it together here. Don’t you know that the Internet ruins lives and reveals all of your deepest and darkest secrets and has caused all 2040 presidential candidates to be unviable?
Now we’re just gonna be suspicious of everything. Hmm, like that shady owner of the Bright Morning Star Daycare on Matthews Street! Oh wait … what? Her license is being is being revoked for misdemeanor convictions of carrying a concealed weapon and DUI-ing?
Moral of the story: if you plan on running a prostitution business out of your Chinese take-out restaurant, make sure all your customers don’t know how to Internet. And if you wanna run a day care center, try to keep that “mommy soda” and rifle of yours out of the way when children are nearby.
Or better yet: just don’t do it.
Image source: o5com under Creative Commons