For the vast majority of sports teams, there’s always a definitive point in the season at which their fans allow their thoughts to stray toward the possibility of “next year.” Yes, for the disgruntled sports fan, irritated and beleaguered by supporting perennial bottom-feeders and cellar-dwellers, avoiding the agony of the present by having a “wish list” for their team is indeed a guilty pleasure. Considering that most UC Berkeley students say “Tedford” while cursing under their breath, it’s fairly safe to say that the 2012 sports season is far behind us.
Signing day is a big time not only for the athletes who are committing to their future alma maters but also for the fans who pine for the biggest names to come to their favorite teams. It represents the potential for future success and the cultivation of championship aspirations all rolled into the squiggly ink that makes up the signature on the contract. Seeing as how Bay Area sports have flourished – the Giants with the Series title, the Niners with a Super Bowl bid, and both the Sharks and Warriors pleasant surprises in the Pacific Division, it’s about time that Berkeley was brought up to par.
Despite all the internally generated hype about the athletes that will be joining call – conveniently ignoring the lack of a Top 50 football recruit and the Marcus Lee disaster that broke up a potentially contending basketball squad – we’ve developed our own list of athletes and other athletic-type people that should grace the courts of Cal if our wishes were to come true.
1) Aaron Rodgers
Ever since this legendary quarterback left for the Cheeseheads, we’ve had to endure the likes of Longshore, Ayoob and Levy – all in one season! Given the relative ineptitude of Maynard this past, it’d be wonderful to have some form of competence in the most important position in the game. Who better than a Super Bowl champion to bring Cal some more bowl seasons?
For all of you who don’t know who Titus is, take a moment to bow your head in shame and deference. Check out this video to get to know the little guy. Despite his apparent youth, he’s already reached the social status that accompanies single-name celebrities – a la Cher and Madonna. Given that he studies hard for a decade straight and manages to skip a couple of grades, we’ll be looking at the Final Four in 2028!
3) Emma Watson
The English star, notwithstanding all questionable haircuts, would make a perfect addition to the Cal community. The occasionally sunny skies would certainly be a nice contrast to the years of gloom and rain she lived through in Oxford and on the East Coast at Brown. And even though it was the one sport she wasn’t too good at, she could give our eighth-ranked Quidditch team a few extra pointers to help them prepare for the World Cup.
4) Michael Oher
This guy knows how to get it done. For those of you who don’t remember, he was the “true story” that inspired the award-winning film The Blind Side, that showed a rags-to-riches story of an inherently talented football player. He now has a ring as a member of the Ravens, much to the chagrin of all San Francisco fans. However, despite his enemy status, he’s proven to have things we need – good acting and football talent. Sandra Bullock can attest to that.
5) Missy Franklin
Who better to join our ranks than someone who’s the perfect age for collegiate athletics – sorry, Titus – a proven winner and a nationally heralded recruit that would make waves for Cal’s recruiting program? Oh wait … we already signed her months ago?
Follow Uday on Twitter at @mehtakid
Image source: Juli under Creative Commons
Tags:Aaron Rodgers, Baltimore Ravens, Emma Watson, Final Four, Forty Niners, Giants, Golden State Warriors, Jeff Tedford, Madonna, Marcus Lee, Michael Oher, Missy Franklin, Oxford, Pacific Division, Quidditch, San Jose Sharks, Sandra Bullock, superbowl, The Blind Side, Titus, world series
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