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The AnonCon is totally awesome. That’s why we were so sad when it didn’t start as quickly this spring.
But now’s it’s up and running (finally) and we just couldn’t wait to see all the sexy things happening in these confessions. Truly, the Anoncon is a way to bring sexy back, or just let the timid college students be all that they can be.
Sure, Craigslist is an awesome source for those looking for someone to get down with, but why do that when you can read about horny college students and their not-so-wholesome college lives?
We know that people do more than study and run naked through the Main Stacks. This proves our point:
bq. i will be masturbating in the main stacks tomorrow.
Awesome, tell us when and where and maybe we’ll be there. Not. Just don’t jizz all over the books, okay?
The AnonCon also gives us great philosophical debates, like this one:
bq. I ration out that I can’t be wiping my ass horribly wrong, because people still suck my gentials. If I smelled like shit, I don’t think people would suck on my genitals repeatedly, unless they were into that.
bq. I’d really like to know whether other people manually spread their cheeks to wipe their ass. Additionally, does it take people so many wipes that their ass gets sore?
We’re going to gander five. Don’t ask us why or how we know.
Of course, the best part of the AnonCon is reading all the little schoolgirl crushes that students have on their professors. Get over it. Sure they’re hot, but really, will you ever have a chance with your prof?
These particular confessions are about English professor Kent Puckett:
bq. I do notice that he says “right” about seventy times during lecture and that his darker corduroys have a hole in the backpocket where his wallet pokes through and once he bent down to get something and I saw his tightie-whities.
bq. does anyone else notice how he always seems to feel the need to briefly rest his hand between his neck and his shoulder at the beginning of an office hour conversation? Sometimes he’ll slip his hand inside the collar of his shirt to do this, sometimes he won’t.
Ahh, there’s nothing about daydreaming about hot professors, unless you somehow find a way to get laid through the AnonCon.
bq. I’m one of those girls in your Humanities classes, always chewing on her pen and writing in the margin of her notebook. And usually I’m writing about my day, or his hands, but sometimes I’m writing about the silly thing I want someone (him, especially, but there’s the whole unrequited crush thing) to do to me, a stupid fantasy but it’s true: just write all over me in blue ink, Donne’s “The Sunne Rising” or just I want over and over, and then follow the words with his mouth.
Oh, you sawcy pedantique wretch!
But here’s the bottom line:
bq. have sex with me, berkeleydotedu@gmail
please?
Let’s get it on.
Earlier: Casual Fridays: Getting Dirty the Sanitary Way
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