Construction is an easy thing to hate. Coincidentally, construction in Berkeley spreads faster than the rats in our kitchen (please don’t ask).

Dear Construction Sites of the Berkeley Campus,

Stop. Just stop it already. Students do not wake up at 7 a.m. or even 8 a.m. (technically they are still half-asleep even if they are so-called “awake” at these times). Although we hated on the tree people, they were good for something. And that is sleeping in. You have sufficiently terrorized all the international students at I-House with your loud noises that must commence promptly at 7:36 a.m. at the Memorial oak grove. Why bother buying an alarm clock?

Also, you made 30,000+ students squeeze through a hole one-person wide when you worked on Sather Gate. It still looks the same to us. At least put a unicorn on it or something. Now it’s onto the Campanile, huh? Great. Our previously glorious view is dullsville.berkeley.edu keyword: your fault.

It is a true conspiracy: UC Berkeley is committed to ensuring construction takes place within earshot of all students for all their fourish years on campus. Whether it’s some random science building that you don’t quite understand or a new parking lot, it is always there, reminding you that soon, very soon, the Berkeley campus will engulf the city of Berkeley until there is nothing left but gown. Muhahaha. Muhahaha. Ha!

So yes, construction, you suck.

Love,

The Clog

YOU SUCK is rant about stupid things in Berkeley. Got some hate? Send us ideas at clog@dailycal.org.

Image Source: juicyrai under Creative Commons

Oakland: at least it’s not Cleveland. From Eye on Blogs, we bring you a snazzy idea: a road trip to Oakland! Woohoo!

Earlier this week, the Daily Cal released its Summer Orientation issue, with some familiar faces recommending choice staycation spots. And a while ago, we pointed you to the travel blog. Honestly, we’re beginning to feel like pushers. Of awesomeness.

Enjoy the above video, and we’ll bet you’ll be planning your bus ride to Oakland in a jiffy! Oakland clearly > Berkeley. Self-irony 4 lyf.

Like Disneyland, but Oakland [Eye on Blogs]
Oakland! [YouTube]
Earlier: Satisfy Your Wanderlust Without Leaving Town

So friends who live at 2250 Prospect Street, in the case of an earthquake, you will probably die:

You are IN or NEAR the following:

* HIGH Ground Shaking
This map shows the potential level of ground shaking hazard from earthquakes that geologists and seismologists agree could occur in California. It takes into consideration the uncertainties in the size and location of earthquakes and the resulting ground motions that can affect a particular location. (more information at http://www.conservation.ca.gov/cgs/rghm/psha/index.htm)

* Earthquake-Induced Landslide Hazard zone*
Earthquakes can trigger landslides that may cause injuries and damage to many types of structures. (more information at http://www.conservation.ca.gov/CGS/shzp/SHMPfact.htm)

* Liquefaction Seismic Hazard zone*
Earthquakes can cause certain types of soils to lose strength and behave like liquid. This can severely damage buildings and other structures. (more information at http://geomaps.wr.usgs.gov/sfgeo/liquefaction/aboutliq.html)

* Earthquake Fault zone*
Active earthquake faults may pose a risk of surface fault rupture hazard. Surface rupture can damage buildings. (more information at http://www.conservation.ca.gov/cgs/rghm/ap/index.htm)

Not to rub it in or anything, but this is why we moved. To a place a few more feet away from the fault line. At least our ground won’t disappear beneath us in a puddle.

We hope you enjoy your bay views while you can. To help prepare yourself and find out if you are for sure going to die in an earthquake, check out the hazards awareness map.

Image Source: My Hazards Awareness Map
My Hazards Awareness Map [Website]

In Berkeley’s got a detailed write-up of the new openings on Elmwood’s College Avenue. There are currently four vacant spaces in the block between Russell Street and Ashby Avenue, three of which are gearing up for some business. Sometime soon, expect to see:

- Summer Kitchen Bake Shop (in the place next to Your Basic Bird, the pet shop)
- a new cafe somehow possibly linked to the people of Cafe Fanny (in the shuttered Elmwood Pharmacy)
- a clothing store for an Oakland fashion designer (in the other half of the old hardware store)

Maybe, in the near future, Elmwood won’t be known just for its ice cream.

Image Source: pixieclipx under Creative Commons
Recession, what recession? in the Elmwood [In Berkeley]

Because Chuck Dillon’s art student pictures totally scream “Berkeley!” to us. Maybe it’s just that liberal, let-it-all-hang-out, admit-the-geeks attitude.

We find the following students most Berkeleyesque:

- Stressed Student
- Student 1.0
- Environmental Hippy Student
- Average/Good Student

Though we’re sure you could make an argument for the entire collection, considering that we do have an art practice major. Also the sheer fact that we have, oh, 30,000+ students.

Image Source: Chuck Dillon
Which Student are You? [blog 30 x 30]
via Laughing Squid

Also: We kinda dig the Morrison ‘do on Weird Al Yankovic. We also feel really gross for saying that.

Above is Al’s latest, a song about the weird smorgasbord you’ll find on craigslist a la the Doors. Why the Doors? Why not the Doors, we’d reply (which we just did).

We don’t know if this song was inspired by real craigslist sales/missed connections/free stuff forums, but one can only hope.

“Weird Al” Yankovic – Craigslist [YouTube]
via Laughing Squid

While you’re chilling in your parents’ house or nose-deep in summer school, you can pretend that you’re off in some exotic, paradisaical, fragrant or politically tumultuous land. No ticket necessary.

Image Source: Nick Fradkin, Daily Cal
Anywhere But Berkeley [Website]

Masik Collegiate Fragrances bottles up the essence of college campuses across the United States (OK, more like the South/Penn State). It seems like there are no plans for westward expansion, but Golden Bears can still dream, right? And it’s not all beer and top ramen:

The scents are inspired by university colors, landmarks and architectural style, and campus trees and flowers, among other factors, says Katie Masich, the company’s president and CEO. For instance, Louisiana State University’s purple-and-gold logo matches its perfume’s notes of plum, golden bourbon and honey. There’s also a touch of oak, in homage to the oak tree-lined campus.

So what would the Berkeley scent entail? Our guess:

- bong rips
- oak (Oh, wait, we cut those all down. Maybe just sawdust.)
- honey (to attract fellow Bears)
- rain
- bike grease
- desperation

But with a $60 price tag, we’d doubt that anyone would want to buy a bottle. Heck, some of our students don’t even wear deodorant. But we have to ask: What notes and undertones would elicit that special Berkeley whiff for you?

Image Source: khai_nomore under Creative Commons
Smells Like School Spirit [Inside Higher Ed]

So now that we’ve established UC Berkeley’s suckage, the Clog would like to add reason No. 2: lack of dorm light shows. Don’t we have enough socially awkward, friendless engineers to one up Poland? What’s that? They’re all busy playing WoW? LAME.

college dorm light show! AWSOME [YouTube]

We couldn’t resist mooching off SFist’s texts from last night idea. Also, we knew that there must be some foolish shenanigans happening in the 510. At least some of the Berkeley students switch over to the East Bay area code, right? Plus, there’s always Oakland.

Below, the best of the (paltry) 510 sampling. Come on, represent! We want to laugh at our neighbors on the Internet. We’re pretty sure the dumpster diving and dreads-related texts are from Berkeley, BTdubs.

(510): I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

(510): i wonder if she has dreads down there too…

(510): he said he didn’t have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that’s fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah – he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

(510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn’t answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
(1-510): It was probably Jesus.
(510): I feel like he would have left a message.

Image Source: Hillarie under Creative Commons
Texts From Last Night: The Best of the 415 [SFist]
last night in 510 [tfln]