Give it up, ladies and gents – sarcasm is an admirable trait that we Golden Bears, along the millions of other blessed, sardonical folks in the world, can proudly claim as our own.
If you’ve got some time on your hands, then by all means click on this link to see how people, many of them we’re sure are also Bears, enjoy the art of “trolling” (we emphasize that this is for pure personal enjoyment).
The thread, which is from College Confidential, is titled “Cal vs. Berkeley” and someone asks – we’re not too sure if the person was also trolling or legitimately had no idea – “Which school is better? I always wanted to go to Cal, but I heard Berkeley is good too. Which one do you guys think is better?”
And the answers vary from being as equally innocent to bewildered to flat-out hilarious.
Here are some beautiful examples of both: read more »
We are college students.
Being college students, we work very hard.
Working very hard, we lack solid sleep.
Lacking solid sleep, we become miserable bastards.
To put it in a nutshell, we all have a general idea of why this is the case. Besides the fact that obviously we’re not physically able to get a full 7 to 8 hours worth of sleep while trying to maintain even an average GPA – unless we surrender most of our extracurricular activities and every aspect of our social lives. We also tend to ignore the fact that we often cut into the middle of our sleep cycles, which causes us to wake up feeling, frankly, like shit.
Then there’s this awesome website, read more »
Did you know that if you try to say “beer can” in a pseudo-British accent, you’re also simultaneously attempting to say “bacon” in a pseudo-Jamaican accent?
Okay, that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic, but hey, we mentioned “bacon”, which is the star of this rather interesting bit of news that fast-food chain restaurant Jack In the Box has released to the public. We, the American population that is currently battling the debilitating effects of obesity and other sorts of lovely cardiovascular diseases, are now handed the limited offer of trying bacon milkshakes.
Vegans and vegetarians alike are already retching. The gagging sounds are echoing especially in the Berkeley community, where it’s almost an unforgivable sin to not know what a vegan is or eat cinnamon rolls that aren’t from Cinnaholic.
No, but really, we don’t think that you need to be vegan or vegetarian in order to be giving the computer screen a sideways look of mild disgust. Yes, yes, we get that bacon is revered by all you carnivores, that there are even bacon aficionados who somehow manage to come up with 20+ original ways to enjoy bacon. Apparently bacon milkshakes aren’t exactly brand-new either. Bacon is delicious, we have established that.
However, the Clog is giving a look of we-don’t-know-what-to-make-of-this rather than a look of rapturous delight. read more »
Folks, it is what it is. Ze Clog is about to get all fancy and teach ze art of winning hearts of our readers’ Valentines – with food, duh. Vat else is necessary if there is zensual chocolate and aphrodisiac strawberries involved?
But in all seriousness, the Clog’s going to tell you the basics of making these beauties. How can freakin’ chocolate–covered strawberries ever disappoint? They’ve never failed us whenever we’ve wanted to get laid we wanted to express our love for our loved ones, be it friends, significant others, or your wonderful parents – but at this point, Mom and Dad probably want you to leave them alone and stop asking for their money more than anything else (commence laughter).
Chocolate-strawberries are delicious and relatively easy to make. For the effort you put in, the results and the appreciation from your Valentine(s) will prove to be more than worth it. Simple and yet impressive. So be you male or female, don the sacred apron and be prepared to make these babies. And if they turn out ugly, at least they’ll still taste good. Like all things, this comes with practice. Good luck! read more »
We, the children of an era where technology has and continues to advance at an incredible pace, are blessed with the opportunity to accomplish a great deal of things through readily available resources. We are endowed with the valiant duty of engaging ourselves in using all the mighty assets around us. Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, texts, IMing, my God, the list can go on longer than most Americans’ pitiful attention spans. In short, we are made to multitask – expect us to simultaneously write a Tumblr post every five minutes and watch a webcast while at it? Fine! – and by all means are magnificent at it.
Oh but wait, it seems that Yale University professor Alexander Nemerov sure as hell doesn’t agree. read more »
Do you love food? Do you? Don’t you dare lie to us, we know everything about you (the bare minimum at least).
So you do, right? The Clog adores food like no other. There’s not a single ounce of benefit that comes from pretending the sandwich pictured above is not sexy. Not a single ounce. Don’t worry, just staring at the picture won’t make you gain weight – only merely test the willpower of your appetite.
Yes, okay. We have successfully established that we all love food, that food is the only thing we can all rely on when those “forever alone” moments come up. It’s not “Foodholic Anonymous” we’re running here. The Clog is a reliable source for feedback on food because believe it or not, despite our reputed snarky sarcasm and god-like bodies (okay, no), we’re actual, normal human beings who need to eat. So we turned towards the new kid in town, The Toaster Oven Sandwich Shop, located next to the Chipotle near campus on Telegraph, thinking, “Let’s test this little, eager-to-please young’un.”
Were we impressed? Astounded? Disappointed? Spewing unprintable profanities in regard to unfavorable prices for broke college students? Well … read more »
Good – no, great– news: gossiping is now a positive thing!
Sounds too good to be true? You’re correct to some degree. It isn’t the sort of gossiping that might come to mind at first. By that sort of gossiping we mean when people trash-talk others in order to defame the victim(s) or – and let’s all be quite honest here – unsuccessfully attempt to feel better about themselves by elevating their own wonderful, brilliant characteristics … only then to have the temporary effects of loving themselves fade and be left still unhappy.
The sort of gossiping that a recent study from UC Berkeley gives a thumbs-up is read more »
People be needin’ blood, y’all. And they’re not the Cullen family.
Tomorrow, in Pauley Ballroom at the Martin Luther King Jr. Student Union, there will be a blood drive held from 12 p.m. to 6 p.m., jointly sponsored by the American Red Cross and University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) Blood Center. The donated blood will be distributed to hospitals in the Bay Area. So holla to all the healthy students, faculty and staff members!
If interested, drop-ins are fine but appointments are strongly recommended, which basically is a polite way of saying “sign up and make our lives easier.” To make such appointments, read more »
So, according to scientists, humans spend about one-third of their lives merely sleeping.
Sure doesn’t feel like it with finals coming up.
We students are all dragging ourselves to those study sessions and groups, occupying libraries, falling asleep over our dining commons food – anything to remove ourselves far far far away from our soft beds with our favorite comforter and squishy pillows and and our fantasies kissing Joseph Gordon-Levitt/Adriana Lima (take your pick) and … and …
Ah, it’s so easy to drone on about our relationships with sleep (and the ones we imagine about while doing so). And for very good reason.
UC Berkeley researches have discovered that sleep, read more »
It has been a relaxing, peaceful week at Berkeley, hmmm?
Professors happily lecturing on their beloved subjects. Squirrels pouncing on each other. Us college folks getting pumped for the Big Game. Pot Food plentiful and smiles warming the air with love and laughter and joy and bright hippie sunshine!
No, we’re kidding. In reality, as we all know, many things of the opposite nature were circulating and electrifying the air. Students were calling loudly for the sake of their education. Classes were being cancelled due to angry faculty. Batons were, in the ever-so-accurate words of the Associated Press, “nudging” protestors and leaving them with bruises, broken ribs and sore spleens. The Haas School of Business experienced an alarming shooting and unexpected death.
And now, just in case all that wasn’t enough, a building on the corner of Telegraph Ave. and Haste St. caught fire Friday evening.
According to the Daily Cal, the fire began at around 8:48 p.m. and the cause of the fire is not yet entirely known.
11:23 p.m. (Taken from Unit 3 Priestley Hall) Beverly Cleary residents were strongly recommended to evacuate the building.
11:42 p.m. Fire is still raging.
read more »