It’s the first day of class. Your professor has a horrifically monotonous voice or your GSI is distractingly attractive. Perhaps taking roll lasts an entire hour as the professor stumbles over complicated names. Or the person in front of you spends the entire class on fantasy football. Some classes are perfect, it’s true, but for most there’s a little something, especially on the first day, that just irks you. The Clog is here to give you some unconventional tips that we came up with in our PACS class.
Imagine your professor’s boring voice:
Add a beat and some autotune to your professor’s voice: If you can do this for real, go for it – you could get YouTube famous. Otherwise use your active imagination to add some spice to lecture.
Pretend that your random attractive classmates are having sex: Really we just included this to put the image in your head, cue evil laughter. But in all seriousness if you’re that bored, you may as well use your imagination powers to put others in awkward situations. And now that we’ve said it, it’s all you’ll be able to do.
Spy on the Gchat of the person in front of you: Sometimes you can’t help but glance over at your classmate’s computer. They’re the ones that are having a private conversation in such easy view! Sometimes they are just talking about the weather, but we’ve occasionally spotted an argument with a significant other.
What, classes are starting already? That fun few days of free food and parties is over? Do not fear, there are still two more days of Welcome Week. The Clog has tirelessly examined the Welcome Week calendar, and we’re here to give you some highlights. Sure you have class, but isn’t it more important to eat for free?
Berkeley Student Food Collective Make Your Own Sandwich Day, 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. BSFC store 2440 Bancroft Way #102. The Berkeley Student Food Collective has some excellently delicious events planned, and this is one of them. You know how we feel about sandwiches. Be sure to also check out their Kombucha Pong from 3:30 to 7 p.m. in Lower Sproul and their No-Bake Bake Sale this Friday 11 to 2 p.m.
Berkeley Art Museum & Pacific Film Archive (BAM/PFA) Tour, 12 to 1 p.m.: The BAM/PFA is a hot spot for your dose of culture. On the tour you’ll get to hear about upcoming programs, as well as see some of their exhibits, Himalayan Pilgrimage, At the Edge and the Barry McGee exhibition. They offer more tours Friday, at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m.
L&S Exploring Majors at Cal, 1 to 2 p.m., 262 Evans Hall: Do you have no idea where to begin with this whole majoring business? This is a good chance to calm some major major existential crises. Goodness knows we here at the Clog haven’t picked a major yet – when were we supposed to do that? They are also offering the workshop August 24 and 28.
Before braving the flyers and sign up sheets, keep these six tips in mind.
1. Think outside of your past: Yes, maybe you were in the Red Cross club in high school or were never in any student organizations (doubtful, since you got in to Cal), but college is the chance to push your boundaries. Why not write for a psychology journal or join an LGBT club regardless of your major or your sexuality? Take a moment to give those inklings you’ve always had in your gut a chance.
2. You can’t do everything: read more »
Lost Tom Waits references aside, the Clog noticed something during our daily “shortcut” through Sather Lane. What used to be Shalimar which used to be Zanzibar which used to be Sufficient Grounds (which used to be…?), is under construction.
Is the current owner remodeling? Will we have a new establishment on our hands? Is the forever under construction Kettle Corn Star expanding?
We don’t have the answers. But when we do, you’ll be the first to know. Let us know your theories in the comments below!
Now, the Clog wouldn’t call ourselves redditors – we’re too afraid of being sucked into a deep dark corner of the internet (although not as dark as 4chan), but today we ventured on to the popular site to be greeted by a dear friend. Oski.
Ah, ASUC elections … how we will be so happy miss thee when the week ends! We know everyone is always pushing for democracy and fair elections and informed voters – but we say, why vote on the issues when you can vote high school yearbook style? So here are the Clog’s ASUC superlatives. It’s not about who we think we should win, it’s about who has the best singing voice! You mean ASUC elections don’t work like the show the Voice?
Biggest flirt: Connor Landgraf (candidate for President with Student Action)
We all know that frat guy stereotype, and apparently the girls are swooning (although some disagree on that regard). Every politician flirts with the masses, but we’d say Mr. Landgraf seems like the type to be a heartbreaker. I mean, he didn’t invite US to the date party. Our only advice is, tuck in that shirt boy, and keep it classy.
Best hair: Elliot Goldstein (candidate for President/Chancellor with the Cooperative Movement Party) with honorable mention to Honest Chung (candidate for President with Students for a Democratic University [SDU])
Best hair was a difficult choice, but when it comes down to it, Elliot Goldstein has got it going on – in the hair department, excuse us. Look at that facial hair! It is an art. But we have to mention those sexy green highlights that Mr. Chung reps. We’ll be the democratic university to that student. *wink* read more »
It’s the Friday evening before ASUC election week, which can only mean one thing — and I’m not talking about Beat the Clock! It’s time for The Daily Californian’s annual Candidates Forum. Hundreds of students have gathered in Chan Shun Auditorium to hear how the executive hopefuls plan to “serve … every student, every year.” Of course, CalServe and Student Action won’t be the only parties represented. There are a whole slew of independent and third-party candidates present such as Squelch! andDAAP. Stay tuned to this joint live blog with Daily Cal Opinion for consistent (and perhaps snarky) commentary about the candidate’s platforms and presentation.
What more could you want? That’s right, tonight could be that hilarious yet romantic evening you’ve been waiting for. Just you, Andy from “the Office” (or Stu from the “Hangover,” pick your fancy), Marshall from “How I Met Your Mother” (or Nick from “Freaks and Geeks” – but we’d say go with Marshall) … and all the other people in Wheeler Hall. Thursday, March 15, in Wheeler Hall, SUPERB is screening the new film “Jeff, Who Lives at Home.”Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the screening begins at 7 p.m., but we’d line up early. No, we won’t be graced with the presence of the two illustrious comedians, but hey, we’re getting the chance to see the film before it’s out in theaters. We feel so special. Need more convincing? Well, did we mention the event is FREE?
Calling all students of wizardry, all experts on potions, charms, herbology and other magical subjects! We know that you (like us) have been waiting for the chance to use that stunning spell and that copy of “Hogwarts a History” that was compiled from Hermione quotes throughout the entire “Harry Potter” series. Now is the chance to show off your smarts.
Ah, the Academy Awards … or as we plebians say, “the Oscars.” The Clog doesn’t get out the fancy gown from Ross and $4 champagne for just any awards show. But the Oscars are not just any awards show. Yes, over the years they’ve doubled the Best Movie nominations, and this year Kung Fu Panda 2 is up for Best Animated Feature – but the Academy Awards are still that one night of the year we choose to care about famous people and can be proud of liking pretentious movies films. When else can we show off our limited knowledge of film score and pretend we recognize the Art Direction nominees? And despite the selling out, people are still making great films. And tonight we celebrate those people. And the special effects guys.
Follow our live blog, detailing the ups and downs, the fashion faux pas, the decisions that seem so life-changing (until the credits roll). Put on your tux, sip on that André, and enjoy the ride: