One hundred days ago, media studies major and former hardcore frontman Blake Kasemeier and his bike hit Berkeley pavement on a human interest quest. The premise of his blog, The Hundreds, is simple: “100 people who ride bikes in 100 words in 100 days.” He’s interviewed our rocket scientists and beloved pariahs alike, a rag-tag bunch of Berkeleyites with a singular two-wheeled hunk of metal and rubber bringing it all together: bike.

But here’s the kicker: Kasemeier isn’t really in it for the bikes. He doesn’t care if you’ve got a fixie, a carbon fiber frame or fork, or if your handlebars are purple or green or polka dot or if you’ve got a spoke card of a dead chick whirring around and around on your rear tire.

He wants to know about the pies you bake, the awkward wedding you just came from, the buggy race your grandfather won way back when, why you don’t trust limousine liberals, your DIY kombucha class, your paper-bag IPA business, the lasers you build, and how you outran Hurricane Katrina chasing your future wife from Central America to Berkeley.

He writes like NPR’s Ira Glass talks. Sputtering. Whittling down to the sallow core of Berkeley’s cycling community. With the project’s completion, Kasemeier aims to create a zine and a multi-media art installation, projecting his pixilated sepia-toned portraits onto walls like mosaic. He hopes to go global with The Hundreds. We vote Amsterdam. Or by the looks of Japan’s elegant new solution for bike theft, perhaps Tokyo.

Image Source: orb9220 under Creative Commons
100 People Who Ride Bikes In 100 Words In 100 Days [The Hundreds]

We cannot think of anything more lame than still being located on Bancroft Way. Honestly, you might as well just kill yourself (cough, Alphonse Berber ….). If you didn’t already know about the Berkeley Art Museum/Pacific Film Archive’s impending move to where it’s at (Center and Oxford streets): duh. And, what with everyone being poor now and all, they’re working on a new building design to save some money. Get on with it!

In 1999, BAM/PFA was deemed seismically unsafe. Hence, the PFA’s on-campus relocation and BAM’s 2001 temporary retrofitting. In 2006, Toyo Ito (same dude that did the concrete beauty on Bacroft Way) was set to design a new home near the burgeoning downtown arts district. His plan would cost a cool 200 mil, almost all of which was to come from private investors.

Bam. Recession, and back to the drawing boards! The new plan will be unveiled early next year.

Image Source: mrgarin under Creative Commons.
UC Berkeley Modifying Museum Building Project; Alternate Plan Due Early Next Year [BAM/PFA]

We enjoyed the red velvet and double vanilla cupcakes from the Cupkates Truck during awkward gaps between classes. The brilliance of the idea was not lost on us. While Berkeley is never at a loss for brilliant baked goods, cupcakes included, these ones came to us. The truck often parked near campus, and were we so gluttonous as to desire two dozen cupcakes or more, we could have them delivered for free. But today, we were thwarted. While checking the truck’s twitter last night, we found this ominous message:

We will not be operating tomorrow according to our normal schedule. The city of Berkeley is trying to suspend our permit. We will be in meetings all day, and back to our office route Wednesday.

City of Berkeley, how could you do this to us? And during this mediocre season of midterms, rain and huge fee increases no less? We needed those cupcakes. They were our only hope.

Now, the Cupkates Truck is far from the only mobile food outfit to be found on the outskirts of campus. There is the taco truck, the hot dogs, the place that sells chocolate-covered strawberries and we’ve even occasionally glimpsed a competing cupcake business.

But alas, for now we’ll need to find somewhere else to fill our cupcake needs. Although Love at First Bite in the Gourmet Ghetto has never disappointed us, it is a bit of a trek, which takes up time we should be spending studying … or something.

We just wanted our double vanilla cupcake, City of Berkeley. Why’d you have to ruin it?

We wouldn’t say no to a marzipan Totoro either.

Image Source: chotda under Creative Commons
Cupcake Trucks Corner Unique Niche in Market [Daily Cal]
CupkatesTruck [Twitter]

My roommate used up all the toilet paper. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I went. FML

So says someone at UC Berkeley FML, which has apparently been up since around Nov. 3. But the above comment, like a couple, seem to be general FML posts found across other campus FML sites—like at Stanford or Yale.

But here are some of the (few) for-sure Berkeley FML posts we found. Take them as you will.

I went to Berkeley undergrad for 4 years. Just when I thought I could escape, the ONLY law school I got into was Boalt. Now I’m here for 7 years. FML.

I didn’t get any work done today because I went to a football game and watched our team win. Why can’t I go to a school like Stanford where nobody cares about school spirit, even when we beat ranked opponents? FML

Yesterday, I decided to bike to class a little early so I could get myself a Frap at the Starbucks at West Gate. I then tried to balance said Frap on the handlebars of my bike.
Long story short — FML.

and our personal favorite,

Why does my major require me to know how to turn a function into a summation?! I’m not a fucking computer programmer. FML

Well, we’re sure you get the picture.

Image Source: Sabino . under Creative Commons
UC Berkeley FML [Site]
The Worst Days of Their Lives [Chronicle of Higher Ed] (may require CalNet login/subscription)

Why are we so passively tolerant of our fellow citizen’s shenanigans?

Picture some undergrad who has long hair and hasn’t shaved in weeks, playing badly on his guitar “Stairway to Heaven* somewhere on campus, creating nothing but grating noise because every note it out of tune, and distracting everyone who’s just trying to get to class and pass their midterms.

Why do we tolerate such behavior? It’s clearly detrimental to public health, and disrupts the general harmony of society. Maybe we believe too much in individual freedom. Maybe it’s time to reign back in some of these freedoms.

To which another witty LiveJournal-er responded:

Picture some undergrad who is sitting in front of his or her computer on the internetz, bitching about someone who is completely harmless.

Why do we tolerate such behavior? Maybe we believe too much in individual freedom. Maybe it’s time to reign back in some of these freedoms.

You did kinda set yourself up for that one, hippie_patrol, that’s like asking why there’s fish in water. But of course, calling someone a troll is like calling them a hipster: the ones who truly one are one are the ones who love to point out how annoying they are.

Image Source: alexkon under Creative Commons
Berkeley LiveJournal [Site]

Or perhaps you just enjoy knitting and are hoping to pick up a few tips.

Luckily, it seems a band of knitters congregates on campus each Tuesday to keep you company in these pursuits. They meet outside VLSB during the noon hour every week.

Image Source: Stefan Tell under Creative Commons
Knitting at Noon [Events Calendar]

However, it appears that is not the case, at least not for the time being. The store has purchased a new location on San Pablo, it seems, and hopes to reopen by next month.

The new location is apparently even larger than the last, although not nearly as accessible after a stop at Cheeseboard. However, the new location might have an additional draw of incorporating a café and/or music venue into the store.

There will also be fewer new books, but the draw of the place was really the labyrinthine shelves of used books, so we’re not too worried.

Image Source: 0olong under Creative Commons
Black Oak Books Buys West Berkeley Home [Berkeley Daily Planet]

Feel like you need to weigh in on the ongoing “whose university” debate? Prepare for that itch to be scratched. An annual scholarship has come to the Clog’s attention: the Lili Fabilli and Eric Hoffer Essay Prize. Think about it: you could win up to $3000 for answering “our university.”

The contest is simple: write 500 words or less on the topic “whose university.” No joke, that is the entire topic. So get your world-weary genius attitude working for you (a melancholic sigh here, an essay about American apathy there).

Why 500 words? According to Hoffer, “…wordiness is a sickness of American writing. Too many words dilute and blur ideas.”

In solidarity, then, we’ll end here. Submissions are due Monday, Dec. 1 to 229 Sproul Hall. More rules for the contest are available here.

Lili Fabilli and Eric Hoffer Essay Prize [UC Berkeley Financial Aid Office]
Image source: Martin Kingsley under Creative Commons

The new location is more or less the same as the other one, with a bit more floor space, actual tables at which one might sit to enjoy his or her yogurt, and a few more flavors.

And given the popularity of the other Yogurtland location, we’re wondering if this additional opening has other frozen yogurt vendors shaking in their boots. Yogurt Harmony, which offers yogurt smoothies and shaved ice concoctions, is practically across the street. Frozen Creations, which boasts a business model eerily similar to Yogurtland’s, is located a few blocks down the road.

Only time will tell if Berkeley, in fact, can get enough frozen yogurt.

Image Source: love･janine under Creative Commons

This Tuesday, enjoy some free pizza on Memorial Glade courtesy of Caliber Magazine, which touts itself as “the most talked-about publication on campus.” Of course, the free food isn’t the main reason for the event. Just the primary reason.

But seriously, the description according to Facebook:

Next Tuesday, November 3rd, Caliber Magazine will hold a blowout party in memorial glade. We will have UNLIMITED FREE PIZZAS from North Beach Pizza and tons of free food and givaways. Preview our new issue and mingle with Caliber members as well as HUNDREDS of Berkeleyans, who we like to think didn’t just come for the free food.

You don’t have to RSVP, this event is open to all passers-by.

If you feel like it, you’ll also probably be able to pick up a copy of their new issue. If it’s anything like their website, it should be pretty slick.

EDIT: Also, it’ll happen from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

World’s Greatest Pizza Dough Twirler [YouTube]
Caliber Magazine Issue 1 Launch Pary! [Facebook]