You may have heard about some flyers flying around campus lately, so you might know that serious sh*t is supposed to go down in the next three days. To that end, the Clog’s got a calendar of events, a “schedule” if you will, that will (hopefully) clear things up a bit.

(Note: What follows is a straight copy+paste. Kind of text heavy. Peruse at your own risk.)

UC BERKELEY Strike Week: November 17th through 20th
Schedule of Events for the Solidarity Strike and Open University
ucstrike.com / ucsolidarity.org / solidarityalliance.ucb@gmail.com

STRIKE TO PROTEST UC REGENTS MEETING IN UCLA 11/17 TO 11/19

Tuesday, November 17th
Strike Kick Off Event
Cifford Odets’ “Waiting for Lefty”
A staged reading directed by Peter Glazer
Featuring UC Berkeley faculty, students and staff
8:00 pm, Booth Auditorium in Boalt Law School

Wednesday, November 18th
Day 1 of the Strike: WALK OUT
5:00 am. UPTE Picket lines start at construction sites
7:15 am. Main Picket lines begin at all campus entrances
8:00 am. Student sit-in on the steps of Dwinelle
11:00 am. Begin gathering on Sproul Plaza for the Rally
Noon. Strike Rally sponsored by the Solidarity Alliance
Speakers include (list and order subject to change)
Ananya Roy, UC Berkeley Professor and Solidarity Alliance
Solidarity Coalition at UC Davis: Catherine Fung (Grad Student), Joshua Clover (Professor) and Jeff Bergamini (UPTE)
Berkeley UCUC: Nancy Reiko Kato (UPTE), Joe Pulido (AFSCME), Juan Garcia (CUE),
Annie McClanahan (UAW), Mary Kelsy (UC-AFT)
Faculty Organizing Group at UCSC: Barbara Epstein (Professor)
Bob Hass, UCB Professor and Former Poet Laureate of the US
UCB Students: Noah Stern, Viola Tang, Sohir Albgal, Marika Goodrich, and others
Kathryn Lybarger, AFSCME and Solidarity Alliance

1:30 pm. Send off of activists taking the bus to UCLA
1:30 – 3:30 pm. March led by the Strike Committee of the General Assembly
4:00 pm. First Strike Meeting: What’s Next?

7:00 pm. Film Screening and Discussion of Salt of the Earth (1954)
ASUC Senate Chambers, Eshelman Hall

9:00 pm on. Solidarity Booty Shake in the Bear’s Lair Food Court. Late night chill-out in 370-371 Dwinelle (Fourth floor). Bring food, music, a blanket, relax.

Thursday, November 19th.
Day 2 of the Strike: OPEN THE UNIVERSITY / SHUT DOWN THE REGENTS
5:00 am. UPTE Picket lines start at construction sites
8:00 am. UPTE Picket lines at UCOP in Oakland
7:15 am. Main Picket lines begin at campus entrances
8:00 am. Sit-in on the steps of Dwinelle
9:00 am – 10:00 pm. Celebration of the 40th Anniversary of The Black Scholar
Lipman Room, 7th floor of Barrows, Born of the SF State Strike, all TBS events are in Solidarity
9:00 am – 3:00 pm. The Open University Lectures in the Bear’s Lair Food Court
9:00 – 10:00. Welcome to the Open University / International Skype Connection
10:00 – 11:00. Gray Brechin, “It doesnt have to be this way: Higher Ed in the New Deal”
11:00 – 12:00. Daniel Graham on “The Coup in Honduras”
12:00 – 1:00. Ananya Roy on “The Financialization of Everything”
1:00 – 2:00. Michael Cohen and Kathryn Lybarger on “The IWW and American Labor Radicalism”
2:00 – 3:00. TJ Clark on “From Print Capitalism to Screen Capitalism”

9:30 am – 3:00 pm. The Open University Workshops on Sproul Plaza
9:30 – 10:30. Field Trip and Experiential Learning Tour with AFSCME 3299
10:00 – 11:00. “This is what Berkeley did for me” a photo workshop
12:00 – 1:00. “What is Public? A participatory event in search of the public”
12:00 – 1:00. “Utopias at Work”
12:00 – 1:00. “Ladies and no-gentlemen: How to Avoid Sexism in Organizational Situations”
12:00 – 1:30. Capoeira on the Picket Lines: Demonstration and workshop at Bancroft and Telegraph
1:00 – 2:00. Race and Racism on Campus and In America
1:00 – 2:00. Katherine Lee, “Academic Labor: A Workshop for Students and Workers”
2:00 – 3:00. Annie McClanahan & West Hays: “Prisons and Education: Teaching in CA Prisons”
2:00 – 3:00. Gray Brechin & Peter Byrne, “UC Inc. Workshop on Researching the Regents”
MORE AS WANTED, NEEDED and ABLE
Noon. Striking Workers March from Bancroft and Telegraph
3:10 pm. Dump your trash at California Hall, Sponsored by ASFCME
Bring your campus trash and rally at the east entrance of California Hall.
4:00 pm. Second Strike Meeting: What’s Next?
7:00 pm. Film Screening: “Alcatraz is not an Island” 102 Krober Hall
40th Anniversary of the Occupation of Alcatraz & American Indian Heritage Month
8:00 pm. Musical performance by John Handy Quartet, Lipman Room, Barrows
Part of The Black Scholar Celebration
9:00 pm. Film Screening and Discussion of The Times of Harvey Milk (1984)
ASUC Senate Chambers, Eshelman Hall
9: 30 pm onwards: Nuit du cinema at 370-371 Dwinelle. Bring dinner, a pillow and a blanket, chill-out.
Friday, November 20th
Day 3 of the Strike: ESCALATE
11:00 -12:00 am. Bridges Recruitment & Retention Center Rally on Sproul
Noon. Mass Gathering at California Hall
9:00 – 1:30 Celebration of The Black Scholar’s 40th Anniversary, Lipman Rm, Barrows
2:00 – 5:30 pm: Poetry Reading sponsored by The Black Scholar
10:00am – 5:00pm: 40th Anniversary of the Occupation of Alcatraz, Bancroft Hotel
Speakers include original occupiers Dr. Lehman Brightman, Dr. LaNada War Jack and Ilka Hartmann as well as student presentations.

Ah yes. The coup in Honduras, Harvey Milk, sexism … it all ties neatly together with the regents’ meeting. Wait, what?

Also note: Chancellor Birgeneau is at UCLA for the duration of the meeting, so, uh … dumping trash in front of California Hall won’t do much.

Image Source: Jon Bradley Photography under Creative Commons
Schedule Courtesy Zhivka Valiavicharska
Earlier: (Belly)dance the Night Away

There is, according to one Berkeley economist, a five percent chance that the U.S. will experience a “depression-causing shock.” We’d be interested to see the breakdown in his math. [Seattle Times]

Want to know the alleged (and disturbing) connection between flu shots, mercury and autism? Enlighten yourself at a Nov. 21 symposium at the UC Berkeley Art Museum Theater. Oh, except it’s 60 bucks. So maybe just Google Dr. Andy Wakefield. [PRLog]

And, in conclusion, a pithy affirmation of all your chronic concerns. [http://iscaliforniaonfire.com]

After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

According to Reuters, the English are some of the least attractive people on the planet—at least as measured by their 12.5 (for men) and 15 percent  (for women) acceptance rates into beautifulpeople.com, an “elite dating site” where hopeful members submit a picture to be voted on whether they’re beautiful or not. Of course, the voters were themselves inducted based on other beautiful people judging them, who were in turn inducted based on … well, you get the idea.

Fun facts: The average acceptance rate for applicants across all groups is 20 percent, while Swedish men and Norwegian women are accepted the most (65 and 76 percent, respectively). Though that’s probably not as interesting as the fact that someone took the time to make a site like this. A banner near the bottom of the page reads “Too ugly to sign up? Click here to browse BeautifulPeople as a guest.”

We just have one thing to say: What the hell, world?

Image Source: Paul Stevenson under Creative Commons
And the ugliest people are … [Reuters]
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Last volleyball home game today at 12:30 p.m. and it’s free to all students. Plus: autographs! [Bear Bytes]

The hypothetical Mayor’s Urban Driving Competition: the most dangerous game? [NY Times]

A shitton of books for various Cal classes. But you won’t find any C++ books here. [UCB LJ]

Phillip Garrido apologizes “to every human being.” Somehow we don’t think this quite makes up for anything. [SFist]

Bears win a home game against the ranked Arizona Wildcats with a little circumstantial help [Daily Cal], [ESPN]

Image Source: Shirin Ghaffary, Daily Cal [ASIB]
Earlier: Bad News Bay-ers

Didn’t know this coming week’s been designated Sh*t Goes Down: The Remix? Well, to begin with, we recommend removing your heads from your … um, readers. There’s a bright, sunny world out there, people! Filled with walkouts and pickets and rallies galore.

A guide to “No Business As Usual” in a nutshell:

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (Nov. 18-20): University Professional and Technical Employees (UPTE) begin picketing every morning at 5 a.m.

Nov. 18: Mass rally starting at noon on Sproul; march followed by a “Strike Meeting: What’s Next?”

Nov. 19: Another noon rally, this time meeting at California Hall; 4 p.m. Strike Meeting on Sproul.

Nov. 20: Noon rally at California Hall once again. This time, “if the Regents increase our fees, lay us off and cut our pay, we will have no choice but to escalate our actions.” Anarchy? Nay—slumber party! “Tent City throughout the strike in solidarity with UCLA. Bring a pilow !”

… Right. Expect updates in days to come.

Image Source: Diana Newby
Strike @ UC Berkeley: No Business As Usual [IndyBay]
Earlier: More Yogurt, More Land

You know what would really help solve this budget crisis: just getting rid of the professors. Don’t get something? Just press the “I don’t understand” button on your chair. [New York Times]

There’s a lot of Shakespeare going on in Berkeley, folks. Check out the BareStage production of “Othello” or The Globe Theatre’s production of “Love’s Labour’s Lost” at Zellerbach. The Clog has seen both and we can vouch that both are excellent. [Cal Performances]

If, for some reason, you have the mid-fall urge to go ice skating, then too bad. Just kidding—you can head over to the Embarcadero rink or the Safeway Rink in Union Square in SF to get your skate on. [7x7]

Earlier: Twitter Bitterness Never Gets Old

Our favorite colorful campus character has to be “Bible Man” (we just made that up), found near the steps of Sproul reading Bible passages in a soothing monotone. We like him because his tranquil voice makes him easy to tune out, unlike the confrontational tirades of Yoshua or the “F*ck You Technology” dude.

We always figured he was reading passages out of Deuteronomy or Genesis, but we’d never actually stopped to listen to him. Turns out the open Bible’s just for looks. He’s talking about religion, kinda, but mostly he’s just talking. Here’re some excerpts:

• “There’s an obsession in America with sex, chocolate, Big Macs, big bucks, rock and roll … let the good times roll.”
• “Michael Jackson will rise again!”
• “Girls, when a guy tells you he loves you and he doesn’t care about sex, he’s probably a sex addict.”
• “Jesus never once made a mistake. Never.”
• “SATAN WAS THE FIRST CHILD MOLESTER!”
• “There’s only two nations today: the nation of saved and not.”
• “God is a good God. He gave us potatoes and he gave us grease to make french fries.”
• “Are you having a good sex life? Well God created sex and he created you. Sex is good.”
• “Only God can make a banana.”

Intrigued, we asked him a few questions about himself:

• His real name is Edmond Richards, as we found out from his official-looking bus pass laminated and hanging around his neck.
• He was sent to Berkeley by God to save students. He was sent to other campuses as well, including USC.
• He talks to God a lot … while walking down the street, while brushing his teeth and in his dreams.
• He speaks some Mandarin.
• He was born in Cuba.
• He was saved by a campus speaker like him back in the ’70s.

So next time you see him, we suggest you tune in for a bit. The guy’s full of epic quotes.

Image Source: Ruby Lee
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Sunday Shout-Out picks out the week’s stories that simply slipped our minds.

BPD asks if you’ve seen a 5′7″ slender man wearing a dark hoodie recently. Oh, there are about 10 in your field of vision right now? Well this is more difficult than expected … [Daily Cal]

Check out these teenagers getting skanky in the name of school spirit. Take it easy, kids. You’ll have plenty of time to scantily clothe yourselves in American Apparel during college. Also, we feel old. [Berkeleyside]

The Bay Bridge will still be closed tomorrow morning and there are no official estimates on when it will reopen. Well, on the bright side, if it collapses completely no one will be on it. [SFGate]

We hope all the otters are OK. Are there otters in the Bay? Oh, nevermind, this just sucks. [The Bay Area]

Image Source: Nathan Yan, Daily Cal [ASIB]
Earlier: Makin’ Their Marks

It’s Christmas come early at the Clog, boys and girls. Considering how long it’s been (read: over five months) since we last cleaned out our comment closet, we’ve got a veritable Santa’s bag of goodies this time around.

Where O where to begin? Perhaps an appetizer featuring unexpected “your mom” jokes? Or maybe you prefer to whet your taste with a tall glass of ummm-fair-enough?

OK, sorry, the allegory was starting to creep us out, too. Speaking of creepy, we found this baby on a Nov. 2008 post on “How To: Meet Clint Eastwood“:

I would like to meet Clint Eastwood because he is my father and I have never met my father. So how do you meet some that is famous and tell Them Hi I am your son. I don’t expect to meet him in this life as he is getting on in years and so am I fore that matter. I have been trying for the last ten years with no luck.

Not much we can say about that one.

Moving on to slightly less unsettling territory—in response to our mention of rat droppings in their facilities, a commenter bearing the moniker “SmartAlecs” offered the rejoinder, “Maybe if you didnt dine and dash we could afford new mouse traps!” Which had us all riled up with righteous indignation (how could you people rip off the creators of such delicious soup?!) … until we remembered that at Smart Alec’s, you pay before you get your food.

And then we were just confused.

Which is apparently a recurrent trend, considering our bemusement when confronted with the comments by “Cassie Myers” on a post by … Cassie Myers. With the first one beginning “C’mon Cassie,” no less. Schizophrenia, mayhap? Or the case of the wily doppelganger?? It took some intensive sleuthing, but we Nancy Drew’d the sh•t out of you, Cassie Myers … who isn’t really Cassie Myers (spoiler!).

And now, having saved the best for last: one of our most esteemed followers—hint: his name rhymes with Bearcardo … oh, did that totally give it away?—has (somewhat unsurprisingly) accrued a fervent (and ironically anonymous) following of his own. Reproductive overtures are great and all, but we think this quote most effectively sums up the prevailing sentiment:

What you do not know about Ricardo Gomez is that he has the strength of one thousand stallions, the heart of one thousand warriors, and the stamina of one thousand prickly pears. The prophets say he will also liberate England from one thousand Queens.

Cheers.

Earlier: Gob Bluth and Pun-ions and Pixies, Oh My!

Sunday Shout-Out picks out the week’s stories that simply slipped our minds.

People from all over the state descended on our lovely campus like swallows to attend a conference about statewide action for public education. Sounds like freakin’ Disneyland, right? [Daily Cal]

Target is coming to the Metreon, a.k.a. about a second away from the Powell Street BART station. In San Francisco. Which may still be more accessible for non-car wielding students than any Target in the East Bay. [NBC Bay Area]

Dave Weinstein, author of “It Came from Berkeley” tells a pretty epic tale of Berkeley’s birth and growth. And stuff. Also, old-timey visuals. Cool beans. [East Bay Express]

Well, this, friends, is why you ingest your caffeine before you get to work. [The Ticker]

Image Source: Emma Lantos, Daily Cal [ASIB]
Earlier: Live Long, and Prosper