We interrupt your Jello shots to continue our orgy of “ASUCery“:http://clog.dailycal.org/?q=ASUC+Elections. We hope Student Action isn’t attached to its fingers because SQUELCH! Senate candidate Andy Morris is assuming the role of Jack Bauer for the upcoming election.

Morris launched his “The day of the ASUC election …” blog Saturday, offering a 24-style interpretation of his campaign. It’s been only three “24″ hours on the blog and Morris has already escaped a Student Action torture session, discovered a name-brand candidate machine, and now we’re waiting to see the outcome of a chalk-n-hairspray assault on SQUELCH headquarters.

From the first hour:

bq. The Following Takes Place between 7AM and 8AM… Andy Morris is being tortured by the Student Action slate. As they waste your student funds on their needlessly expensive torture devices (which not only aren’t as cool as just breaking someone’s thumb they’re also less painful and more “pc”) they constantly remind Morris that his “Constitutional Rights no longer apply”. Fortunately, Andy escapes, shoots his captors, and returns to SQUELCH! headquarters.

Too bad ASUC campaigns aren’t actually that exciting—there’s only so much chalk and handshake attempts we can take.

You’re Gunna Have to Trust Me! Andy “JACK BAUER” Morris for ASUC Senate [Facebook]