So, apparently, someone at The Stanford Daily holds the title of “Dirty Cal Student.” He writes a weekly column. About nothing. Badly. We’re confused. If, as one of the articles suggests, Cal students are “so much more into the rivalry between the two schools,” then why on earth would this column exist? You don’t see the Daily Cal publishing a weekly column written by “Narcissistic Stanford Student,” do you? We’ve got better things to write about, like Code Pink.

The big question here is, “Who is this guy, anyway?” A more minor question is, “Why are they letting him write an non-funny, aimless and poorly-written regular column?” Alright, we’ll take the high road and not devote any more time or Clog space to this. We just thought you should know the truth. Go back to your shower heads, Stanford Daily.

We hate to do it, but…Stanford Daily [Website]

 

 Unfortunately, the coveted Stanford Axe is now in the hands of its “original” owner–hands that, incidentally, needed a crash course in the rules of football before the game took off today. How ironic.So we lost to the Cardinal for the first time in six years. Don’t lose hope. The Clog feels your pain and has compiled a list of things you can do to ease the hurt before finals kick in.

* Eat some chocolate with John Scharffenberger at the Botanical Garden on Sunday at 2 p.m. Yay for endorphins!* If laughter is the best medicine, then laugh at gravity with Circus Oz, performing at Zellerbach Hall on Sunday at 3 p.m.* We would also like to remind you that the Tang Center is there for you on Bancroft Way and Fulton Street and “can help with crisis intervention and debriefing in the event of a death or other tragedy”–in this case, the death of a perfectly alright football season.

We’re going to go study for finals now.Image Source: Jessica KuoCal Loses the Axe After 20-13 Loss in 110th Big Game [Daily Cal]

The Golden Bears managed to kickoff to start both the first and second half in a 38-23 loss to the Washington Huskies. The Clog was confused with how this outcome was even possible and had to consult The Band is Out On The Field where reader WarrenHarding explained what transpired.

Apparently, Cal won the toss and chose to “kickoff” to start the half instead of “deferring.” If Cal “deferred,” the Golden Bears would have had the choice to “kickoff” or “receive” coming out of halftime.

Instead, we used up our chance to choose by saying “kickoff.” When the captains came out prior to the start of the second half, Washington logically chose to “receive,” thus creating the rare event of one team receiving the opening kickoff of a half twice in one game.

If you’re still confused, it’s perfectly understandable since it’s irrational as to why “kickoff” is an option in the first place. This move has to go up there as second to Kevin Riley’s failed scramble for most boneheaded plays of Cal’s 2007 football season.

Image Source: Nate Tabak, Daily Cal
California Golden Bears v. Washington Huskies Play-by-Play [ESPN.com]
Postgame Thread [The Band is Out On The Field]

The injury bug is back in Berkeley and looking to ruin the men’s basketball team’s season once again. After a closer-than-expected win over Southern Mississippi on Wednesday night, the Golden Bears can ill afford any more injuries.

The Clog got a scare when Ryan Anderson did not accompany the team out of the locker room at halftime. After the Cloggers recited several Hail Mary’s in unison, Anderson finally jogged out—apparently his eyes were bothering him.

Already two expected starters—Jerome Randle (kidney biopsy) and Theo Robertson (hip injury)—are on the sidelines, but they’re both expected to be back for Pac-10 play. Dare we say that with Randle not playing our turnovers will go down? Yea … we’re going to get some hate for saying that.

On top of that, Omondi Amoke underwent surgery for a vascular calf abnormality (five points to anyone who knows what that is).

Also, Taylor Harrison was sitting out of the home opener (in a pink shirt no less, guess he’s too cool for the Jumpman sweats), but the Clog is guessing it’s just his knee flaming up (thankfully not on the level of Shaun Livingston).

Not that anyone cares, except for maybe 30-40 people, but the star of the Cal women’s basketball team, Devanei Hampton, also went down with a serious knee injury a week ago.

In light of these ailments, we scrounged up some money to get the boys a membership at Funky Door Yoga (we’ll try to send them to Bora Bora next year). Somehow we doubt Max Zhang will ever be able to touch his toes even after some intense Bikram yoga sessions.

The Clog would also like to encourage everyone out there with a higher risk for catching the flu to roll up their sleeves and take a trip down to the Tang Center. If our prayers pan out, you wouldn’t want to be stuck in bed while we roll through the Pac-10.

Image Source: Nick Fradkin, Daily Cal
Injuries Abound for Cal in Ubaka’s Final Season [Daily Cal]
Return of Hardin Has New-Look Bears Stacked in the Frontcourt [Daily Cal]

The Trojans trumped the Golden Bears for the fourth consecutive year in less than ideal conditions at Memorial Stadium last night. The game closed at 24-17.

Coach Jeff Tedford once again proved incapable of subbing in Kevin Riley for consistent-at-being-inconsistent quarterback Nate Longshore. Nate-Nate threw several befuddling passes, including an interception in the fourth quarter that all but sealed the game. Recurring trend anyone (think UCLA, ASU)? The Clog, for one, would like to see Nate-Nate start his Mormon mission sooner rather than later.

The non-stop rain drenched the playing field, as well as everyone who was in attendance. Players were slipping all over the turf in the first quarter as they attempted to adjust to the poor conditions. The student section stuck it out to the bitter end, but the Clog did notice an unusually large number of empty seats after halftime—shame on you, alumni.

The Clog even found disappointment on the sidelines with the USC Song Girls. Instead of their normally highly entertaining performances in short skirts, the Song Girls looked comical at best, prancing on the sidelines in ponchos. (That could actually pass as a picture of them.) No word yet if one of the Song Girls was caught cheering following Lavelle Hawkins’ redonkulous touchdown reception.

As far as our Uni Watch goes, we weren’t huge fans of the 1975 throwback uniforms worn in honor of Joe Roth. We did, however, like the helmets, which bore a striking resemblance to those of the Green Bay Packers.

The Clog is also happy to report that fourth quarter Cal Mic Man, Christian “Ian” Villanueva, was back after being the victim of a stabbing incident that put him on the disabled list for the Washington State game. Additionally, the Clog would like to applaud Mic Man Harris Cohn who bowed out gracefully following his last home football game. Harris, you were always our favorite.

Image Source: Jayson Dana, Daily Cal
Longshore’s Late Pick Drops Cal Once Again [Daily Cal]

A mere four weeks ago Saturday’s meeting between USC and Cal was one of the year’s most anticipated games. And now … with no GameDay crew setting up on Sproul and no BCS game in the mix, people are searching for reasons to show up.

So in comes the Clog ready to do its civic duty by bolstering everyone’s spirits before game day arrives. Here are our quick three reasons not to blackout while pre-gaming and actually get our butts over to Memorial Stadium.

1) Bowl Game Implications: Yes, we realize that the Rose Bowl isn’t at stake here, but do you really want to see us in the Las Vegas Bowl? OK, maybe you do so you have an excuse to take a visit down to the Strip, but fourth place in the Pac-10 is too low for our liking.

2) USC’s Ego: This weekend Berkeley will be home to all those smug USC students, including their entire Greek system. The Clog would hate for them to have the opportunity to fill their six-hour ride back to South Central with voicemails and text messages boasting their superiority and the fact that Will Ferrell, Snoop Dogg and Nick Lachey show up to their games while we get the dude from Counting Crows.

3) Recruiting: This game is also important for the future of Cal football. With the new athletic center still several years away, coach Jeff Tedford has to show athletes hedging between Cal and USC that the Bears’ football program is among the elite in the nation. As of now, we’re running a distant third to USC and UCLA in the race of Pac-10 rivals to sign prized recruits.

In other news, our men’s basketball team won its preseason game against the Nanooks of the University of Alaska Fairbanks (don’t laugh at the nickname, they’re the reigning Division I champs in rifle shooting.) Devon Hardin was back to his beastly self and Jamal (correction: Jordan) Wilkes knocked down some big shots (both players suffered major injuries last season.)

Go Bears, and break the Trojans!

Image Source: Allison Porterfield, Daily Cal
Cal rises in victory, sets up conference race with USC [ESPN.com]
Cal hoping to bounce back with statement win against Trojans [ESPN.com]

It was Cal’s 139th Birthday!!! One of the best days of the year!

There were free cupcakes on Sproul, blue and gold balloons everywhere and our friends at the UC Rally Committee trying to bolster everyone’s school spirit.

And what’s a huge party without hot dogs (and booze, but there wasn’t any booze)? So Rally Comm invited four of those kids from Stanfurd to challenge four Cal students in a hot dog-eating contest Takeru Kobayashi-style.

And we have to say that we’re pretty disappointed.

On the day that Cal celebrates its birthday, those Rally Commers lost the hot dog-eating contest to the Indians.

After four rounds, both universities were tied at 11.5 hot dogs each. The tiebreaker? Whoever can eat one hot dog the fastest.

Rally Comm sent in their person and lost (she’s the one holding the bottle in the picture above). And when the Stanfurdite was almost done with his hot dog, she ran over and tried to prevent him from eating the dog.

So, not only does Rally Comm suck at eating hot dogs (among other things), it also cheats.

As preservers of the Cal spirit, Rally Commers, you were expected to win on its charter day. Not lose a hot dog-eating contest.

Well, we guess that the Rally Commers were trying to help those Stanfurdites with their spirit, since it looks like hot dog-eating is the only thing in which the Cardinal can beat Cal.