While acknowledging the soaring unemployment (which hit 10.2 percent by some estimates on that same Friday), he kept it breezy. Case in point: “‘As you can see, the economy has worn me down. A year and a half ago, I was 6-foot-2.’”

This barrel of laughs wasn’t just jokey, either—he was informative. Reich had time between guffaws to advocate his own ideas for economy fixing: a single-payer healthcare system and a new government jobs program.

He also clearly wants his own sitcom, with lines like these: “‘An economist is somebody who didn’t have the personality to become an accountant.’” Oh, snap. He added: “‘How many people did I just insult?’”

No worries, Reich. We like our grim economic news with a little sugar. We only wish your badassery would extend to other economists. Especially those wet blankets over at the Federal Reserve.

Image source: Policy Network under Creative Commons
Reich lightens up [Chicago Tribune]

As if venturing out of Berkeley’s academic bubble and into the real world wasn’t terrifying enough already, graduating seniors are in for an especially limp, possibly sweaty economic handshake these days. And they’re scared. While wwoofing is always a good option for the hippie escapist, UC Berkeley offers a range of other suggestions and strategies for seniors who intend to bite the bullet. Here’s what the Career Center has got to offer:

Yes, there has been a 40 percent decrease in recruiter presence this year compared to last, but never fear! The Career Center is working double-time to get those numbers up, and they reassure us that even in the worst of economic climates, UC Berkeley degrees are not totally worthless.

Go for internships, preferably paid ones. These will give you a leg up and likely turn into full time positions once the hiring freezes begin to thaw. There will be plenty of time for schmoozin’ with job recruiters and internship employers next Wednesday, April 22, at the Career Center’s annual “Just In Time” job fair.

And if all of the above fails, you can always ride out the recession with a few years in grad school. If the number of applications to UC Berkeley’s grad schools are any indication, this is a pretty popular route. Just steer clear of journalism.

Image Source: hhjack under Creative Commons.
Campus helps graduating students cope with bleak job market [News Center]

Did you know that the university’s going to be sponsored by American Apparel? Ultra-micro-mini miniskirts for all! [East Bay Express]

Our buddies at the Berkeley “NotTheNewsCenter” really yucked it up today. Some of the headlines were actually pretty funny. Well-played, gentlemen. [NotTheNewsCenter]

Disturbingly believable: Google “jokes” about reading your mind. And pandas. [Gmail]

Also disturbingly believable. (Way of the future. Way of the future … ) [Guardian]

YouTube is upside down, but apparently they didn’t work it into the embed codes. [YouTube]

And if you still can’t get no April Foolish satisfaction from all of the above, there’s this extremely thorough aggregation of pranks. [underwire]

Besides the obvious turnoffs–exorbitant prices for unappetizing menu selections, we suspect that the underwhelming atmosphere (cardboard cutouts of cereal mascots, no music, IKEA furniture), the surprisingly complex menu (that was also pretty tackily printed), the lack of seating and the fact that the place also serves salad (we don’t want to think about lettuce when we’re chowing down on our whipped cream and strawberry-covered Fruity Pebbles, thank you) may have also been the source of its inevitable downfall.

We have to admit, it was kind of an interesting concept: cereal mix-ins, kind of like the cereal version of Coldstone or Yogurt Park. And the menu–so extensive that it took us a good 10 minutes to even figure out what we wanted to order–obviously took a lot of creativity (or insanity, depending on whether or not you think a cereal sandwich is a good idea). But ultimately, for this kind of moo … lah we’d rather pour our own bowl of cereal, or at least get a super-large frozen yogurt at YoPo that we could never possibly finish.

Image Source: April Isabel Angeles
Telegraph Ave. Deals with Troubled Times [Daily Cal]

And now, for our latest installment of “Things Caused by the Sucky Economy that Suck,” we present to you “A Bunch of Things that BART Officials are Thinking of Doing to Lose Less Money and Consequently Make BART Suck a Little More than it Already Does”:

1) Increasing fares. (Wow. Didn’t see that one coming.)
2) Reducing service on nights and weekends (a.k.a. basically the only times we actually ride BART).
3) Starting service an hour later.
4) Ending service an hour earlier. (Yay for more opportunities to be stranded, ride-less, across the bay.)
5) Adding more obnoxious advertising to the BART experience in the form of “train wraps.” (Meh.)
6) Closing certain stations on weekends. (Though it’s unlikely this one will actually go through. But then, what does that say about the other ones?)

And there you have it, folks. More unmitigated suckitude. Enjoy BART at what might be its un-suckiest for a very long time … while you still can.

Image Source: crimfants under Creative Commons
BART Officials Consider Service Cuts, Rate Hikes [CBS5], via SFist

With the UC Board of Regents threatening to cut enrollment without more funding from the state and a recent phenomenon of beginning sentences with “With the economy as it is … ” it seems that Berkeley thinks it’s finally time to tell us what everybody already knows: the economy is failing, nobody has any money and we’re all screwed. Surprise!

Looming state budget shortfalls, declining endowments and tuition increases, oh my! Sponsored by the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, a symposium will be held this Tuesday to discuss the economic fate of the UC system and do what Berkeley does best: hold open forums for discourse on important controversial topics. Hopefully, though, this one will actually help solve the problem and not just provide a safe space for letting off steam.

In attendance will be Chancellor Robert Birgeneau, Dean of the UC Berkeley School of Law, Christopher F. Edley, Jr., President of the UC, Mark Yudof and Berkeley Economics teacher and recently-named chair of the White House Council of Economic Advisers, Christina Romer. It’s gonna take a lot more than a metaphorical Band-Aid in the form of a symposium to heal this financial wound, but hey, it’s a start.

WHAT: Panel of UC and UCB professors and leaders to discuss the future of higher education and it’s current economic uh-oh’s, forum-style.

WHEN: Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2008, from 5:30 to 7 p.m.

WHERE: Pauley Ballroom

WHO: People who know stuff. (See above.)

Image Source: Rosemobile under Creative Commons
All-Star Panel of University Leaders to Discuss Future of Public Higher Education [UC Newsroom]

Zut alors! Even the French are feeling the sting of the declining economy and slim trans-Atlantic wallets. With an average of two cafes closing everyday, France shows that the U.S. isn’t the only one sweating finances.

Want more numbers? In 1960, France teemed with 200,000 cafes. Compare that to today’s less-than 41,500–and diminishing. Merde, indeed.

Small businesses are suffering, but the shrinking numbers also show a culture at risk. What is the Frenchman without his beret, baguette, cafe and cigarette? (Oh, and wine and cheese and an official Federation of Cafes, Brasseries and Discotheques.) Not much, apparently:

The cafe, (Daniel Perrey, owner of the Cafe du Crucifix) said, is a kind of public living room, especially in small towns and cities, and it is suffering as habits and laws change.

“We need the cafe to have an equilibrium between the village and the world outside,” Mr. Perrey said. “Without the cafe, you lose the conviviality. You lose your mates. Business agreements are made behind the zinc of the bar.’

Well, there goes their joie de vivre. Not only are their cafes closing, but soon the French won’t even be able to smoke with their cafes au lait. Quel horreur!

Image Source: akahodag under Creative Commons
Across France, Cafe Owners Are Suffering [NY Times]
via Eater SF
Earlier: ‘Rambo’ General Becomes ‘Dancing Queen’