It seems that the Task Force on Exams (which has a pretty badass name, considering) as well as the Academic Senate came to the agreement that we all needed a bit more time to study before finals. As a result, the last day of instruction will take place on Dec. 4 rather than Dec. 9, giving a full week of study time before the first finals begin on Dec. 12.

Well, we guess it was the least they could do, after Birgeneau announced the libraries will no longer be open 24 hours during finals week.

Image Source: blockpartypress under Creative Commons
CHANGES TO FALL 2009 ACADEMIC CALENDAR [CALmessages] (requires Calnet login)
The Return of Dead Week [UCB Livejournal]

This is the borderline existential dilemma posed by CampusMunch, a new service operated by two entrepreneurial seniors. They’ll deliver food from a few Asian Ghet–er, Durant Food Court (we have got to stop doing that … ) staples, in addition to several others, including Northside pilgrimage-worthy Cheeseboard. Of course, you can order online, but make no mistake–you still have to answer the door.

Campus Much [YouTube]
Service Delivers Local Eats to Students [Daily Cal]

The annual naked run through the library makes UCLA’s Undie Run look about as radical as wearing neon colors and making obscure references to ninjas. So next year, instead of going on Facebook for the 100th time or watching reruns of The Simpsons to liberate your mind from finals, why not liberate your body from its material bonds–or just be a creeper and watch the parade of nudity, like us. We’re not judging, either way.

Cal Streakers Finals Week-Fall 2008 [YouTube]

We know you don’t want to think about it yet, but after Thanksgiving, we’re all going to hell in a handbasket. Just a week and smidge and then finals come to attack our sanity and happiness.

First, don’t panic–we’ve got you covered. Here’s a compacted version of some professor-approved tips.

* Go to all of your remaining classes.
* Do the important reading–don’t try to play catch-up on texts the professor never talked about much anyway.
* Focus on the big goals: your final exams or your papers.
* Hello, GSI whatsyername!
* Be healthy: sleep, don’t drink too much, try not to develop too much of a caffeine habit (too late).

The main thing is, though, do what you know will work best for you. Some may advise to keep away from busy work (like copying class notes or replaying podcasts) but if that’s what will get the material in your head, do it.

Oh, and have a happy Thanksgiving break. Ha!

Image Source: massdistraction under Creative Commons
How to Ace the Last Month of the Semester [Professors' Guide]
Earlier: Avoid Douchy Bars in the City

Unfortunately, our camera phone copped out on us, and our old YouTube video was knocked off the site due to “Terms of Service” violations, so you’ll have to rely on our word (and the totally unrelated picture of the MIT streaker above). Believe us, the smell of swingin’ body parts lingered well after the jaybirds left the labs.

Perhaps they’ll hit the stacks soon–unless they already hit it. Nevertheless, be warned. They’re known to shake their tail-feathers in the face of anyone who turns a head.

Image Source: Alex Kehr under Creative Commons and Justin Gonzaga, Daily Cal
Earlier: This Semester’s Streakers Too Much for YouTube

For the duration of finals week, every dorm-dweller’s favorite late-night hangout, Crossroads, will be open from 10 p.m. until–ohmigawd–6 in the a.m. and will be serving free yum-yums the whole time! Yes, this means free life-blood (sometimes referred to as coffee), free soda, and free muffin tops. (OK, obviously we mean the baked item, not the wardrobe malfunction here.)

There’s only one possible minor little drawback to this veritable concentration camp (too much?)–tons of other people. You’re kind of bound to run into someone you know, sit down next to them to avoid being thought anti-social, start commiserating about how much finals suck and not get any work done. Game over, dude.

Finals Hours [Cal Dining]

If you’re the sort of person who relieves stress by burying your head in the sand and pretending everything will be OK, then consider this a spoiler warning and skip to the next paragraph. For those of you ready to accept the truth, here goes nothing: Everything will not be OK. Why? Because next Monday marks the end–of instruction. This also means that next week, we’ll all be irretrievably entrenched in the throes of those torturous tortures, borne of darkness and hellfire–finals. (The horror! The horror!)

Accordingly, here are a few ideas for wholesome use of your last-weekend-of-semi-freedom that won’t leave you with an untimely hangover and undone final papers:

Berkeley Without Shadow
Friday, May 9, 5-8 p.m., Wurster Hall Lobby. Come see original photography of Downtown Berkeley by your comrades in Visual Studies 186. Facebook also says the event “includes a reception,” which could potentially be code for “free food.” Should be gritty and awesome–and free. We’re so there.

University Symphony Orchestra Concert
May 9-10, 8 p.m., Hertz Concert Hall. Hertz Hall is pretty and–from what we hear–so are the pieces by Ravel, and Strauss that the positively talent-riddled group will be performing. Students can up their cultural I.Q. for just $4.

World-Making and World Art Conference
May 9-10, 10 a.m.-5p.m., Berkeley Art Museum Theater. Stop by and listen to experts from around the world “confront theories of world-making with the diversity of world art traditions.” (Or take a nap?) Free admission, baby.

Botanical Gardens: Birding Breakfast and Rose Stroll
Saturday, May 10, 8-11a.m. and 1-3 p.m. Botanical Gardens. The early birder gets the worm on this one, so if you can drag your ass out of bed and up that hill in time, you’ll get the unique opportunity to shake your tail feather and practice your bird call with expert birders and free breakfast. Tasty. In the afternoon, show your mom how deserving you are of your tuition by taking her on a rose stroll with a real, live Berkeley horticulturalist. Both events require prior registration and the stroll’s $17 for students.

More details and links and stuff on the UCB events calendar.

Image Source: Jill Cowan
UC Berkeley [Events Calendar]
Berkeley without Shadow [Facebook]

Image Source: Christine Borden

Up through the end of finals, the staffs of the Doe and Moffitt Libraries will be on full alert for expected increases in the smuggling of foodstuffs. Students living in libraries for the last week have had to act surreptitiously to remain well-nourished.

Library staffs have been regularly patrolling these study areas with garbage bags and confiscating everything edible. These patrolmen and women are so confident in their ability to spot even a crumb that they boldly announce their presence in hideous bright lime t-shirts. Apparently, having any sort of fashion sense is not a prerequisite for being a library administrator.

The Clog strongly believes that this effort is actually a conspiracy to force students to eat at the over-priced Free Speech Movement Cafe. It is bad enough that the university profits over something it tries to halt —it is an egregious offense to charge almost seven bucks for a panini.

To successfully pull off eating in no-food-zones, the Clog recommends foods that are small, not messy, and can be easily stuffed into a backpack. Carrots, pretzels and Cliff Bars all fit this bill.

However, the Clog would be amiss not to mention our personal favorite contraband: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (on second thought, refrain from clicking the link). This delicacy takes a bit more maneuvering to eat, but it is worth the risk.

Also, as a message of encouragement to all those students bunkered down in hibernation, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And yes, that light is called the sun.

P.S. We told you not to click it, but no, you just had to go ahead and do it.

Sunday, May 20, 2007
2:27 a.m., Memorial Stadium: Suspicious circumstance regarding owner given advice on controlling an animal.

At two in the morning, this could mean only one thing: werewolves. Arm yourselves with guns and silver bullets, folks.

Monday, May 21, 2007
10:19 p.m., O’Brien Hall: Three students—two males, 21 and 20, and one female, 21—detained for rules violation and scaling building exterior.

Hmm. Were they buildering? They couldn’t possibly be that excited over the recent relase of “Spider-Man 3.”

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
3:21 p.m., Memorial Stadium: A male employee, 73, reports amplified noise, including drums.

The drums again? Let’s hope it’s not some naked weirdo with bongos. We think that already happened.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007
2:45 a.m., Rock Wall: Marijuana activity in vehicle.
8:30 a.m., Shattuck/Channing: Marijuana activity.
12:56 p.m., People’s Park: Marijuana activity.
1:00 p.m., People’s Park: Marijuana activity.
3:35 p.m., The Grove: Marijuana activity

Yes, finals are finally over. We think we’ve … uh … we mean those guys (not us) have made that clear.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: While You Were Studying…