It’s that lovely time of year again when clubs start recruitment anew and spring admits try their best to fit in as if they were actually here during the fall to figure Berkeley out. If you’re one of these numbers, here are some ways to know you still obviously look like a newbie.

Campanile 1) You call the GBC the Golden Bear Cafe.
No one has time to call it by its full name except during campus tours and orientation.

2) You go to Crossroads for every meal.
People other than freshmen eat in our esteemed dining commons, but certainly not all the time! If you must stick to school dining, explore other places around campus!

3) You take every flier on Sproul.
Either you don’t know how to say no yet, or you’re eager to find out everything that’s happening on campus. We don’t think this will last long.

4) You say hi to people on the first day of class.
Being friendly is wonderful, but most students of any other year have grown old, boring and set in their ways. They probably won’t be initiating conversations during their 8 a.m. biology lectures any time soon.

5) You’re afraid to steal food from the DC.
Crossroads can’t actually expel you for walking out with a piece of pizza without a to-go box. Heck, we’ve known people who took whole Tupperware boxes with them to fulfill all their snacking needs for later.

6) You haven’t streamed any TV yet for fear of getting caught.
We don’t advocate illegal activities, but we promise no one will knock knowingly on your door the moment you search for a streaming website, and Hulu doesn’t instantly eat up all your allotted bandwidth.

7) You pay attention to the posters in the hall explaining each acronym.
We abbreviate everything, and the difference between the ASC and ASUC does need explaining. Just memorize them quickly, and don’t let anyone catch you looking.

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We thank and commend in advance all you diligent students that (try to) hand out flyers on Sproul, but today we don’t have all nice things to say about your little squares of paper. If you’re only doing it because your respective club is forcing you to, even though you hate approaching apathetic fellow students, you just might be interested in this.

Sproul

A new phone application is now available called Campus Quad, which updates you on events in and around Berkeley. It lets you browse through a live feed of current events, telling you all the ‘what,’ ‘who,’ ‘when’ and ‘wheres’ you need to attend. Groups can go on themselves and add their own events too. It basically tells you everything you need to know to keep up to date with the latest happenings — without the crinkle and hassle of paper.

Flyers

Physical flyers often just get tossed out, scattered on the ground, or used as scratch paper to write down hasty to-do lists that will never get done. Not only would this digital route to publicity be saving trees (don’t worry, we’re not advocating the saving of cardinals), it would eliminate some of read more »


First, we’d like to premise this by saying that we do not condone binge drinking (at least binge drinking often) or underage drinking. Second, if you don’t like alcohol (you’re not seeing the light), you can always try this with juice, soda—hell, even water.School starts tomorrow and if you’re like any of us here at The Daily Clog, we like to observe the happenings and goings-on around the campus for the first couple of weeks. (Don’t forget to sign up to win a messenger bag, You’ll be the coolest kid in school other than D-Jax).So we’re going to take everything we love (and hate) about the start of school and make into our very own drinking game. And we know that alcohol isn’t allowed on campus. You’re college kids. You’re innovative. Think of something (there’s always juice … of the jungle variety).On with the game …12) Someone invites you to their BBQ, rush event, poker night, video game night, etc. etc. etc.—drink.11) You see someone flyering on Sproul Plaza, Lower Sproul Plaza, WTF, anywhere on campus—drink once.10) You see someone actually taking one of those flyers—drink once. If you think that person is a freshman, drink twice.9) You see someone flyering against flyering. Give that person your drink—they deserve it.8) You see Beetle at the Berkeley College Republicans table on Sproul Plaza—take HIS drink.7) You see a protest on campus—drink as many times as there are people at the protest. This may sound like a lot, but it ain’t the 1960s especially-in-terms-of-money, so this will not kill you.6) You see a Treewok—drink twice, one for the Treewok and one for the tree that said Treewok is trying to save. If you don’t know what the Treewoks are, just type Oakgate into our nice little search feature 5) For every time you see a freshman lost in Dwinelle Hall, drink once.4) If you are one of Ilana Nankin’s Facebook friends, buy her a drink and then pay for her ambulance. She’s going to need it ’cause that’s a lot of friends.3) You see a homeless person—drink and then give that guy some of your drink and then give him that quarter in your pocket that you were saving for your laundry.2) You see a relatively hot person—finish your drink. It doesn’t happen often here.1) If you’re a freshman, finish your (non-alcoholic) drink. All of it—now! You’re the one who wanted to go to college!