Who doesn’t love Cal football? In addition to the brilliant athletes winning on the field, our football games feature a wide variety of really interesting fans. Here is a list of just five of those people:

The Enforcer

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The Enforcer doesn’t go to the football game for kicks and giggles. He has an important job to do: to make sure that no one is wearing red. Or sitting down. He spends the game not watching the game, but searching the aisles for violators of the Bear Code. Once he finds those people, he uses his peer pressure taser to shame the offending party into submission. He goes to bed each night knowing that football games are a little more school spirited as a result of his actions. To all the Enforcers out there, we salute you.

The Troll/Freshman/Schmuck/Attention Whore

The Enforcer’s nemesis, the Troll/Freshman/Schmuck/Attention Whore is a hallmark of stupidity and381481692_9f7851e393_z provocation. Something about not wearing red just seems incredibly difficult for this person. Or maybe he/she simply enjoys five thousand people screaming at them to not sit during the game. Either way, there’s always at least one at each game.

The Girl Who’s There Just For the Pictures

Now, this kind of behavior can be found in men, but a LOT more with women. You know the type. These ladies have no interest in football, but are there solely as an opportunity to flaunt their duck face. They take literally dozens of pictures. And then there’s the ridiculous amount of make-up. Poor Oskie. We would put her picture here, but that’s just what she wants.

The Guy Who Knows Everyone On The Team

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Just to be clear, he doesn’t. He just acts like he does because he lives in a deluded world. You can catch him shouting congratulations to Keenan after a good run, or yelling his praise to Marc for a solid tackle. He probably even believes he’s on the team. He is easy to spot — just look for a douchebag.

The Angry Guy

This young man is passionate about football.1546923312_5d25fc857e_q How passionate? Blood boiling, spittle flying, arms flapping passionate. He spends the entire game coming up with new ways to curse the other team, which he hates more than anything else on the planet. Give this guy a wide berth every time the other team scores. Or he might punch you in the face.

Image source: Paul Keller, armisteadbookeraye_shamus and chexed under Creative Commons.


UCB recently settled a lawsuit with our hillside football fans.

The fans filed a suit with the university when they realized that the proposed plan of the new stadium threatened their nosebleed section seating.

The settlement requires that the university “consult(s) with the plaintiffs before altering the eastern side”. It does not guarantee that dwellers of Tightwad Hill get to keep their free seats. In other words: there might be a mumbled conversation on the matter over a cup of coffee and donuts, but try not to hold your breath. read more »