For simplicity’s sake, we’ll assume you all have the option of spending next Saturday with that special someone who brings out your embarrassing tendency to fart uncontrollably during lecture. Note that we could have phrased it to assume you’re not sad, sexless sacks of students, but we didn’t!

In either case, there are plenty of ways to celebrate that universally panned holiday of lusty love. Check it:

*UC Choral Ensembles is selling singing candygrams for a fistful of dollars. What better way to admit your adoration for your roommate/professor/boss/person who is all three? Candygram for Mongo!

*The Hearst Museum is having a—and we quote—massive jewelry sale. Get 10-ton gold rings for your sweetheart while precious metal reserves last!

*UC Berkeley students get free admission to a symposium on the healing function of love. Not included: tickets to the annual rhythmic ceremonial ritual whereby you travel back in time to watch your parents fall in love.

*Valentine’s Concert put on by the music department at Hertz Hall. That’s the power of love.

*For the youngins: high tea at the botanical garden! Awww.

*Take the Daily Cal’s anonymous sex-themed survey. Results will be published in next Friday’s issue.

Have any events we missed? Comment the love.

EDIT: Fixed for accuracy.

Image Source: corazón girl under Creative Commons, modified by Evante Garza-Licudine