Here are upcoming important dates. Mark your calenders, lest you face the following dire consequences.

Change Grade Option to Pass/Not Pass – Friday, Oct. 31: You get “D’s” in all your classes, drop out of UC Berkeley, become embarrassed to tell your parents so you set up camp in People’s Park, contract gum disease and eventually die. Moral: Save yourself a “D” grade and brush your teeth.

Daylight Savings Time Ends – Sunday, Nov. 2: You show up to the wrong class Monday morning, find yourself taking a midterm in Chinese, get up to turn in a blank midterm, trip over a backpack, land on your upright-facing pen, stab yourself in the eye and eventually die. Moral: “Fall back.”  This applies to both your clock and your face-planting direction.

Election Day – Tuesday, Nov. 4: The wrong president takes office and you find yourself drafted for the military, deported to your mother country or shot off into outer space depending on your ethnic background and eventually die. Moral: Just vote.

Academic and Administrative Holiday – Tuesday, Nov. 11: OK, you really weren’t going to class anyway. Go have fun. Moral: Don’t steal your dad’s 1961 Ferrari 250 GT.

Image Source: *SMILING PUG* under Creative Commons