Thank God we don’t live in Michigan.

Hard liquor

Starting Nov. 1, the state will require beer retailers to attach a tag to each keg with the buyer’s name, address, phone number and driver’s license number. The purchaser is also mandated to put down a $30 deposit per keg, which won’t be reimbursed if the shell is returned sans tag. Tag-removers may be charged with a misdemeanor and could be fined $500 and spend up to 93 days in jail. (Ye be warned.)

The frats at Michigan State are probably flipping a cow right now. read more »


Not content with Michael Moore and Barry Sanders, people representing the greedy state of Michigan (or rather the University of Michigan, but whatever) are trying to steal our man. That’s right. Those damned Mitten-Staters are clamoring for Tedford.One dastardly Michigan lover sent out a lengthy plea “in which he refers to Teddy as an ‘Ass-Kicking Savior”. Nerve-rackingly enough, the post got mentioned in Dan Shanoff’s super sports blog.Here’s our response to this foolishness:Dear Michigan,We understand that the past couple weeks have been, ahem, trying for you. You guys have suffered some really tough losses recently. We feel for ya. Really, we do.But that gives you no right. Not this early in the season, dammit. As your evil blog boy pointed out, Cal football had an extended period of suck. Did we start bitching and moaning for another coach after the second game? Well, actually, it’s hard to remember that far back because we’re currently distracted. “Watching the YouTube clip of the Appalachian State field goal block” can certainly divert one’s attention. But we probably didn’t pull a knee-jerk coach poach. And we’re damned sure that you shouldn’t.Besides, it’s most likely a lost cause. Ted’s happy here. He’s doesn’t have to do things like living inside an eviscerated caribou as a means of surviving February (that’s a common thing up there, right?). Life is good for our ass-kicking savior. We’re sure he enjoys the California weather. We’re confident he likes the cosmopolitan Bay Area scene. And yes, he probably loves losing to Pete “Gap catalogue model” Carroll every year. Oh wait. Never mind, scratch that last one.Anyway, Ted wants no part of your program or your region. In the unlikely event that he does depart for the icier pastures of Canada, Jr., it will only be indicative of early onset senility. Under those circumstances, the man shouldn’t be coaching or operating heavy machinery for that matter.Oh, and “according to Wikipedia,” (Or science—one of the two at least), a wolverine is a member of the weasel family. How fitting. And read this excerpt:bq. There is at least one published account of a 27-pound wolverine’s attempt to steal a kill from a much larger predator—namely, a black bear (adult males weighing 400 to 500 pounds). Unfortunately for the mustelid, the bear won what was ultimately a fatal contest, crushing the wolverine’s skull.That’s right, you contemptible, mustelids. Don’t think we won’t come up there and deliver a metaphorical skull crushing to your team. Yes, the game isn’t scheduled. But in a world where Appalachian State can beat a top 5 squad, crazy things are possible. Oh, what team did they best again? Eh, it’ll come to us. We can just watch that clip again. For now, hands off our man!Love,CalImage Source: Daily Cal