For a supposedly poor public school, Cal does tend to throw a lot of moneyDykes Come(s) To Berkeley around at athletics. Over $300 million went into the anticlimactic opening of the Memorial Stadium – an opening that featured a lazy Cal team that lost to an almost-as-pitiful Nevada team. Eight losses and two 40-point blowouts later, athletic director Sandy Barbour decided to rip up ex-head coach Jeff Tedford’s contract – despite the three years and almost $7 million remaining on it. And a little more than two weeks after the end of the teddy bear reign, Barbour has decided to throw the collective tuition of the entire freshman class at a new coach.

Who’s the new guy, you all ask? We guarantee you wouldn’t guess his name – Sonny Dykes. Let that sink in for just a second. The Chicago Bears famously claimed in 2007 that they couldn’t hope to win the Super Bowl with a coach named “Lovie” Smith, so you can imagine how the Cal football team is going to react to the announcement. Not that they’ll all be around to hear it – Keenan Allen, the best receiver in Cal history, declared that he’s bolting for the NFL when he heard the name.

On the bright side, the promising recruit Zach Kline will be taking over for his disappointing Zach counterpart at quarterback next season. And Dykes – he should really have a laugh track ready at his introductory press conference tomorrow – ran an offense at Louisiana Tech that averaged the same number of points that it took three games for Tedford’s gang to get.

Since the word on the street is that Chancellor-designate Dirks has shaved his trademark unibrow upon his appointment, maybe we might see Dykes pull off some of the same magic by tomorrow.

Image source: Westside Shooter under Creative Commons


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Remember this man? It was just two weeks ago we were joking about Chancellor-Elect Nicholas Dirks’ beastly brow. We predicted that once he took office he would be called “The Brow.” Just look at him, posing effortlessly in this soft-featured scenery. Doesn’t his face just say, “If I don’t get you, my unibrow will?” In a mere moment, these hopes were shattered, cause … read more »