WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.

Puerto Rico’s El Nuevo Dia features the dance of the sperm children. In English, the caption reads: “Youths dramatize in front of the Capitol personifying sperm that were painted in colors.” This photo seems to modernize the Monty Python song “Every Sperm Is Sacred.” We’re not so sure, however, it was meant to be as funny as the original–the spermies were serious in protesting against same-sex marriage.

Butts charged with stealing toilet paper: Groan. You know somewhere out there a bunch of reporters and editors are high-fiving each other over this witty headline.

Job seeker rejected due to “racist dog”: A job applicant said his dog was racist and would bite non-white people. Didn’t we see this on “Curb Your Enthusiasm”?

bq. Wanda: Did you train it to hate black people?
Larry: No, I didn’t train it to hate black people.
Wanda: Has it barked at any white people?
Cheryl: No, he’s, he’s…
Wanda: Exactly. Your dog is racist.
Larry: Sheriff’s racist?
Wanda: Sheriff? That’s a perfect name for a racist dog

Women Prefer Men Who Look Like Dad: Especially when the dad is fictional pedophile Humbert Humbert. Or if daddy read “Lolita” aloud to the woman when she was a child.

Judge Suing Dry Cleaner Cries Over Pants: Guess he doesn’t wear the pants in the courtroom now. We mean, he certainly wasn’t in control the other day:

bq. A judge had to leave the courtroom with tears running down his face Tuesday after recalling the lost pair of trousers that led to his $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner.

Wow. $54 million. Those pants must have been made out of diamonds.