WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.

Computer program can learn baby talk: A computer program shows how babies learn to speak by decoding sounds from different languages. Previously, the story states, theories held that babies knew all the sounds from all languages of the globe. If that were true, how come the Clog babies didn’t know Afrikaans upon birth, eh? But now we know that’s not necessarily true. Next step: make babies into computers. Now that’d be cool.

But if that doesn’t work, we could always just make babies suck on lemons. And then laugh at them (apparently that’s the essence of college humor).

Can computers speak that language? We didn’t think so.

Maid jailed for serving up urine: In Hong Kong, a maid has been arrested on a charge of “administering poison or other destructive or noxious substance with intent to injure” to her employer. Is pee really that serious? If urine is so damn destructive, then why did Kevin Costner drink his own in “Waterworld”? Either way, that’s one helluva way to resign.

China busts seller of 18,000 fake Viagra pills: Fake Viagra pills? Heavens forbid we deprive the Chinese population of old-man erections! The Clog thinks this was secretly a ploy to further enforce the one-child policy. If you can’t get it up, you can’t pop more out. For shame.

Oscar the Cat Predicts Patients’ Deaths: We thought we had to worry about only black cats crossing our paths, but apparently it’s just Oscar, the kitty of death, we have to fret. Whenever Oscar shows up, people die—and it’s happened 25 times already. The nursing home thinks he can sniff out death. We think they should check into his medical history. Sounds like SARS to us.