segwayAfter discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

Oh, the Segway. Once it was touted as an invention to revolutionize our lives. Now it seems clear that’s not the case, unless your life involves a lot of postal worker or lazier-than-average tourism.

We’ve still remained rather transfixed by the strange contraptions, and were taken aback when we learned that the life of Segway’s owner had been taken away by one of the nefarious machines. read more »


Bu-but I dun wanna live in a box!So we all know that the fate of the suckers in the social sciences is to live in a cardboard box and frequent the local coffee shop, looking glum and gaunt, while nursing a double shot of espresso and philosophizing with a fellow box-dweller about Kierkegaard. But the other day, we heard a joke that cut straight to our feeble academic hearts: Q: “What’s the difference between a Segway and a humanities major?” A: “At least a Segway is useful.”

We’re a little desensitized to the whole buzz-killing, “What are you gonna do when you graduate?” question, and the attack on our future domicile is just absurd (We mean, we’ll be couch surfing or in a nice sleeping bag along the sidewalk, at least), but being compared—topped, rather—by the transportation industry’s equivalent of orthopedic shoes is just too much. read more »