Never has a mag been fitter–
And no, we’re not being bitter.
Now Squelch has a blog

Out of Africa video

First Men in the Moon ipod

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They call it The Sqlog.
But when will they get a twitter?

The Sqlog [Website

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So what was up with those weirdos on Sproul today with the blue recycling bins? Oh, that’s SQUELCH!–just smile and move along, folks. Earlier today party chair Andy Morris e-mailed us a schedule of events for Upper Sproul Plaza:

read more »

Spring Break is over, but the ASUC parties are just getting started with their full-scale campaigning.  As some dude we overheard today aptly put it to a presumably freshmanic companion, “You haven’t seen anything yet. Today is just day one.” Yikes? read more »

Sunday Shout-Out picks out the week’s stories that simply slipped our minds.

*It’s been burning on Angel Island since 9 p.m. Yikes.  SFist has already posted views of it from different parts of the bay. We sincerely hope all the campers were able to G.T.F.O. in time. Apparently they were moved to Tiburon?

*Not to make light of a serious subject, but speaking of “flaming,” the SFBG Music Blog just posted its fourth installment of the Gayest. Videos. Ever. Trust us, they’re pure dance-worthy excellence.

*A new issue of The Heuristic Squelch came out this week. Get the PDF version here, if you want to save paper. Or if you’re fundamentally against accepting things from people on Upper Sproul Plaza.

*Aw, man … And just when we thought Gavin Newsom was like, the hottest thing alive, he has to go all conservative on our asses. Tisk, tisk.

Billy Joel We Didn’t Start The Fire [YouTube]
Earlier: Sunday Shout-Out: Make Your Voice Heard

The new Heuristic Squelch is out this week, and the comedic team will pass out issues from chair central near Sather Gate. We feel especially inclined to mention this after one Squelch-er told us we had a nice dress. That’s how it’s done.

Our favorite part of the issue has to be the back cover, which spoofs the silly, embarrassing banners outside of Dwinelle Hall. Good game. And, in light of recent silence on the tree-front, we’d also recommend one of the news flashes, “Protestors Plan Tree-Sitters Sit”:

“First the University wanted to remove trees, so we had to protest by sitting in trees. Now the University wants to remove tree-sitters, so we have to protest by sitting on the tree-sitters already in the trees. It’s the next logical progression,” said Save The Oaks organizer Robert Larson, struggling to balance atop a fat man.

Jeez, don’t give them any more ideas.

Wizard of Oswald Vol. 17 Issue 5 [Squelch]

ASUC candidates have infiltrated Upper Sproul Plaza, and now the real go-getters are posting their videos on YouTube.

SQULECH! seems to have a good grasp of the power of video: no special effects (or even moving cameras), just pure comedy and a dash of politics rhetoric. Above, Senate candidate John Moghtader promises you won’t have to wait “schlong” for change.

P.S. Speaking of schlongs, did SQUELCH! do the requisite vibrator races yet? They smoked out Sproul, but it’s not campaign season until you see cheap buzzing sex toys slide down a homemade ramp.

John Moghtader SQUELCH! Campaign Video [YouTube]

OK, we know ASUC candidates will do pretty much anything to grab another vote, but yesterday these guys from SQUELCH gave a whole new meaning to the term “low blow.” Situated in such a way as to be dangerously close to blocking traffic through Sather Gate, the two men sat on Upper Sproul Plaza, calm as caterpillars, smoked hookah in an effort to “smoke out partisan politics,” and invited others to join the fun. They also had a box of Krispy Kreme donuts, but we’re not sure if those were for sharing, too.

Image Source: Jill Cowan
Earlier: The Daily Californian Elections Circus … er, Forum

There’s a myth floating around: To get the most out of ASUC Senate elections, you need to vote for “the right people.” The Clog disagrees. To get the most out of elections, we recommend attending as many campaign kick-off events as possible. There, potential student politicians live up to the promise of free food. You better savor it, too, ’cause you know they probably won’t live up to their real promises!

Join presidential hopeful Curtis Lee for cheesy sticks Wednesday at 6 p.m. in 126 Barrows, or find out who Yishi Zuo is at his Wednesday 10-11 p.m. campaign kick-off. Zuo will have “plenty of food and drinks as well as sign in sheets in case you would like to help with my campaign.” Sure thing, Yishi. But if cheesy sticks and sign-in sheets don’t whet your appetite, don’t fret. Just do a Facebook search and pick from a diverse set of offerings.

In addition to campaign kick-off parties, however, there’s YouTube. From video blogs to campaign trailers, ASUC hopefuls utilize every college kid’s favorite procrastination tool to get their name out there. read more »

Ahh, SQUELCH! You put out a funny magazine, you mock the Daily Cal every so often (yes, we did get a good laugh out of that). You even have a political party that’s silly and yet totally serious.

It makes sense, then, that these guys would make the most out of their time in a past Daily Cal candidates’ forum for the ASUC elections. We wish we could have live-blogged this.

Out of all their wacky candidates, we favor the dude in the suit, especially when he takes a jab at the bigger parties. Explaining why he hasn’t won yet, he says that he has “never had enough chalk or paper to win successfully.”

We also like the cat-man, but you need to give him time to grow on you. Anyone that committed to their character should get some props.

Watch the vid, and you’ll understand, among other things, why it’s important to have a Daily Cal crossword and why we must represent/keep it real.

Squelch! Party messes with candidates forum [YouTube]

The best (or in most cases, worst) of Berkeley’s blogosphere.

* The Daily Squelch

We love The Heuristic Squelch. They are all funny people. We’re excited about their latest adventure, but it still needs a little more tweaking.

* UC Berkeley LiveJournal Community

When faced with the ultimate decision of Barack versus Hilary, the students choose … Hilarack. Sharpton. Neither.

* Beetle Beat

Beetle chastises ASUC senators for being kinda high and mighty and for not knowing the bylaws as well as he does. We’re beginning to think his candidacy wasn’t such a joke after all.

* Facebook

Remember when we harped on the class of 2011? Well, they’re at it again, except this time they’re making a popular clique. Has anybody told them this is nearly impossible in a school this size? Or that their antics are, like, so high school?

* Bears Necessity

The video’s old news by now, but thanks anyway, BN. We’re not so sure he understands this video (unlike Beetle’s candidacy) is, in fact, a joke.