The new Heuristic Squelch is out this week, and the comedic team will pass out issues from chair central near Sather Gate. We feel especially inclined to mention this after one Squelch-er told us we had a nice dress. That’s how it’s done.
Our favorite part of the issue has to be the back cover, which spoofs the silly, embarrassing banners outside of Dwinelle Hall. Good game. And, in light of recent silence on the tree-front, we’d also recommend one of the news flashes, “Protestors Plan Tree-Sitters Sit”:
“First the University wanted to remove trees, so we had to protest by sitting in trees. Now the University wants to remove tree-sitters, so we have to protest by sitting on the tree-sitters already in the trees. It’s the next logical progression,” said Save The Oaks organizer Robert Larson, struggling to balance atop a fat man.
ASUC candidates have infiltrated Upper Sproul Plaza, and now the real go-getters are posting their videos on YouTube.
SQULECH! seems to have a good grasp of the power of video: no special effects (or even moving cameras), just pure comedy and a dash of politics rhetoric. Above, Senate candidate John Moghtader promises you won’t have to wait “schlong” for change.
P.S. Speaking of schlongs, did SQUELCH! do the requisite vibrator races yet? They smoked out Sproul, but it’s not campaign season until you see cheap buzzing sex toys slide down a homemade ramp.
Posted by Jill Cowan on Saturday, April 05, 2008 01:59 pm
OK, we know ASUC candidates will do pretty much anything to grab another vote, but yesterday these guys from SQUELCH gave a whole new meaning to the term “low blow.” Situated in such a way as to be dangerously close to blocking traffic through Sather Gate, the two men sat on Upper Sproul Plaza, calm as caterpillars, smoked hookah in an effort to “smoke out partisan politics,” and invited others to join the fun. They also had a box of Krispy Kreme donuts, but we’re not sure if those were for sharing, too.
Posted by Patrici Flores on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 09:49 pm
There’s a myth floating around: To get the most out of ASUC Senate elections, you need to vote for “the right people.” The Clog disagrees. To get the most out of elections, we recommend attending as many campaign kick-off events as possible. There, potential student politicians live up to the promise of free food. You better savor it, too, ’cause you know they probably won’t live up to their real promises!
Join presidential hopeful Curtis Lee for cheesy sticks Wednesday at 6 p.m. in 126 Barrows, or find out who Yishi Zuo is at his Wednesday 10-11 p.m. campaign kick-off. Zuo will have “plenty of food and drinks as well as sign in sheets in case you would like to help with my campaign.” Sure thing, Yishi. But if cheesy sticks and sign-in sheets don’t whet your appetite, don’t fret. Just do a Facebook search and pick from a diverse set of offerings.
In addition to campaign kick-off parties, however, there’s YouTube. From video blogs to campaign trailers, ASUC hopefuls utilize every college kid’s favorite procrastination tool to get their name out there. read more »
Posted by Christine Borden on Saturday, August 11, 2007 09:16 pm
Ahh, SQUELCH! You put out a funny magazine, you mock the Daily Cal every so often (yes, we did get a good laugh out of that). You even have a political party that’s silly and yet totally serious.
It makes sense, then, that these guys would make the most out of their time in a past Daily Cal candidates’ forum for the ASUC elections. We wish we could have live-blogged this.
Out of all their wacky candidates, we favor the dude in the suit, especially when he takes a jab at the bigger parties. Explaining why he hasn’t won yet, he says that he has “never had enough chalk or paper to win successfully.”
We also like the cat-man, but you need to give him time to grow on you. Anyone that committed to their character should get some props.
Watch the vid, and you’ll understand, among other things, why it’s important to have a Daily Cal crossword and why we must represent/keep it real.
Squelch! Party messes with candidates forum [YouTube]
Beetle chastises ASUC senators for being kinda high and mighty and for not knowing the bylaws as well as he does. We’re beginning to think his candidacy wasn’t such a joke after all.
Remember when we harped on the class of 2011? Well, they’re at it again, except this time they’re making a popular clique. Has anybody told them this is nearly impossible in a school this size? Or that their antics are, like, so high school?
* Bears Necessity
The video’s old news by now, but thanks anyway, BN. We’re not so sure he understands this video (unlike Beetle’s candidacy) is, in fact, a joke.
The Elections Council ran the tabulation for the ASUC elections yesterday at 6:30 p.m. and released the preliminary results.
According to the initial tabulation, the winners are:
* President: Van Nguyen of CalSERVE
* Executive Vice President: Taylor Allbright of CalSERVE
* External Affairs Vice President: Danny Montes of CalSERVE
* Academic Affairs Vice President: Curtis Lee of Student Action
* Student Advocate: Ajay Krishnamurthy, independent
For the senate, Student Action won 10 seats, CalSERVE won six, SQUELCH! won one and Berkeley College Republicans won one. Two independents also won seats, with Nadir Shams receiving the most votes. Winne Kuo of APPLE Engineering and Danielle Duong of CalSERVE were also a part of the top three for senate.
Of the referenda and amendments, only the Green Initiative Fund and Line of Succession passed.
The results are not final, however. The Judicial Council will verify the tabulation and hear censure cases before finalizing the results.
The CalSERVE candidates and Krishnamurthy, unless tabulation went horribly wrong, have secured their spots. Curtis Lee, on the other hand, is currently facing eight potential censures. If he receives at least five, he will be disqualified. The candidate who earned the second-most votes would then take his place (if, of course, there’s no appeal).
Shams is also facing a massive amount of potential censures–up to 20. Again, if he receives at least five he too will be disqualified.
We introduced you to the ASUC presidential hopefuls of 2007. There were thousands of Facebook friends, that hot gay guy and then the other dude who’s “not a douchebag.” This is ASUC at its finest, folks.
We hope you’re ready for the rest of the executive slate. These people are going to bombard you with flyers and chalk your neighborhoods. You might as well know their names (and then stalk them on Facebook). Perhaps you’ll even add Ilana Nankin as your friend.
Let’s start with the powerhouse party Student Action. You’ll be seeing these candidates’ heads on huge posters everywhere post-Spring Break. Oh God, we can’t wait.
* Presidential Candidate: Ilana Nankin, current Student Action senator
* Executive Vice Presidential Candidate: Eunice Moon, current Student Action senator
* Academic Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: Curtis Lee, current Student Action senator
* External Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: Dwight Asuncion, current APPLE Engineering senator
Then there’s CalSERVE, which announced its executive slate way in advance. DONE. Wait–sorry, wrong party slogan.
* Presidential Candidate: Van Nguyen, current CalSERVE senator
* Executive Vice Presidential Candidate: Taylor Allbright, current CalSERVE senator
* Academic Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: Caro Jauregui, current CalSERVE senator
* External Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: Danny Montes, CalSERVE issues coordinator
SQUELCH! comes next, and its slate features a Daily Cal columnist. We swear we’re completely unbiased. But if he, too, took his clothes off for a photoshoot…then we might bend the rules.
* Presidential Candidate: Joe Rothberg, SQUELCH! party member
* Executive Vice Presidential Candidate: David Wasserman, current SQUELCH! senator
* Academic Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: John O’Connor, SQUELCH! party co-signatory
* External Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: John Waste, SQUELCH! party member
Finally, we’ve got fellow blogger Beetle in a category all of his own. He’s going to put the “slay” in executive slate. Just you wait and see.
* Presidential Candidate: Justin Azadivar
* Executive Vice Presidential Candidate: Justin Azadivar
* Academic Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: Justin Azadivar
* External Affairs Vice Presidential Candidate: Justin Azadivar
Welcome to the jungle of student politics. The Clog’s got your fun and games.
Parties Put Forth Slates for Upcoming ASUC Elections [Daily Cal]
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The new Heuristic Squelch is out this week, and the comedic team will pass out issues from chair central near Sather Gate. We feel especially inclined to mention this after one Squelch-er told us we had a nice dress. That’s how it’s done.
There’s a myth floating around: To get the most out of ASUC Senate elections, you need to vote for “the right people.” The Clog disagrees. To get the most out of elections, we recommend attending as many campaign kick-off events as possible. There, potential student politicians live up to the promise of free food. You better savor it, too, ’cause you know they probably won’t live up to their real promises!
The Elections Council ran the tabulation for the ASUC elections yesterday at 6:30 p.m. and released the preliminary results.