As the beginning to each holiday season starts to set in, Cal students tend to zoom intoWhat Cal Students Should Be Thankful For overdrive. We fantasize about winter break, especially after Thanksgiving has come and gone. In case you didn’t take a couple of seconds to say your thank-yous this past week, there’s still time! Marvel at all the reasons that being at Berkeley should make you thankful:

1)      You’re still a Cal student… hopefully! That’s something to be proud of, right? After all, you can’t really get higher than #1 for a public school.

2)      Finals are still two whole weeks away. That gives us all extra time to procrastinate on studying, because that’s no way to spend dead week! Sure, you may have had some homework to do over the holidays, but that has to be better than those college applications you were frantically filling out a year or two ago.

3)      Jeff Tedford is finally getting yanked after yet another dismal 3-9 season for the men’s football team. That means you only have to wait 10 more months for a well-coached football team!

4)      There have been less than 10 days that have had more than 0.10 inches of rain so far this school year. Considering that November is the fifth wettest month, it’s not saying much, but enjoy the good weather before February rolls around!

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The end of November is a busy time for students. Not only are we rushing to write papers that will be due the Monday after Thanksgiving vacation because Cal personally hates every single one of us, but Tele-BEARS Phase II also began last Tuesday. Making last-minute appointments to your academic adviser and creating your 130th mock-up schedule on Ninja Courses while attempting to catch-up on schoolwork before dead week hits can be, of course, stressful.

We at the Clog decided to translate our pain into images and showcase a common tale that most Cal students can relate to. We spiced up our visuals with a free iPhone app called Manga-Camera that transforms the most mundane pictures of your pets and food into exciting Dragon Ball Z-style showdowns. Why make your photos into boring, contemplative art pieces with a sepia filter, when you can surround yourself with fiery explosions of death instead? In any case, here is our incredibly accurate portrayal of the typical Tele-bears process:


What a productive day it has been


What time is it ... ?



The Oski Bear’s evil twin has resurfaced again! We know we’ve given you some combat tactics before, but you can never be too prepared! The beauty of being at a large university on the semester system is that we get to figure out classes for next semester while we’re not even halfway into this one. While you’re

10-11 - How To - Defeat the Tele-Bear (1)studying for your chemistry midterm coming up in a week, you can go ahead and pick out which torturous chemistry series you’ll endure for the following five months of your life. Don’t give up just yet, though. Everything has weaknesses, and Tele-BEARS is hardly an exception.

Recall your history with Tele-BEARS – It’s quite useful to know what classes you have taken and what you need to do to get through your degree.

Know the rules of the fight – You have to sign up for at least 12.5 units per semester and no more than either 19.5 or 20.5 units depending on your college. In Phase One, you cap out at 10.5 – so get your ‘must-have’ classes in first. If you’re wondering what that half-unit is for: It allows you to take a P.E. class so you can explore sports, read more »


Tele-BEARS. Most of you should have shuddered at the thought of it unless you’re a chemical engineering major new to Berkeley.

Fall semester is still far from over, but Tele-BEARS demands that you sacrifice your babies now in order to determine your spring semester classes. Okay, maybe not your babies, but it’s still really annoying.

So here are some tips from the Clog to make your sacrifice a bit less painful. read more »


You should check yours before you wreck yours. Seriously, write that shiz down, because the selection of available classes is not getting any wider.

In case you haven’t quite gotten the hang of it, you can find your Phase I and Phase II times in your BearFacts under the “Registration” tab, when you click on “Tele-BEARS Appointment.” When we checked our Tele-BEARS account, the only thing that came up under the “Appointment” tab was our Phase I time, so you might want to go straight to BearFacts.

Phase I starts Oct. 18, which means it’s coming up pretty quickly. It ends Nov. 9, while Phase II starts Nov. 12. Fun times!

Image Source: joeybaltimore under Creative Commons


We’re sorry to tell you this, folks, especially during midterm season, but the Spring 2011 schedule is now available online. Feel the panic coursing through your veins. Embrace it. Stay cool.

While you’re at it, look at this in the best way possible. You’ve got a clean slate next semester, a chance to start over. Plus it’s not Tele-BEARS time yet, so you’re still in the arena of thinking about starting to think about next semester.

You probably don’t want to hear more advice from a Broadway musical, but we don’t care. So we’ll add: “don’t get hot, ’cause man you’ve got some high times ahead.”

At any rate, at least this means that we’re about a third of the way done with this semester. And that’s not something to sneeze at — unless, of course, you’re one of the millions of people who are sick and wheezing all over campus.

Image source: anna gutermuth under Creative Commons


Terminat-bear say "I'll be back ... "
Hey guess what, guys! Guess what! Give up? Do ya? Do you give up yet? OK, so we just got this e-mail (you probably got it, too, if you have a Calmail account) giving us some great news about changes to Tele-BEARS, effective for fall! Get excited because they’re totes awesome! Like, totes!!!

Alright, fine. We were kidding. The changes kind of stink. read more »

Wow, already? The spring 2009 schedule of classes is up (thanks, LiveJournal). Of course, being so early in the game, there’s not much info besides the class title and professor. Nevertheless, it’s never too early to start your scheming.

On Oct. 6, you’ll find out your Phase I allotted time on Tele-BEARS (didn’t we just drop our last class?). Phase I will start Oct. 20, with Phase II following up on Nov. 12. Scary, ain’t it?

Image Source: fuzheado under Creative Commons
Spring 2009 [Online Schedule of Classes]
via UCB LJ

If you’re still waiting for your Tele-BEARS Phase II to roll around (or are still freaking out about signing up for only eight units), you will cry for joy when you use Aman’s Interface to Berkeley’s Online Schedule. It’s easy to use, will map out your schedule and will save all those course control numbers you always lose.

1. Make Sure You Search for the Appropriate Semester Classes

Sometimes the interface is stuck on spring when you need fall. Click on “online schedule of classes,” then “fall 2008.”

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It’s that time again, that time when Tele-BEARS fucks you over no matter how early your phases start. We were surprised when the Spring 2008 class schedule came out, and now, after failing our midterms, we’re still too traumatized to find the will to carry on.

Phase I of Tele-BEARS starts Oct. 22 and ends Nov. 12. Phase II picks up Nov. 13 and ends ways away on Jan. 13. You can check out your date of doom on Bear Facts.

Mark your calendars, and either celebrate the gift of senior standing or cry yourself to sleep knowing that all your classes will be full even by the start of your Phase I. Cheer up, kid—it gets better.

Actually, that’s totally a lie.

Earlier: Spring 2008 Schedule Up (And We Are Trying Hard Not to Use Exclamation Points)

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