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After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

Breaking news everyone: the world record for greatest distance covered by a paper airplane has been SHATTERED by none other than former Cal Quarterback Joe Ayoob. We here at The Daily Clog know exactly what you’re thinking.

“There was a paper airplane record?”

“Who is Joe Ayoob?”

“Breaking news?”

All joking aside, here are the facts: read more »


Scantron testAfter discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

There’s a lot of crazy in the world: Snuggies, for one, or “Schweddy Balls”-flavored ice cream, for another. But when we read that a UC Berkeley study found that thousands of the four-and five-year old children who take California’s official test for English language proficiency (an ordeal that can last up to two hours) prior to starting kindergarten are likely to fail said test, our immediate reaction could be aptly characterized with a simple “no, duh.”

First of all, most kids that young haven’t even learned to read yet — that usually goes hand in hand with some schooling — and second of all, read more »


After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

In an effort to not piss off the earth (or as some like to call it: “save the earth”), UC Berkeley has a policy of restricting parking permits to students who live outside of the two-mile radius around the campus. This leaves many students with cars frustrated but left with three more eco-friendly choices: walk, bike or bus your arses to class.

From the looks of it, however (“it” being the frightening video above), our efforts might not be enough to keep the earth from wanting to destroy us and our vehicles.

The video — which takes place in Montreal, QC, Canada — seems to show Mother Nature fighting back against its century-old nemesis: the car. read more »


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After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

These days it’s not just budget cuts threatening the state of our, um, state. Even the ever-present possibility of earthquakes isn’t in and of itself the only danger that we face.

Nope, turns out that the San Francisco Bay Delta isn’t in the best of shape — and by that we mean it could flood. And by that we mean there’s “a 64 percent chance of a catastrophic levee failure in the delta in the next 50 years.”

Apparently said levees are not in the best of shape — unsurprisingly, given that read more »


After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

Even for those of us who place a relatively low value on our personal space, death by overcrowding sounds rather unpleasant. It’s disconcerting, then, to hear that said phenomenon might not be so farfetched — or far in the future — as we’d like to think.

According to an article authored by Malcolm Potts (of UC Berkeley’s School of Public Health) and Martha Campbell (president of Venture Strategies for Health and Development), the United Nations’ read more »


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After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

According to UC Berkeley scientists, humanity as a whole is currently earning itself one of the most f*cked-up distinctions possible: We are apparently bringing about the sixth mass extinction that there has ever been — and the only one that can be attributed to the actions of a single stupid species.

Well. Isn’t that a doozy of an accusation. The qualifier of a mass extinction is that read more »


3273854385_0d80c9a5e6As we at the Clog like to remind you on a more or less weekly basis, the world is mos def on its way out the door. Maybe it’s our rampant cynicism talking, but there’s something kind of cathartic about reconciling with inevitable catastrophe. Helps us sleep better at night.

It seems, however, that not everyone shares in this perversion. There are people wandering around out there who still think life is logical and fair. All are menaces to society, we’re sure. Oh, wait a tic — they’re right here at UC Berkeley, participating in a two-part experiment which concluded that delusion definitely abounds.

See, statistics show that about half of Americans believe global warming reports are overblown; and around a fifth of us think said reports are totally full of sh*t. There are abundantly disturbing aspects to this trend, not least of which being read more »


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After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

Guys, we know you’re all super tech-savy and you take your laptop with you wherever you go, but some new research indicates that you might want to make sure you’re putting on a desk instead of your actual lap, at least if you’re a man and you’re hoping to keep all of your man-parts in top working order.

Researchers at the State University of New York at Stony Brook say that the warmth of holding a laptop on one’s lap can overheat testicles within 15 minutes. The study did not reach conclusive results as to whether or not this has an affect on overall male reproductive health, but temperature increases took place even when participants used a pad and spread their legs apart.

So is this technology’s latest attempt to eliminate the human race? Too early to say. But it’s probably better to play it safe.

Image Source: Ed Yourdon under Creative Commons
Earlier: Pop Culture Plus Narcissism Equals Death by Unfathomable Stupidity
Laptop overheating may affect male fertility, even with a pad [LA Times]



After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

We wouldn’t be breaking any ground to point out the unholy influence that the entertainment industry holds over our day-to-day lives. It’s a phenomenon of particular frustration when considering that little things like voter turnout are overwhelmingly superseded by hype over the latest episode of Jersey Shore. Just check out Yahoo’s top searches, for crying out loud. Our country’s priorities are, shall we say, askew.

Turns out it’s not just the general public who could use a serious reality check. Good old ex-prez George W. Bush told Matt Lauer, in an interview to be aired Nov. 8 regarding his upcoming book “Decision Points,” that the “all-time low” he experienced in his presidency was when Kanye West criticized the response to Hurricane Katrina by calling Bush a racist.

What. The. F**k. read more »


4787030878_2be4d01895After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

Break out the Kleenex, amigos, because we’re hitting you with a real tear-jerker. Paul the Octopus, best known and widely celebrated for his role in bewitching predicting arbitrarily indicating the outcomes of eight matches in this year’s World Cup, died in his tank this morning of purportedly natural causes (Dutch revenge, anyone?) in Oberhausen, Germany.

He was two and a half years old, which is a pretty short lifespan for a creature that achieved such far-reaching and, if you ask us, somewhat ridiculous renown. Did the whole concept remind anyone else of the South Park episode in which Family Guy is revealed to be written by manatees? Maybe we’re just bitter; after all, what the hell have we done in the last two and a half years? You know what, give us a tank of water and two plastic boxes. We’ll make history, dammit. Or just look like giant loons.

Oh … hey there, Paul. Didn’t mean to take the spotlight off you, buddy. Rest in peace knowing you’re missed by millions — and also responsible for the Clog’s latest existential crisis.

Image Sourcec: Articulate Matter under Creative Commons
Paul the Octopus, World Cup Oracle, Dies [NPR]
Earlier: Four Loko. ‘Nuff Said


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