After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

According to Reuters, the English are some of the least attractive people on the planet—at least as measured by their 12.5 (for men) and 15 percent  (for women) acceptance rates into beautifulpeople.com, an “elite dating site” where hopeful members submit a picture to be voted on whether they’re beautiful or not. Of course, the voters were themselves inducted based on other beautiful people judging them, who were in turn inducted based on … well, you get the idea.

Fun facts: The average acceptance rate for applicants across all groups is 20 percent, while Swedish men and Norwegian women are accepted the most (65 and 76 percent, respectively). Though that’s probably not as interesting as the fact that someone took the time to make a site like this. A banner near the bottom of the page reads “Too ugly to sign up? Click here to browse BeautifulPeople as a guest.”

We just have one thing to say: What the hell, world?

Image Source: Paul Stevenson under Creative Commons
And the ugliest people are … [Reuters]
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In this time of economic turmoil, everybody seems to be looking for extra cash. And those people who happen to have enough cash are keeping quiet about it. But such is not the case in Germany.

A group of rich Germans have banded together to petition the government to charge them higher taxes, suggesting that a 5 percent “wealth tax” be implemented on the richest citizens to raise  100 billion euros (that’s $150 billion).

The group claims they have everything they need and they feel the money could be put to better use on social programs to aid in economic recovery.

Are these people for real? Somehow we don’t see this catching on over on this side of the pond. If you have everything you need, buy something you don’t need. Don’t want anymore things? Get all the stuff you have plated in gold. Just because. It’s the American way. Duh.

Surely these Germans have something else up their sleeves, something far more nefarious than helping their country through economic troubles, because who does that?

Image Source: covilha under Creative Commons
Rich Germans demand higher taxes [BBC]
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Take a long, hard look at this bird. It doesn’t look as if he or his brethren would ever do any harm to you, now does it? Think again.

Apparently, just such a jackdaw (yes, that’s what they’re called) has been terrorizing a village in England. The residents of Cromwell, Nottinghamshire have reported that a local jackdaw has gotten a bit out-of-hand.

The bird’s crimes include: taking down laundry from lines, crawling up some poor man’s trousers, turning pages of newspapers before you’re ready and similar dastardly deeds.

Residents of the town has come to believe that the jackdaw is acting alone, a lone rogue in all of bird-kind, perhaps a formerly domesticated bird that was released into the wild and is acting out. But we at the Clog have other theories. What if all the jackdaws are conspiring against us? What if the day comes that you will not be able to sit outside with a newspaper without risking full-on jackdaw assault?

Think about it.

Image Source: foxypar4 under Creative Commons
Jackdaw causes havoc in quiet Nottinghamshire village [Telegraph]
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After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on earth.

Last week, former French president Jacques Chirac was attacked by his clinically depressed Maltese poodle. Um … wow. We don’t know what’s worst here: the fact that this poodle is depressed and on meds, the fact that Chirac suffered at the hands (paws?) of said poodle or the fact that this is even a story. Are we really horrible people if we’re laughing?

Chirac is doing OK now, but the Daily Mail goes as far to say he was “savaged” by his cute and fluffy dog. We think the real victim here is the dog, who obviously has the unrealizable dream of becoming something more than just a Maltese poodle. Le sigh.

Image Source: The Chaninator under Creative Commons
Former French President Chirac hospitalised after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle [Daily Mail]
Earlier: Bush Thinks US Can Still Win in Iraq, Gets Pelted with Shoes

Zut alors! Even the French are feeling the sting of the declining economy and slim trans-Atlantic wallets. With an average of two cafes closing everyday, France shows that the U.S. isn’t the only one sweating finances.

Want more numbers? In 1960, France teemed with 200,000 cafes. Compare that to today’s less-than 41,500–and diminishing. Merde, indeed.

Small businesses are suffering, but the shrinking numbers also show a culture at risk. What is the Frenchman without his beret, baguette, cafe and cigarette? (Oh, and wine and cheese and an official Federation of Cafes, Brasseries and Discotheques.) Not much, apparently:

The cafe, (Daniel Perrey, owner of the Cafe du Crucifix) said, is a kind of public living room, especially in small towns and cities, and it is suffering as habits and laws change.

“We need the cafe to have an equilibrium between the village and the world outside,” Mr. Perrey said. “Without the cafe, you lose the conviviality. You lose your mates. Business agreements are made behind the zinc of the bar.’

Well, there goes their joie de vivre. Not only are their cafes closing, but soon the French won’t even be able to smoke with their cafes au lait. Quel horreur!

Image Source: akahodag under Creative Commons
Across France, Cafe Owners Are Suffering [NY Times]
via Eater SF
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There are only three countries in the world that have not adopted the metric system for standard use: Liberia, Burma and the United States. Yeah, we know. Look at all that gray.

The U.S. does not use the metric system for commercial or standard activities, but it is the preferred system of measurement for all things technical: science, government, medicine and the like.

But metrication just won’t catch in the States. Honestly, can you imagine living in a world in which you ask your neighbor for a quarter-liter of sugar? It is only American to measure in cups, damnit.

Metric System [Catalytic Triad]
Weights and Measures [World Factbook]
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According to a witness, the ray was rumored to have flapped 20 feet before it came to its final resting place. Police came, tried to water the poor fellow, but it was all for naught.

It’ll only be a few hours before some distraught family posts up “Missing: Ray” posters around their neighborhood, and then someone will have to tell Timmy that the ray is in a better place. Like the pissed sidewalk of Market Street.

At least somewhere Steve Irwin must be smiling, right?

Image Source: jon hanson under Creative Commons
Manta Ray Flaps to Its Death on  Market Street [SFist]
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You know it’s truly the eve of Armageddon when even Bigfoot packs up and ships out to the next planet over. The Internet is abuzz with a recent picture released by NASA–a picture that seems to show an alien lady or Bigfoot waiting on a rock. Or it could be just a weird rock with a scraggly jutting formation, but that’s clearly not the case.

It can’t possibly be a trick of the eye, some Sasquatch enthusiasts wail. The Daily Mail quotes one adamant defender:

“If you show me another rock in another photo from Mars, or Earth, that naturally looks like that, I will reconsider.”

The real-size picture shows hardly a sign of our hairy friend, but when has Bigfoot ever been easy to find?

OK, so most level-headed people will agree that it’s a trick of the eye, hopefuls finding meaning in some brown dots, and yes, that’s completely true. But c’mon, it totally looks like Bigfoot is checking his watch!

Image Source: Daily Mail
NASA Mars Man Photo Fuels ET Debate [Offbeat]
Life on Mars? Amazing photos from Nasa probe reveal mystery figure on Red Planet [Daily Mail]
Earlier: This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse: Brothel Plays Host to Soap Opera

This feature has covered some crazy news from around the world, but this week’s story is truly mind-blowing and even had us stunned.

So off to Poland we go where we find ourselves at a brothel. (OK by merely the mention of the word “brothel” you know this story is going to be good.)

A man took a trip down to a local brothel where his life took a crazy and most unexpected turn. Instead of having a wild night of euphoric sex, his journey abruptly came to an end when he recognized an all too familiar face: …[drum roll please]… his wife.

His wife, who was claiming to make some extra money on the side working at a store, was actually spending her time selling her body for some green gray and red.

Yes, yes, we’re thinking the same exact thing—it’s the man’s lucky day. He walked into a brothel thinking he had to cough up last week’s paycheck only to find out that he would be getting a nice house discount.

Unfortunately, husband and wife we’re not on the same page thinking about discounts. Instead, they moved towards getting a divorce.

We’re low on information here, so we’re not exactly sure which party initiated the divorce. Either way, how in the world does a parting of the ways make sense—if anything, this event should have brought them closer. Don’t two wrongs make a right?

You know what would have been really funny. No? OK, we’ll tell you.

Imagine that man was extremely sexually aroused by his wife, but his wife just decided she no longer wanted to have sex with him. After a month or so of no action, the husband, with his built up hormones, storms into the brothel thinking in the back of his head, “I’m going to picture myself having sex with my wife.”

Image Source: Van Gogh’s The Brothel
Man spots his wife during visit to brothel [MSNBC]
Earlier: This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse: Prostitution Accepted in Some Circles