Berkeley has been bested again! And by “bested,” we actually mean “been given a ‘Best of College Newspapers Award‘ by the Paper Trail.” Aha! Gotcha! You totally thought we were gonna say Berkeley lost, didn’t you?

Yes, in all fairness, we (that’s Berkeley as a collective whole, just to be clear) nabbed  “Nonstory of the Year,” and not “Best Alternative Media Outlet,” as we’d hoped, but a) we all know the BAMO race was fraught with corruption, anyhow,  and b) the tree-sit had no viable nonstory competition.  Also, this is the oak grove showdown’s  second “Nonstory of the Year” win in a row.  Hey-o.

Image Source: leekelleher under Creative Commons
The Best of College Newspapers Award Winners [Paper Trail]
Earlier: CMM Cries Scandal(ish),  Sticks Up for Clog in BAMO Race

Say it isn’t so! Nine people involved in the oak grove tree-sit were sentenced by Alameda County Superior Court Judge Marshall Whitley. Three of the tree-sitter crew received jail time: Kingman Lim, Zachary RunningWolf and Michael Schuck. That’s five days plus a portion of the university’s attorney fees.

The remaining six will serve 50 hours of community service each. Say what? What about those hundreds of days saving the trees, you ask. That wasn’t just community service–that was Earth service.

Well, not when it’s in violation of court orders. Oh, so that’s what those citations were for …

Image Source: Skyler Reid, Daily Cal
Sentences handed down in UC Berkeley protest [SF Chron]
Nine people sentenced for involvement in UC Berkeley tree-sit [Oakland Trib]
via SFist

* Louis Peitzman endured 1.5 hours of “SNL,” and all he got was five minutes of Tine Fey-induced laughs [Arts: It's What's for Blog]

* Sarah Palin … well, at least she was a beauty queen [Nuts & Boalts]

* Tree-sitter descent. Almost like sex. With lots of foreplay. Lots. [Cal Patriot Blog]

* This is what you’d sound like if you smoked pot you found from 1964. [Daily Planet]

Our beloved Safeway store (a.k.a. the only name-brand supermarket within a 5-mile radius of campus) on the corner of College and Claremont avenues in the heart of the Rockridge and Elmwood shopping districts has plans for a facelift. No one is pleased.

The 1960’s-esque store plans to double its size and become a 2-story “lifestyle store” with a bakery, pharmacy, full-service meat counter, extensive organic produce section and a flower shop which neighbors worry will destroy the essence of the neighborhood and displace local specialty shops. Sound familiar?

“It’s a bastard design, if you pardon my French,” said Claremont resident Susan Shawl, who is leading the movement to protest the new design. “They say it was inspired by Julia Morgan, but it’s clumsy, overbearing, cheap, and looks like it belongs in a commercial mall. It’s appropriate in downtown Oakland.” Would Julia Morgan ever design a monstrosity like a supermarket?

A meeting was held Sept. 10 to involve the community in the controversial new design, and five more meetings have been set to further discuss the issues surrounding the reconstruction. There appears to be a lot of strong feelings involved, we just hope Safeway doesn’t become the new tree sit.

Image Source: Roadsidepictures under Creative Common
Meetings Set on Safeway’s Plan in Rockridge [Contra Costa Times]
Safeway Unveils New Plans for College Avenue Store [The Berkeley Daily Planet]

Four Remaining Tree-Sitters Leave UC Berkeley Oak Grove [Daily Cal]
The Wicked Witch Is Dead [You Tube]

It has been an emotional weekend for many at the foot of Oak Grove. Arborists have removed 35 of 42 trees as of Saturday, and are expected to cut down all but one redwood by today’s end.

Our redwood denizens no longer will receive adequate water and nutrition which the university has provided for 21 months. As of Friday, four tree-sitters remained with only one liter of water “to share”. We wonder if the heat will cause the tree-sitters to worry about their redwood’s thirst. UCB claims to have no plans of forcibly removing the tree-dwellers. We think the university is waiting for them to ripen and fall.

Updates on construction of the new project, which begins Monday, are to follow. In the meantime, check out the new signs that are making appearances alongside the usual hand-painted hemp banners:

Image Source: ingridtaylar under Creative Commons
UC Berkeley Grove cleared of most trees [SFGate]
Free Firewood at Oak Grove [YouTube]

It’s about time we respond to your comments. This week we received a little outside research from our readers, so we decided to share some recommended reading for you all. You don’t even have any real homework just yet, so you might as well take a look.

First, we got some anti-tree sentiment from aaronrodgersforpresident on Science Suffers Several Severe Setbacks:

There are two of us, both Cal alums, putting together some shirts for the early 2008 season, celebrating the removal of Runningwolf, Dumpster Muffin, and all affiliated hemp-wearing, patchouli-smelling, GED-earning, tree-sitting douchebags.

Here’s a taste…
http://www.zazzle.com/mhengehold

Wow. That’s extreme, even for us. Although could we recommend that your “Go Back to Your Dumpster” T-shirt bear a muffin instead of the chainsaw? We think a bran muffin would be lovely.

And then we got a link to a self-made vid from 000 Montgomery on This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse: Ray Dying in the Streets:

Loves it. Especially the creepy, conspiracy theory techno music and the satellite zoom to the very obviously dead ray. We’re not sure we’re supposed to be laughing at this, but we just can’t help it.

We can’t until next week, when our readers give us some more zany material to work with. C’mon, we know you have it in you.

Image Source: cindy47452 under Creative Commons

OK, so we’re tired of tree-people news too, but this was too good to pass up: Apparently, arborists from the university are cutting down branches in an effort to make things “difficult, but not dangerous” for the tree-people.

We have to say, this is somewhat welcoming news. But enough of that, let’s analyze the supporters’ and tree-people’s reactions:

*Some tree-sit supporters accused the UCPD of being arrogant. What? How is cutting down branches being arrogant? Unless they were laughing maniacally while chopping down branches, in which case we would have little option but to chuckle.

*Ayr—spokesman for the tree-people—complains that the protesters feel threatened, saying the university agreed to warn them before being attacked. Well … we can’t really criticize this, since the tree-sit has been going on for so long that any distinction between tree-people and trees is starting to blur. Maybe Ayr’s right?

*The four remaining tree-people are in one tree, a redwood. That’s right: a redwood. Theoretically, the university could cut down all the oaks without physically affecting the tree-people. Wait, that gives us an idea …

*Another complaint is that the university is violating the injunction by beginning construction. Sorry chuckles, but the university is in fact destroying, not constructing (okay, that was a little lame, but someone had to point it out).

For a much better and in-depth coverage—including a history—of the tree-sit, read the special freshman issue of The Daily Californian.

Image Source: basswulf under Creative Commons
Campus Cuts Branches at Oak Grove [Daily Cal]
BERKELEY: UNIVERSITY TRIMS OAK GROVE TREES, SITTERS FEEL THREATENED [CBS5]

No, we don’t refer to the the tiny strip of grass on the northern stretch of Shattuck Avenue, where many foodies flock to show off their slices of Cheeseboard.

Rather, we speak of the median next to the Memorial Stadium oak grove, which boasts loitering hippies, tents and cardboard shacks instead of the comparably well-groomed Cheeseboard fanatics. With school set to start in a few weeks, the university really wants these squatters out–and they’re looking to the city for a little bit of help.

Unfortunately, the city isn’t really inclined to respond with any sort of action, citing the lack of a substantial safety hazard. We do admit, though, the campground and its inhabitants are quite distracting to motorists (including ourselves). As the median civilization grows ever larger, more campers do not care to use the freakin’ crosswalks. We can only imagine what it smells like up close.

Image Source: Skyler Reid, Daily Cal
UC asks Berkeley to clear campers from median [SF Chronicle]

Back after Judge Barbara J. Miller ruled in the last court case, the tree-sit supporters had the option to appeal. While the city of Berkeley backed out from appealing, the California Oak Foundation and the Panoramic Hill Association went ahead and filed their appeal. The panel of appellate judges is expected to rule by Aug. 13.

In the meantime, the latest injunction against construction holds until the ruling comes out. If the appeal gets thrown out, it’ll probably be game-over for the tree-sitters, and the university will want to clear them out in time for the first football game on Aug. 30. Maybe this year they’ll get to save face instead of host a zoo exhibit of poo-slingers.

And if the appeal gets the OK? The university wants a $28 million bond from the California Oak Foundation and the Panoramic Hill Association, basically for wasting their time and money for 20 months now. It’s time to dig into that trust fund, tree-people. And, you know, we hear that Berkeley homes fetch quite a penny.

The Chron got the beef from the tree-sit supporters:

“It’s shameful,” said Mary “Redwood Mary” Kaczorowski, a Berkeley environmental activist and longtime supporter of the protest. “The university is holding the community hostage by operating within these narrow confines. It’s unconscionable.”

Hostage? Hmm, funny, we never knew of hostages who had the ability to climb down their oak and leave whenever they wanted to. Seems like “Redwood Mary” is out of her element.

Image Source: Skyler Reid, Daily Cal
UC keen to deal with stadium, not sitters [SF Chron]
Earlier: Judge Gives University the Go-Ahead