The pathogen’s M. O. reads like crappy sci-fi, especially the part where the afflicted oak starts to “ooze sap that resembles human blood from large cankers,” and then the tree’s leaves suddenly turn “from green to brown, immediately preceding the tree’s death.” Excuse us while we go over here and grimace disgustedly for a while.

Anyway, the good news is that, unlike in Oregon, where they have adopted a “slash-and-burn method” to contain the rapidly-spreading problem, there’s nothing that anyone can really do here in California. Oh wait, that’s not good news at all. Well, at least researchers are on it, studying up on the enemy and attempting to figure out the best way to strike. The Clog sends four-leaf clovers and other flora-based luck to them.

Image Source: Steffe under Creative Commons
Pathogen Outbreak Plagues Tilden Oak Trees [Daily Cal]

Now, the community anxiously awaits further updates from the newest characters in this epic drama–the judges three of the appellate court. We sense a little double, double toil and trouble, if you know what we mean …

Stay tuned for more confusing legal stuff that people stopped caring about a long time ago. Is it too late to suggest using the trees as training facilities? Pull-ups, anyone?

Image Source: Skyler Reid, Daily Cal
Plaintiffs Resubmit Appeal in Athletic Center Lawsuit [Daily Cal]

Last night, three tree-sitters descended and the police managed to arrest one male. The others shimmied back up the trees, but the police later talked down the two, a male and a female dubbed “Olive.”

Most recently, our precious Dumpster Muffin (remember her?) came down. She indicated “that she might be suffering from an undetermined medical condition,” according to the Daily Cal. We will not … make … the … joke. We mustn’t be so mean.

Image Source: Kanaka’s Paradise Life under Creative Commons
Four More Tree-Sitters Voluntarily Vacate Oak Grove [Daily Cal]

OK, so let us clarify: Fresh > Students Against Hippies in Trees (which we thought was Students against Hippies in Trees, i.e. “SHIT”) > Harrison’s e-mail > student replies. All artfully done, mind you. This is the New Yorker, a class of writing that will make your bougie panties weep.

We wish we could have seen more replies–after all, Harrison did receive hundreds, according to the article. The New Yorker mentioned a mere pinch:* “Personally I have never understood the idea of protesting via tree, but I know many of my classmates find it admirable”

* “I appreciate your dedication to our safety, and hope that you do not feel too antagonized on a campus whose heritage is somewhat based on questioning authority figures”

* “I agree with you 100%. I hate those tree people or those crazy people who walk around in Sproul and lecture everyone on the harm of cell phones”

* “You can be sure that the student body will once again rise to the call of our beloved University. Not everyone is here to practice free speech and be a nuisance; most of us are here to obtain one of the finest educations in the world. Go Bears!”

We’re not quite sure whether the third reply or the last one is worse. The crazy people are easy to tune out, so that’s not that big of an issue…but maybe that’s because “not everyone is here to practice free speech.” Only the crazies do that, right?

California Postcard: On A Limb [New Yorker]
Earlier: Open letter: Seeing the forest for the trees [NewsCenter]

“I was planning on leaving, but the officer chased me,” he told The Daily Californian, “so I climbed up the tree.” No, we’re not talking about that big tree in front of Wheeler Hall, the one already shouldering the burden of a massive sign. We’re talking about another nearby tree.

Seriously, what gives? Where’s the Lorax when you need him? Or, more importantly–where are those Greenpeace-ers who were supposed to be protesting Kimberly-Clark’s “Kleercutting” of Boreal forests? Maybe they should turn their tree-flushing tactics into a tree two-fer to save the suffering trees right in their own backyard–er–campus.

Or, even better yet, why can’t the trees themselves grow a pair (of leaves) and protest on their own behalf? It happened in “The Lord of the Rings,” and Berkeley’s probably home to the Ents’ most ardent fan base, so why not here? The trees could sit on people! Now that would be news. Well, all we here at The Clog can say is, “Told you so.”

Protester Leaves Tree Outside Wheeler Hall and Moves to Another Tree [Daily Californian]

UPDATE: Greenpeace and UC Berkeley Students to Hold the Most Disgusting Protest Ever Tomorrow [SFist]

Earlier: We See a Pattern: Trees Become 21st Century Soapbox

OK, fair enough. We’re still not convinced that sitting in a tree will gain anything besides extra police patrolling.

But wait! There’s more! SFist tipped us to another tree-related protest scheduled for tomorrow. Called “Toilet-Trees” (oh so clever), the protest calls out Kimberly-Clark for its clear-cutting practices in producing tissue and toilet paper. In the copy of the press release, SFist points to the claim that “there will be great visuals and photo opportunities!”

Oh shit. Take a look for yourselves:

Subject: Press Release 2/28 UC BERKELEY EVENT ON SPROUL PLAZA

FOR RELEASE:

This Thursday, the 28th, Greenpeace along with UC Berkeley student organizers will be hosting a “Toilet-Trees” event on Sproul Plaza on the Berkeley Campus 10am-2pm to alert students to the clear-cutting practices of Kleenex Brand’s parent company, Kimberly-Clark. This is the world’s largest tissue manufacturer and uses clear-cut wood sourced from ancient forests to make a product that millions of people use – and then simply throw away. Students all across the country have been organizing to send a clear message to Kimberly-Clark that sustainable universities will not buy their products. UC-Berkeley prides itself on being a sustainable campus, and we too want to send a clear message Kimberly-Clark that they will not get away with their clear-cutting practices – as students will unite our voices and stand up to them. Our event is designed to call attention to Kimberly-Clark’s practices and garner student support for passing a student resolution stating our concern regarding Kimberly-Clark’s practices.

There will be great visuals and photo opportunities!

We would love for you to come out.

Fortunately, SFist has confirmed that there will not be, as one might easily assume, more poop on campus property. Instead, Greenpeace and company will symbolically flush trees down toilets. Phew.

Image Source: Christine Borden
Free Speech Still Comes at a Price [Notes from the Field]
UPDATE: Greenpeace and UC Berkeley Students to Hold the Most Disgusting Protest Ever Tomorrow [SFist]