According to the Academic Ranking of World Universities, an annual publication maintained by Shanghai Jiao Tong University, UC Berkeley placed third in the world in a list of university rankings.

First place went to Harvard while second went to our cardinal buddies across the bay, Stanford. While it’s no surprise Harvard placed first (with consistent placement every year that Wikipedia reports), Berkeley did manage to bump up from fourth since 2006.

A quick glance at the criteria convinced us of its legitimacy, because after all—you can’t have an objective system of measurement without numbers. And oh boy, does that list have numbers.

If you were pleasantly surprised at Berkeley’s placement with the ARWU, then whatever you do, don’t look at Forbes’ America’s Best Colleges List. We said don’t!

Image Source: John-Morgan under Creative Commons
Top 500 World Universities (1-100) [ARWU]

Thank God a certain sector of the country (the one that probably purchases those “Girls Gone Wild” tapes at 3 AM) decided to focus on Allison Stokke. Why Wikipedia is ignoring these poor bastards is beyond us, but we’re just damned glad to have something to talk about in the dead of summer. Anyway, check out this somewhat ridiculous Fox 2 report on the web’s favorite novelty sport participant.

The clip basically consists of people saying “Well, she jumped this height, she jumped that height, she jumped that height and she hopes to jump a higher height some day.” Stokke herself waxes poetic about the challenge of being able to jump over Shaq (If she actually did this, the entire internet might explode). The news reporters convey a strong message of “We’re doing this because she’s hot, but for propriety’s sake, we’re pretending that her hotness is a peripheral factor.”

The only thing more ridiculous than covering such a story would be covering the coverage of it. Wait. Oh, shit…

No pervy shots of an unsuspecting 18 year old student athlete?! What the hell kind of encyclopedia is this?! Apparently, the lack of an Allison Stokke Wikipedia entry is causing a bit of a controversy. We thought the Stokke celebrity-rama would end quickly, but somehow the story keeps going.So people across the country are currently exclaiming, “Dude, I can’t believe Wikipedia won’t post pics of this famous hot teenage pole vaulter.” Wrap your mind around that one.

Anyway, the whole incident proves what the Clog’s grandma always told us: “If you don’t want old perverts to ogle you on the information superhighway, you really shouldn’t take up collegiate pole vaulting.”