After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on earth.
While we were busy careening our necks to get a glimpse of Angel Island ablaze, Redding suffered the plague of conflagration too. Because of a squirrel.
A flaming squirrel, to be exact. It shorted out a power line, combusted and fell over into a dry patch of grass. The important thing to consider here, though, is not what we can do to protect the sanctity of our dry vegetation. Instead, as one SF Gate commenter puts it, “would this have happened if the squirrel were straight?” Ah yes, a conundrum indeed.
Image Source: law_keven under Creative Commons
Flaming squirrel blamed for small Calif. wildfire [SF Chron]
Earlier: D.A. Says: Don’t Sniff and Do Facebook
WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.
Computer program can learn baby talk: A computer program shows how babies learn to speak by decoding sounds from different languages. Previously, the story states, theories held that babies knew all the sounds from all languages of the globe. If that were true, how come the Clog babies didn’t know Afrikaans upon birth, eh? But now we know that’s not necessarily true. Next step: make babies into computers. Now that’d be cool.
But if that doesn’t work, we could always just make babies suck on lemons. And then laugh at them (apparently that’s the essence of college humor).
Can computers speak that language? We didn’t think so.
Maid jailed for serving up urine: In Hong Kong, a maid has been arrested on a charge of “administering poison or other destructive or noxious substance with intent to injure” to her employer. Is pee really that serious? If urine is so damn destructive, then why did Kevin Costner drink his own in “Waterworld”? Either way, that’s one helluva way to resign.
China busts seller of 18,000 fake Viagra pills: Fake Viagra pills? Heavens forbid we deprive the Chinese population of old-man erections! The Clog thinks this was secretly a ploy to further enforce the one-child policy. If you can’t get it up, you can’t pop more out. For shame.
Oscar the Cat Predicts Patients’ Deaths: We thought we had to worry about only black cats crossing our paths, but apparently it’s just Oscar, the kitty of death, we have to fret. Whenever Oscar shows up, people die—and it’s happened 25 times already. The nursing home thinks he can sniff out death. We think they should check into his medical history. Sounds like SARS to us.
WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.
American Brothers Gored in Bull Run: A bull broke from the pack during the running of the bulls festival in Pamplona and injured two brothers, goring both of them in the process. One brother suffered goring in what the press likes to call “the buttocks,” and the other saw the bull pierce his leg. There are
explicit pictures. We suggest you not eat while looking at them, especially if you’re feasting on kebabs.
Women demand female Pamplona bull run, with cows: Women participate in the yearly festival, but in paltry numbers, some say. And the cows are all for equal rights. Double plus for no possibility of goring. We just hope nobody cries over spilled milk.
Woman Gets Paris’ Old Cell Number And Many Calls: A UCLA student keeps getting calls meant for celebutante Paris Hilton. Most of the calls come between 2 and 4 a.m on the weekends. Must be for invitations to go picnicking, we bet.
Irish Bookie Loses on the Wrong Al Gore: A bookie paid out more than $13,500 to people who bet Al Gore would be the next American celebrity arrested. The bookie didn’t specify which Al Gore, so when A.G. III got pulled over for speeding and the police arrested him on suspicion of possessing marijuana and prescription drugs, some people were big winners (the odds were 14:1). But we all win, really. Time Magazine came out with a story titled “Al Gore’s Son: An Inconvenient Youth.” Aww yeah.
Earlier: WTF: Family Issues, from Sperm Children to Daddy Crushes
WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.
Puerto Rico’s
El Nuevo Dia features the dance of the sperm children. In English, the caption reads: “Youths dramatize in front of the Capitol personifying sperm that were painted in colors.” This photo seems to modernize the Monty Python song “Every Sperm Is Sacred.” We’re not so sure, however, it was meant to be as funny as the original–the spermies were serious in protesting against same-sex marriage.
Butts charged with stealing toilet paper: Groan. You know somewhere out there a bunch of reporters and editors are high-fiving each other over this witty headline.
Job seeker rejected due to “racist dog”: A job applicant said his dog was racist and would bite non-white people. Didn’t we see this on “Curb Your Enthusiasm”?
bq. Wanda: Did you train it to hate black people?
Larry: No, I didn’t train it to hate black people.
Wanda: Has it barked at any white people?
Cheryl: No, he’s, he’s…
Wanda: Exactly. Your dog is racist.
Larry: Sheriff’s racist?
Wanda: Sheriff? That’s a perfect name for a racist dog
Women Prefer Men Who Look Like Dad: Especially when the dad is fictional pedophile Humbert Humbert. Or if daddy read “Lolita” aloud to the woman when she was a child.
Judge Suing Dry Cleaner Cries Over Pants: Guess he doesn’t wear the pants in the courtroom now. We mean, he certainly wasn’t in control the other day:
bq. A judge had to leave the courtroom with tears running down his face Tuesday after recalling the lost pair of trousers that led to his $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner.
Wow. $54 million. Those pants must have been made out of diamonds.
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