You’ve heard the girly man, seen baby Charlie and watched all the edited versions of the fat Star Wars kid. We know what you’re wondering now–why not me?

Agreed. Why not you? You’ve got the voice, the moves, or maybe just the thirst for online stardom. And c’mon, even our professors are YouTube-ing. So as you bask in the suffocating heat of mid-summer boredom, claim your fame by following these simple suggestions.

Despite what she said, length matters.

People. Have. Short. Attention spans. We know that some videos out there are an ungodly eight and ten minutes long, but try to keep your video around two or three. At that, it’s a good idea to have something amazing happen in the first 15 seconds of your video. We’re talkin’ wam, bam, thank you, ma’am. read more »

ASUC candidates have infiltrated Upper Sproul Plaza, and now the real go-getters are posting their videos on YouTube.

SQULECH! seems to have a good grasp of the power of video: no special effects (or even moving cameras), just pure comedy and a dash of politics rhetoric. Above, Senate candidate John Moghtader promises you won’t have to wait “schlong” for change.

P.S. Speaking of schlongs, did SQUELCH! do the requisite vibrator races yet? They smoked out Sproul, but it’s not campaign season until you see cheap buzzing sex toys slide down a homemade ramp.

John Moghtader SQUELCH! Campaign Video [YouTube]

WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.

OK, so the Daily Cal’s a little rusty with United States geography, but at least the Clog knows that France is indeed a country and that Europe, surprisingly, is not.

Too bad we can’t say the same for the other crazies and dunces. We may have exactly that (crazies and dunces) at our protests, but we sincerely hope we can avoid the hot mess in our classes at least.

Oh God. Heidi Klum manages to make us embarrassed for her. We all saw Tyra and the Vaseline. We think our point goes without saying.

Then there’s this next picture:

Blogger NancyKay Shapiro snapped this beauty in a local grocery store in NYC. Unfortunately, she was the only smart one around (or at least the only one with somewhat functioning mental capabilities). We’re surprised it’s not wrapped with bacon and shoved into an oyster shell.

But surely the Hanukkah spirit hasn’t been ruined yet, Gentiles be damned! The Clog would like to extend a “happy Hanukkah!” to you all. May your menorah stay bright … and your heads brighter.

Europe is a country and everyone speaks french here [YouTube]
Heidi Klum plays with her boobs [YouTube]
Let’s all eat trafe for Chanukah! [NancyKay Shapiro]
Earlier: WTF: From Birth to Death

Cal Band’s getting some virtual ass with this vid of video game songs. We heard it was No. 2 on Digg’s top ten for all topics, and it’s currently No. 4 on the front page of College Humor. When you search Cal Band on YouTube, it is now the top result. The video boasts well over 100,000 views and it’s been favorited almost 3,000 times.

Can we get a “Cal Band great”?

Thanks to Gordon Chien for the tip.

Cal Band - Video Game Show [YouTubeM]

We’re so glad that nowadays we can share our thoughts with up to 10 people using “the online blogopolis.”

Often, people will come up to us and say, “Clog, what is blogging? What is this Intarwebs?” We refer them to Gabe and Max. And then laugh. Not at them, but mostly because we’re watching that lolcats video on YouTube again.

The sad thing is we could totally do a legit blog post about some dude on the bus because, hey, it’s Berkeley. Especially if we’re talking about the 51 here.

Gabe & Max’s Internet Thing [YouTube]

We think it’s something with a Christian moral behind it, but we’re pretty grossed out right now. Is that dude playing with a raw steak?Though we do give kudos for the Monty Python reference. The rest, now, is something completely different.Fruity Tales [YouTube]