It’s the time of year for bad presents and fruitcake again. The Clog staff would like to show its appreciation with a final rehash. Hopefully, this will be enough to feed your gossip appetites until the new Welcome Week.

We gave you the first NorCal -tase- taste of UCLA’s shocking incident that incited sympathy protests, and rapid facebook group membership. This, however, could only be sandwiched in popularity between you and yourself. Maybe the POTY mouth did get it right.

But we covered a lot more than copping out in our first semester. ‘Super-applicants’ reigned despite dissing Berkeley and even beat out Christine’s amazing sex. No word yet on who the new SOT will be.

The Daily Cal rocked almost everywhere, sans Booty, in the Ink Bowl. And in addition to not being a hater of the free press, The Daily Clog proved that it was undeniably the shit.

Name drops on Anoncon are very exciting, because it’s like “woah! First name and last name on livejournal!” and then you go to Facebook and you’re like “woah! I can look at pictures of you!” We know it’s finals, so we’re going to cut you some stalking slack– in the spirit of making efficient use of your time, we’ve gone ahead and matched some of the most memorable names to faces so you don’t have to.

Ben Narodick: You need to kiss him/her already.

Tyler McCauley: Tight pants & bulge? If you’ve got any tips, you know where to send them.

Kelly Vu: She might be the equivalent of an import car model. Moar.

Starting to regret your decision to come to Cal yet? It’s okay, there are plenty of videos you can blame for making you have an ill-informed decision. Like this one, from TheU, a new service to send pre-freshmen polished, informative videos stuffed with generalizations and facts about 50% correct. What’s our favorite line in the teaser above? “You’ll get solicited by Muslims, communists, cross dressers, and Republicans,” not to mention the visuals they choose for each group.

More videos:
Full video (requires e-mail sign up): [TheU]
TheU: The Ivy League Meets After School Television [IvyGate]

Tired of coffee? We know we are. Can’t get enough kick out of those energy drinks? Those aren’t the only two ways to pull an all-nighter to get ready for you 8 a.m. final.

Now you can join your ADD friends and take Ritalin and Adderall! These two wonder drugs can give you and even a better energy boost than those traditional methods. Who likes coffee anyway?

A story from our friends at “The Badger Herald”: reports that students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison have turned to these pills to help them stay awake a focus for those nasty finals.

If Ritalin and Adderall can work for those kids up at Wisconsin (snore, What kind of tests do they have? We’re sure that anatomical bovine final is sooo hard), then think about all the wonders it can have at Cal.

Just watch out, Adderall has an FDA “black box warning.” Meaning, if you take too much, then you won’t need to worry about that physics final next Monday.

Got any other study aids? Tell us at “[email protected]”:mailto:[email protected]

While you could be spending your time on the Facebook or YouTube, you’re instead, here with us. We realize your short attention span is only here until the next one of your “friends” has a dire status update on the order of “Amy is study study study” or “James is wanting to be done with it all”. On the other hand, The Daily Clog is ready for Internet convergence with YouTube videos about Facebook on a BLOG! OMG!

Despite what this song says, we are your one true electronic friend:

Want to know what school God lists on the Facebook?

And finally, you know all those groups conditional on the number of people who join them, make sure you’re willing to deliver on those promises.

Hindsight is a weekly recap of the good stuff, for better or for worse.

* Smackdown layed on tree-sitter, former mayoral candidate. [Beetle Beat]
* Students confess most boring “secrets” ever. [Livejournal]
* Nobel winner and Cal Band make heavenly music video. [Newscenter]
* CalTV makes video for editing practice, we hope. But it forgets how to study for finals appropriately [CalTV]:

Last week: Big Game, Big Consequences

Tired of studying geography only to learn there are more countries than anonymous confessions with confusing histories and capitalist symbols? Put your petty bourgeois finals concerns on hold and let this be one lesson you remember.

With a flag that sends a clear message to anybody not in the mood for fun, the island of Ibiza is a nonstop party. Owned by the Spanish and hot spot for European tourists, the “Gomorrah of the Med” is home to many clubs, pretty beaches, and not you.

The lifestyle includes partying in the late evening into the dawn for everyone. The day is spent recuperating on beaches until after dusk when it is time for more partying at one of the clubs known for the following: the largest club in the world, water parties, foam parties, and after parties. Fiesta grande doesn’t even begin to cover it.

The island is also home to the electronic dance “movement” with many “artists” as permanent residents. And while Wikipedia doesn’t give a lot of information about the recreational drug use scene, we wouldn’t want to leave it out of the island’s features.

Did we mention there’s a Vengaboys song about it?

Another Place You’d Rather Be: Right Next to the World’s Most Famous Phallic Symbol

Yeah, after days on end of staying cooped up in your apartment or you little corner in the library, it’s time for you to get up and do some exercising.

This outlines an easy way for you to get off your ass and move around.

As in the video, it’d be best to grab a partner, or all the people in the library, to do these. There’s no better way to make friends but to look stupid in the bowels of Doe together.

Note: the shouting is necessary.

You’ve been full of shit lately UC Berkeley. Nothing interesting is coming out of your dirty mouths except fictional porn stories you wish were your reality.

It only takes one sentence to make a point:

bq. i think my upstairs neighbors are fucking clogging or something, jesus. keep it the fuck DOWN.

It’s probably us, but don’t worry, we’ll be going strong all week long. Oh, yeah, baby, that’s how you like it, don’t you?

Where not to buy your Paris Hilton albums:

bq. I’m scared to buy Top 50 music at Amoeba.

On Berkeley’s cultural superiority:

bq. a guy on my floor was eating cup noodles with chopsticks last night to look sophisticated.

Earlier: Best Confessions: EVARRR

Why wouldn’t you not want to be one of those sparkling in the city of lights, walking around the Champs-Elysees and taking in that Parisian air full of…snobbery?

We’re sure that walking and eating amongst a bunch of hairy, smelly French people is better than looking at that pajama-wearing, smelly French international student sitting across from you at the Moffitt library.

Sure, you can go visit the Arch de Triumph, the Louvre and the Orsay Museum instead of studying or trolling on the “anoncon”: Wait, that reminds you of that Art History final you have to study for doesn’t it? Oh well.

But hey, we’ll always have Paris.

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