Despite all the papers due and looming finals, trouble still abounds on campus in some very sexy ways. From Zachary RunningWolf chalking to indecently exposed students disturbing the peace, this past week in PoLo sure got our juices flowing.

h2. Wednesday, April 25, 2007

**2:04 a.m.**, _University Village: Suspicious circumstance regarding cutting down palm tree fronds. Two male students, 18 and 19 years old, identified as suspects._

Bravo. Talk about putting the lime in the coconut and drinking them both down. Clearly these students allegedly know at where the real party is. It is also comforting to know that there are also tree cutters among us (allegedly).

**12:19 a.m.**, _Sather Gate: Zachary RunningWolf chalking the ground in rules violation._

Someone’s been a bad bunny rabbit. Our favorite canine just got a lot hotter.

h2. Thursday, April 26, 2007

**10:15 a.m.**, _In front of 190 Doe Library: UC Berkeley employee finds bullet._


h2. Friday, April 27, 2007

**10:15 a.m.**, _Moffitt Library restroom: Female student reports seeing peeping Tom._

Creepy fuck. Apparently someone didn’t get the memo that you can put porn on an iPod.

h2. Saturday, April 28, 2007

**1:33 a.m.**, _Unit-2 courtyard: Male student, 23, and 21-year-old male non-student involved in mutual battery. No prosecution sought._

Good old fashioned fisticuffs. It gives us a warm fuzzy feeling.

h2. Sunday, April 29, 2007

**12:35 a.m.**, _Bowles Hall: Officer speaks to male student, 19, about indecent exposure and disturbing the peace._

**12:50 a.m.**, _Sproul Plaza: Officer speaks four students, 18, 20 and two aged 19, about indecent exposure and disturbing the peace._

**2:30 a.m.**, _Haas Pools: Officer speaks to three female students, two 19-year-olds and one 20-year-old, and one 20-year-old male student about trespassing._

We don’t know if these three incidents are related. But the possibility that we missed an epic multi-location campus orgy deeply saddens us.

**5:35 p.m.**, _Bancroft Way and Telegraph Avenue: Officer conducts welfare check on 12-year-old boy faking injury/illness._

UCPD: Keeping tabs on bad little boys.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: Vice Finds Home in Units

Random appointment times are now so passe as students got a taste of a nastier problem: waitlist deletions. In an e-mail to students, the university wrote:

bq. We’re writing to alert you of a problem that occurred with waiting lists for Fall 2007: all waiting list enrollments were inadvertently deleted from students’ records over this past weekend. IST programmers are in the process of restoring all waiting list enrollments to the database, which will take up the remainder of the day today.

To keep it short, this has incited much debate and whining, probably justified, on the Livejournal community.

One commenter writes:

bq. I called the Registrar’s Office – All they said was go on and re-sign up during open hours.

bq. LAME. I was #1. Those bitches.

Bitches, indeed. But they’re apparently working on it as the e-mail also said waitlists have been shut down today so that they can attempt to restore them. Result: hard to say.

Telebears not working? [Livejournal Community]
Telebears sucks. [Livejournal Community]
Email from the registrar regarding telebears [Livejournal Community]

The Oakland Tribune tells us that humanities don’t bring in the moolah. But this time, it’s not for graduates when they go onto random careers such as teaching ski lessons or noble causes such as Teach for America, but for UC Berkeley as a university.

One professor claims that funding is the problem:

bq. “We’re in dire need of more funding,” said Dorothy Hale, an English professor. “The sciences are burgeoning on campus, and we love to see it, but the humanities are like the poor stepsister.”

The top humanities departments are in a perilous position. They are strong now, but reducing or not increasing funding could seriously jeopardize their status.

The article states one interesting reason for the difference in funding difficulties between humanities and sciences:

bq. Among the most serious challenges for humanities departments is how to pay for graduate students. Science and engineering departments can use federal funds to pay those students, who also teach courses and help professors. No such funds are available for the humanities.

Former Chancellor Robert Berdahl, who is now the president of the Association of American Universities, is portrayed as trying to light a fire under Berkeley administrators’ collective ass saying they “need to make a stronger case for the humanities.”

Humanities at Cal: High-ranking but low on funding [Oakland Tribune]

In an attempt to get people out of their cars and into hot, sweaty and smelly trains, busses and ferries, the Bay Area’s public transportation system – that means AC Transit, BART and those ferry boats – will be free today because of that tanker exploding and taking out a major chunk of the MacArthur Maze.

Public transportation officials say that they hope that this will alleviate the horrible traffic that will pile up because of the tanker explosion yesterday.

Of course officials are also asking people to tinker with their work schedules. Jim Allison, a BART spokesperson, told the Chron that people should go to work early!

bq. “Ride early or late, avoid the peak of rush hour,” he said. “Many people may choose not to go to work or to drive in at 3 a.m. The good thing is that our system can count down to each and every person who rides day to day (and we can adjust service from there).”

We offer other suggestions.

1) Play hookie!
Just don’t go to work. C’mon, you know you haven’t played hookie since the sixth grade. Time to let your inner child come out.

2) Arrive to Work Late
Just go later. We’ll make sure that your employer doesn’t freak out for you.

3) Walk/Bike
If you really can (and we could, but we really don’t want to) you can walk or bike or skateboard or roller blade to work. We think it would be awesome to see guys in three piece suits flying down the side of the road on their 20 year-old skateboard.

For students: since BART’s free today, forget about finals next week and those end of the year projects, go to the city and party it up. It’s like a Spare the Air day!

Earlier: “Bay Bridge Roadway Collapses in Tanker Fire”:
COLLAPSE [Daily Cal]
Free transit offered to lure commuters away from destroyed highways [SF Gate]

There has been some awesomeness this weekend by Cal sports. So, we dedicate this edition of the Wide World of Cal Sports to our boy Dan Patrick as we steal his most well-known catch phrase, En Fuego.

*Leading Off…Who is this Cal Baseball team?*
Arizona State is the Pac-10’s best team this year. The Devils haven’t dropped a weekend series all year – until they came to Berkeley.

Esquer’s Bears somehow took two of three games from the Pac-10’s top team and they did it by smashing ASU’s guts in, especially on Sunday.

Oh, and Tyson Ross is amazing! Simply amazing!

But where did all this winning come from for Cal? It looks like a totally different team from the one that started the season.

Dare we say, En Fuego?

*Record Breakers*
Alysia Johnson’s been amazing ever since she got back from her injury. She’s broke record after record after record after record after record and won an NCAA Indoor title.

David Torrence also had an amazing weekend, as he broke a record over the weekend along with Alysia Johnson.

Dare we say, En Fuego?

*Not En Fuego*
There were a couple of sides that weren’t En Fuego over the weekend. Most notably the defending national championship men’s crew fell to No. 1 Washington. Slow starts and choppy waters will get to you.

The other not so En Fuego moment happen for the Cal women’s tennis team, or their singles players. Zsuzsanna Fodor, who was last year’s Pac-10 singles champion, was knocked out of the tournament this year in the second round.

Her doubles partner, Suzie Babos, made it to the finals of the singles bracket, but choked a chance away for the crown.

Not En Fuego.

*NFL Draft Recap*
Along with the other three guys that were drafted on the first day of the NFL Draft – Lynch, Mebane and Hughes – linebacker Desmond Bishop was picked up by the Green Bay Packers in the sixth round on Sunday.

So that makes it four former Bears making the jump from college to pro, not to mention any guys who’ll be trying out for teams within the next couple of weeks.

And at least Aaron Rodgers will get to play with a former Cal player up in Green Bay, though he didn’t play with Bishop.

*Golden Bears*
_1) Alysia Johnson – track_
Broke another record.

_2) David Torrence – track_
Broke a school record.

_3) Michael Brady – baseball_
First two career home runs.

Dare we say, En Fuego?

All is amazing in the land of hyphy. Fourteen miles down the road from campus (we need make a clear connection in our formula of proximity + topicality), the Oaktown Warriors kicked some overdog ass Sunday night.

Somehow, someway, that loveable band of misfits took another game from the Goliath Mavericks. The boys playing for the blue-collar town are now up 3-1 in the series and well on their way to pulling off the most incredible upset in Clog memory. Damn, are we living in a corny sports movie? Eh, fuck it, who cares? Let the joyous thizz dancing begin.

The TNT camera shots of mean-mugging, dumb-dancing, shout-out-giving, stunner-shade-wearing, Oakland peeps had the Clog laughing our cabalistic asses off. We were also entertained when Charles Barkley risked his life by saying “Oakland sucks,” in front of millions of television viewers. It was a very fun evening all-around.

The momentous occasion came on the heels of a very bad omen. You may have heard about the wee Caltrans problem that happened Sunday morning. The collapse of the bridge entrance had sportswriters everywhere drooling over the easy pickins’ metaphor:

“On a day when the Bay Bridge entrance collapsed, so too did the Warriors…”

But somehow, unlike the green steel bolts of the I-80 overpass, those pesky Oakland players managed not to melt and fall apart onto a major thoroughfare like a bad, traffic-inducing analogy.

Thankfully, Black Thought from the Roots a.k.a Baron Davis was there to save the day. He’s now the most popular Yay Area figure since Mac Dre. If he succeeds in dragging the Warriors to a championship we might just go dumb. Check that—we might put our stunner shades on and go really stupid-triple-doo-doo-dumb.

And the bandwagon trendiness we warned you about has sportswear companies going really fucking dumb. We asked Ali, a worker for Telegraph’s UC Sporting and Luggage, to assess the current Warriors fever.

“It’s cool, a lot of people are asking about the Warriors stuff. A lot of people are getting on the bandwagon lately. No one really cared before, but after yesterday (Sunday), wow. People are all like, ‘Go Warriors cuz!’”

Go Warriors cuz, indeed.

Internet powerhouse and UC Berkeley-Mountain View-campus Google held a day of competition for 120 brainiacs this weekend. Positioned as a rivalry between Stanford and Cal, Google pitted teams of students from each campus against each other for the coveted price of a Wii. No one was required to hold their wee and water was kept to reasonable levels:

bq. “We’re kind of burning up,” said Berkeley junior Kevin Davis, “especially after running around to get all the Lego pieces.”

In one event, students were asked to build aesthetically pleasing yet structurally strong Lego bridges in limited time. For some, it was a success, but for others water did them in:

bq. “Our bridge fell under troubled water,” quipped Kayuon Beykpour, a Stanford freshman. “We had a good concept, but we didn’t have enough time.”

Standford won overall, but later privately admitted that they still suck.

College kids get a fast blast of Google culture [Mercury News]

The California College Media Association recently announced the winners for over 30 categories in media publication for California colleges. The Daily Cal (and even the Clog, motherfuckers) won awards in 12 different categories.

The Clog placed third for “Best Breaking News Online,” under USC’s and Santa Clara University’s It must have been for our Craigslist sleuthing, no doubt about it. Let’s hear a nice, hearty golf clap. Good show, old chap.

So now you’re wondering how awesomely the rest of the Daily Cal scored. We’re glad you asked. Massive snaps to the following:

* No. 2, General Newspaper Excellence: Daily Cal
* No. 1, Best Special Section: Daily Cal
* No. 1, Best Headline Portfolio: Theresa Johnson (she totally waved to us today)
* No. 2, Best Headline Portfolio: Alia Salim
* No. 2, Best Illustration: Ian Cheng
* No. 1, Best Cartoon: Brad Aldridge
* No. 3, Best Cartoon, Deana Sobel
* No. 1, Best Sports-Page Design: Nancy Yao
* No. 1, Best News-Page Design: Joyce Lee
* Honorable Mention, Best Photo Illustration: Skyler Reid
* Honorable Mention, Best Features Photograph: Athena Azavedo
* No. 1, Best Sports Photograph: Linda Zhu
* No. 1, Best Arts & Entertainment Review: Stephanie Lee

And you thought we all sucked.

THe CCMA website says

Newspaper entries were judged by the Orange County Register, San Jose Mercury News, Fresno Bee and Sacramento Bee. Online entries were judged by the Los Angeles Newspaper Group, and magazine entries were judged by LA Weekly.

Supposedly the judges commented on many of the entries, but their comments aren’t up on the site yet.

USC and SDSU also snagged a bunch of honors, with USC boasting top spots in the sports categories.

But never you mind that.

Winners at California College Media Association [CCMA]

A fire has taken out part of the Bay Bridge entrance causing it to be closed. The Chron has some gnarly pictures of the bridge folded and tearing like a piece of paper.A tanker full of gasoline overturned and we presume exploded into the blaze:

bq. The tanker, which was full of vehicle-ready gasoline, seems to have disappeared. One Caltrans worker at the scene held up his thumb and forefinger an inch apart to describe how big the tanker is now.

The bridge is still open, though, if you’re going to the city. From the CoCo:

bq. Although the collapse has closed Interstate 580 approaching the Bay Bridge, motorists can continue to use Interstate 80 to get to and from San Francisco over the bridge.

Tanker fire destroys part of MacArthur Maze [SF Gate]
Roadway leading to Bay Bridge collapses after tanker explosion [The CoCo]
Section of Highway Collapses in Oakland Due to Overturn of Gas Tanker [Daily Cal]

Three rounds of the NFL Draft has come and gone. That’s 99 different college football players that have been chosen, including “compensatory picks” given at the end of round three.

And of those 99 college football players, three of them played in our backyard.

As mentioned earlier, Marshawn Lynch went to the Buffalo Bills with the 12th overall pick in this year’s draft.

Defensive tackle Brandon Mebane was drafted by Seattle with the 85th pick overall.

The third Cal player to be taken was Daymeion “I Can Intercept a Nuclear Missile”. Hughes. The Super Bowl champs, the Colts, nabbed Hughes with 95th overall pick in the draft.

These are all good fits for all three players. Lynch should be an automatic start with Buffalo. Mebane will get playing time in the attacking Seahawks defense. And Hughes, whose draft stock took a major hit after running a horrible 4.65 in the 40 in this year’s NFL combine, should be perfect for Tony Dungy’s cover 2 system.

An even more interesting note is who the Bills drafted in the third round to go along with Lynch. It was none other than often-injured Stanfurd quarterback Trent Edwards.

Now, we think Trent’s a good guy. But will Lynch and Edwards be able to put their differences aside?

Our answer: It should be simple, since Trent won’t see playing time and Marshawn will. It’s guaranteed.

Seahawks wait, choose small, fast CB/KR Josh Wilson and DT Brandon Mebane [CBC]
Colts grab corner in third round []
Earlier: “Lynch Going To Bring the Hyphy to Buffalo

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