Finals are over. We can finally have time to take a decent shower and proceed with our normal lives. Some, however, are still acting strangely. Maybe Bear Facts is lagging with grades. Maybe the transition to summer is jarring. Either way, we all need to take a chill pill—wait, is that legal?

Sunday, May 20, 2007
2:27 a.m., Memorial Stadium: Suspicious circumstance regarding owner given advice on controlling an animal.

At two in the morning, this could mean only one thing: werewolves. Arm yourselves with guns and silver bullets, folks.

Monday, May 21, 2007
10:19 p.m., O’Brien Hall: Three students—two males, 21 and 20, and one female, 21—detained for rules violation and scaling building exterior.

Hmm. Were they buildering? They couldn’t possibly be that excited over the recent relase of “Spider-Man 3.”

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
3:21 p.m., Memorial Stadium: A male employee, 73, reports amplified noise, including drums.

The drums again? Let’s hope it’s not some naked weirdo with bongos. We think that already happened.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007
2:45 a.m., Rock Wall: Marijuana activity in vehicle.
8:30 a.m., Shattuck/Channing: Marijuana activity.
12:56 p.m., People’s Park: Marijuana activity.
1:00 p.m., People’s Park: Marijuana activity.
3:35 p.m., The Grove: Marijuana activity

Yes, finals are finally over. We think we’ve … uh … we mean those guys (not us) have made that clear.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: While You Were Studying…

Stanford must have some really nice dorms.

Both The Chron and the Stanford Daily report that an 18-year-old female was living on the Stanford campus dorms for most of the school year. Except there are some teeny-weeny little issues—specifically her not actually paying rent or being a student.

Yes, you read that properly.

Azia Kim, a graduate of Troy High School in Fullerton, managed to pass herself off as a Stanford freshman and squat in the university dorms (well, it’s not that hard to strut around in Jimmy Choos on the Farm). The San Francisco Chronicle reports that she lived in two dorms over the past eight months before University staff finally caught on.

bq. “Shortly after student orientation last fall, Kim was able to convince students in Kimball Hall to let her share their room, and then to leave the window open — allowing her access even though she didn’t have a school-issued card key, students said.”

Honestly, we here at the Clog have gone to some pretty extreme ends to save money in the past (food is such a vanity item, anyway), but this beats us hands down. The Stanford Daily reports that the theft of services charges, paid at the unauthorized visitor charge of $175 per day, could be as high as $42,000 for Kim. While we can’t tell you whether or not we think that’d be a fair punishment (Kim could also be charged with trespassing), we can tell you that you can get a damn snazzy apartment for $5,000 a month. Probably one with a sauna. And a butler.

Kim apparently went so far as to buy books for classes she was claiming to be in and taking time to study for finals which she would never take. It’s kind of commendable—we have enough trouble doing those things for classes that we’re actually in.

Much of this occurrence is still a mystery. How Kim managed to avoid detection for such a long time (seriously, never using the door to your room? Always climbing through the window when you get home? Should’ve been a bit of a red flag that something was amiss) and why she went to such lengths to impersonate a (lowly) Stanford student are two of the major questions that have been asked in the wake of the discovery.

We’re mainly just asking why someone with that much ingenuity would choose Stanford over UC Berkeley. Oh well.

Impostor discovered at Stanford [SF Chronicle]
IMPOSTER CAUGHT [The Stanford Daily]

They’re about a year late, but it’s nice to know that our “friends” down in Palo Alto also share the same views we have about having sweatshop-free clothes.

The Mercury-News is reporting that 11 Stanfurd students have been arrested for storming the office of the president and staging a five-hour sit-in. While those students sat in the president’s office, a group of students—some naked—rallied outside of the building.

Sound familiar? That’s because it happened right here (pictured above), at UC Berkeley, last year. It’s just the Stanfurd kids are a bit late with their protests.

Last year, protests ravaged (kind of, not really) the Cal campus as nude protesters stood outside the chancellor’s office trying to get the university to be “sweatshop free.”

The Bwog, the blog of Columbia’s undergraduate newspaper, pokes fun at the timing of the Stanfurd protests. Their headline runs “Wait, Isn’t it the Left Coast?,” and they put themselves on a pedestal, espousing how Columbia has gone away from using sweatshops for their university apparel.

Whoop-dee-fucking-do. Our university, Cal, after the protests here, adopted those policies way before the Stanfurdites. When did Columbia adopt those policies?

Eleven students arrested at sit-in [Mercury-News]
Wait, isn’t this the Left Coast? [The Bwog]

A study shows that Berkeley residents have longer lives. We hope you like hippies. A lot.

The average life expectancy in Berkeley is 83, which surpasses the nation’s 78, Alameda County’s 79, San Francisco’s 80 and California’s 79. And these are the averages!

Damn. These people are old.

You want more statistics? Let’s talk numbers. Only about 10 percent of residents smoke—residents who are quite arguably all the student smokers (we’re looking at you, FSM hangers-on). Eight percent of adults have no health insurance. Berkeley is also somewhat “skinny” in that only 25 percent of its residents are overweight and obese. That’s less than the national average. We still think it’s kinda fat though.

Looking at race and health in Berkeley also shows some socioeconomic disparity. Berkeley has a lot of rich, educated white people, who tend to have better healthcare and “less stressful lives,” as the Chron puts it. Blacks have it harder, simply put.

bq. “Basically, white people in Berkeley are living longer than African American people,” Dill said. “It’s not any individual’s fault. It’s a combination of factors all playing out together.”

The Chron mentions factors like location of black neighborhoods, diminished presence of parks and grocery stores, and prevalence of crime.

At least Berkeley can boast the old people. We’re sure there’s plenty of talk about the war and how movies used to cost only a nickel and there was no such thing as this newfangled Internets.

We mean, Berkeley even has a 94-year-old aerobics instructor. Now that’s just silly. They should be leading the tantric sex seminar. Wait a minute—they probably are leading the tantric sex seminar.

Living in Berkeley means longer life, study finds [SF Chronicle]

Yesterday, the sports world saw one of the most boring and dumbest ideas in the history of sports take place: the NBA held its Draft Lottery yesterday, and yes, the Portland Trail Blazers are now on the clock.

Why does this matter? Because now all the major sports news sites are giving us their NBA mock drafts.

There was no doubt that a former Cal athlete was going to be a high-profile pick in the NFL draft last month, but to our surprise, a soon-to-be-maybe former Cal basketball player may also become a high-profile pick. Okay, maybe not too high-profile, but at least he may not waste away in the draft the way Leon Powe did last year.’s Chad Ford thinks that DeVon Hardin can get picked up in the first round. Really? Why is this so?

bq. The Pistons could really shore up their backcourt here with a young, athletic shooter who got limited opportunity at Ohio State this season. (Ohio State’s Daequan) Cook still needs to work on his handle and his defense, but he’d be an excellent fit coming off the bench in Detroit. A big man like DeVon Hardin is also a possibility here.

Really? DeVon Hardin goes to the Detroit Pistons with pick No. 27 in the first round? Though Ford doesn’t give a reason why he used Hardin’s name instead of so-and-so-big-basketball-player’s-name-here, we’ll offer our reasons.

Well, he does make sense, since he’d be replacing the void Ben Wallace created when he left for Chicago this season. Hardin can be the shot-blocking-menace-with-no-offensive-ability the Pistons desperately need. Wallace never scored points and Hardin won’t have to either. Plus, Hardin fits in with that bland Detroit Pistons style. Plus, Detroit’s a great town! Maybe.

However, doesn’t even mention Hardin’s name anywhere in their mock. also doesn’t name him —and they have a mock for both rounds of the draft.

Earlier: A Few More Reason Why Hardin Should Stay in School Chad Ford’s Mock Draft, Version 1.1: Picks 1-30 [ESPN Insider] (subscription needed)
Chad Ford’s Mock Draft, Version 1.1: Picks 1-30 [7 Online (via ESPN Insider)] (no subscription needed)

It’s been a long time coming.

After two commencement speakers bailed on our graduation here at Cal for the last two years (yeah, remember Fabian Nunez last year?), UC has finally reached an agreement with AFSCME (a labor union acronym with a really long name).

Custodians here at UC Berkeley will receive a $1.25 per hour pay hike retroactive from April 1 and will get an extra $0.50 an hour starting Oct. 1.

Supposedly, UC has been wanting to up the pay for its lower-paid workers for a really long time now. At least that’s what UC spokesperson Nicole Savickas said.

bq. We’ve been wanting to give raises to all our lower-paid employees. It’s been a long process and it was just recently that we were able to come to this compromise. It’s unfortunate that this had to disrupt the commencements.

Really? UC has “been wanting to give raises”? What was stopping UC from giving these workers this pay hike?

And Danny Glover did contact the union president. What did he say?

bq. He said, “Congratulations!”

Awesome. You did your part, Danny. So when are we going to get Lethal Weapon 5?

UC settles pay dispute with custodians [Mercury-News]

See those words over there to the left? The ones that spell out “About the Clog”?

Yeah, you should click them ’cause we just updated that sucker. Now you can finally know something more about us and the Clog than our lousy names. Psh, Christine Borden. More like Christine Boredom! Haha, that’s a good one, huh?

You could also be really lazy and read about us by clicking here.

Or here.

Better yet, try here. Third time’s a charm, right?

On Tuesday, the Clog talked up the world’s most famous giant, gay, British, ex-NBA basketball player. Here’s our interview with one John Amaechi.

Clog: What do you think the biggest myth we fans buy into about the NBA?

JA: Uh, that they do it for nothing.

Clog: Do the players care?

JA: Deeply yes. A vast majority is highly professional in some of the ways the other leagues are not. That’s not–it’s not fairy tale land. It’s not this place where people are so in love with sports that they care about nothing else.

Clog: At our school, you spoke of the business culture of the sport. About how fans want to believe that players are caught up in winning, when the players have been conditioned to care about making money. Does any particular example of this sterile business culture stick in your mind?

JA: Is there nobody who watches basketball games and realizes it’s a corporate sport? It’s full of corporate sponsors. Executives sit in the front row.

Clog: You spoke of certain players dumbing themselves down, specifically mentioning Mark Jackson. Why do you think they do it, and are there any other guys like that whom you could name?

JA: There are lots of guys who are much sharper than they come across. I don’t know about naming them. Why do they do it? There’s a prerogative for people to just fit in, and being that person who writes poetry or goes to the theatre or studies, the person who’s smarter, it doesn’t do him any favors to stick out like that. People want to be outstanding for their athletics alone.

Clog: Now, we at the Clog sort of feel that David Stern is out of touch with basketball fans currently. Perhaps this is because a fear of black hip-hop culture has clouded his recent judgment. What is your assessment of the commissioner and the job he does with promoting a largely black league to a largely white audience?

JA: I think that he does a very good job. He’s taking basketball from the brink of collapse to being unbelievably popular. And yes, he’s selling black athletes to white consumers. I don’t think he has tremendous fear, but he worries about the corporate image of the sport. You can’t scare off the sponsors.

Clog: Any other thoughts on the commish?

JA: I’ve always had a good relationship with him, not equipped to know about his business acumen. My absence from any official NBA stream of info was kind of odd.

Clog: You played with Tmac (Tracy McGrady) for a year. Bluntly put, is he as self-absorbed as he seems? Any stories?

JA: One of the hallmarks of being superior in every way is that you are more focused inwardly than others. It seems to be one of things that comes with the territory

Clog: We were also wondering what John Stockton was like?

JA: John Stockton, like, I don’t really have any nuggets. He was just a consummate professional, and I don’t know. He had a family or was interested; he wasn’t involved in the trappings of the NBA.

Clog: And as long as we’re mining for a little NBA dirt, there’s a famed NBA groupie culture obviously. How exactly does it function? And do most players, um, how will we say this, engage in it?

JA: Wholeheartedly it exists. No, it’s not a question of not engaging or engaging. It’s just constantly around. There are people who hang on in different careers, and basketball has its very share. I’ve heard more stories than I’ve seen.

Clog: We can’t let you go without at least one question about the issue everyone asks you about. Well, it’s tangentially related. It seems that people in our culture can often get caught up in battling what they perceive as hatred or bigotry in arts or entertainment. But often, misogynistic and homophobic frat-guy focused commercials get a free pass. What’s up with that? Any thoughts?

JA: Um, I do think that there is a feeling that some people mistakenly think political correctness has run rampant, and now people can express more freely. And there is freedom of speech but you have to accept the consequences. And certainly commercial people are trying to be clever and cute and get a rise. And certainly commercials have drawn that kind of attention.

Clog: Why do you think quasi-gay cultures like sports and frats so often have homophobic elements? Any theories?

JA: I don’t think they are. I think it’s a great excuse for society that they can complain that sports are really the homophobic bits and not everything else. Sports are a reflection of society. It’s condensed into a smaller space. Society isn’t blameless when they see ugliness in their sports.

Interview Recap:

Obviously, we wanted cool NBA insider info from the Amaechster (damn, why does this compelling character not have a sick nickname?). We were tired of the cliché questions regarding Tim Hardaway and what not. We just wanted juicy NBA dirt. Actually, juicy dirt sounds really fucking unappealing.

Anyway, at his talk on campus in April, Amaechi was affable and candid. In this interview, he seemed somewhat cranky and very much guarded. Perhaps our crappy, rambling questions were to blame. Or maybe the grind of a book tour has worn down the formerly loquacious master of the baby hook.

No, it was definitely our crappy questions (none of which pertained to his book, by the way). And it may have been foolish of us to secretly hope for Amaechi to say something crazy like, “By the way, Yao Ming is actually in the closet.”

With the talk of the imminent razing of Warren Hall we figured we should take a look at some of the other perpetual construction on campus. If you’ve been completely ignoring anything north of the Doe Library for the past few weeks (we’re looking at you, Unit-2 denizens) you may not have noticed the removal of some of the scaffolding around the Chang-Lin Tien Center for East Asian Studies.

Now, we here at the Clog know that you hate to make any decision without having our entirely objective, concrete research to back up your opinion, so here you go. Our long nights of deep contemplation (see: drinking) and consultations with head architects (see: our drunk roommates) have given us the perfect tool to help you decide how you should feel about the aesthetic qualities of the Chang-Lin Tien center: the inestimable subjective rating system.

The obvious stand-out of the building is the metal grate that dominates much of the southern wall. It’s bright, it’s oddly patterned, it puts off a hell of a glare any time between 10 and 6 and it’s more than a little gaudy. Now don’t get us wrong, we love shiny things as much as the next guy, but this just seems to be overdoing it slightly.

Aesthetic quality of the Chang-Lin Tien Center: 3 out of 10.
Aesthetic quality of the Chang-Lin Tien Center (without the grating): 4 out of 10.

For comparison, it’s not as frustratingly confusing as the Hargrove Music Library. Seriously, it has fish scales. Why does it have fish scales? No one knows. But it does. And they’re ugly.

Aesthetic quality of the Hargrove Music Library: 2 out of 10.

Of course, we don’t think leaving a building to sit like a behemoth, nondescript but for its ominous size, is that good a move either. Just take Evans Hall, a building which can seemingly block out the sun from anywhere on campus.

Aesthetic quality of Evans Hall: 3 out of 10.

And to top it off, we’ll invoke the most notorious site on campus. No, we’re not talking about the UCPD station in Sproul Hall, we’re talking about the atrocious eyesore that is Wurster Hall. Now, we’ve all heard how it’s an extremely efficient building, but let’s face it–it’s horrendous. It’s ugly. It may have made one student gouge out his own eyes (at least that’s what some homeless guy said). We’d post a picture, but it would just feel too cruel.

Aesthetic quality of Wurster Hall: -4 out of 10.

Just when you thought that all the Housing Authority did was raise your rent every now and then, guess what reared its ugly head. Scandals!

The Oakland Tribune is reporting that the Berkeley Housing Authority misused federal funds and that two city reports are asking the Berkeley City Council to fire the Housing Authority’s staff of 22.

The reports–one of them made by Manuela Albuquerque, the city attorney–state that the Housing authority gave federal subsidies to landlords who had at least 15 deceased tenants. Added to that, subsidies were given out to residents who did not qualify for them.

Albuquerque said that the Department of Housing and Urban Development has been notified.

This is a huge snafu for the city council, who is the governing body of the Housing Authority. Even though they were not directly involved with the matter of who got subsidies and whatnot, the council still feels that they were somewhat responsible. Cue councilmember Gordon Wozniak, who agrees with us:

bq. We have egg on our face. This looks very bad on the city. We’ve always been told (by the staff) that HUD is the bad guys, that their reporting requirements were onerous. But I do take some responsibility.

bq. We had these audits and we never dug in enough. We should have asked some tough questions. I think this will be a shock to the council because this is the first we’ve heard there’s a problem.

HUD? The bad guys? Usually people don’t like the big federal government meddling with a little city’s plans, but it looks like if the council had just listened to HUD, this may have been prevented. HUD is now asking the city council to give governance of the Housing Authority to an independent commission.

Maybe the council should cede governance and just stick to trying to impeach President Bush.

Berkeley Housing Authority paid rent for at least 15 dead tenants [Oakland Tribune]

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