Y’know, there are just some days when you pick up the paper, scan the front page and say to yourself, “Damn, it feels good to be an ordinary citizen, generally unworthy of quotation.” Because then you could be stuck forever with a gem like this credited to your name:

“Through these and subsequent meetings (I) will develop a plan for how I might be useful,” he [Boalt Hall Dean Christopher Edley] said in a statement. “It depends on what people believe they need in light of what’s already been agreed, and we’ll take it from there.”

Ah yes, we’re familiar with the subsequent meetings that will come after the previous meetings, where some people will talk about the thing in the thing and some stuff with regards to that other thing. It’s not like we think Dean Edley has anything but the best of intentions in taking on an inevitably controversial job like this, but, uh, that quote is like a Mad Lib. Maybe there is a secret plan to vague statement us all into racial harmony. In which case, well-played, sir.

Next up, we’ve got a right beaut from none other than John Moghtader himself, on tense relations between longtime rivals, Students for Justice in Palestine and Tikvah:

“The record of each group speaks for itself,” Moghtader said.

But what do they say?! Don’t leave us hanging, here! Actually, now that we think about it, he’s right. We guess the sheer absurdity of this story does kind of stand on its own.

Image Source: Private Custard under Creative Commons, modified by Evante Garza-Licudine
Boalt Hall Dean Set to Advise UC Officials on Racial Issues [Daily Cal]
Tensions Highlighted by Student’s Arrest [Daily Cal]

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