Stanfurd is the number one most stressful college in the United States. Period.

At least, that’s what “The Daily Beast” said. They ranked the 50 most stressful colleges in America and came up with the top 5 of Stanford, Columbia, MIT, University of Pennsylvania, and Harvard. Berkeley placed a measly 22nd. We don’t really know whether to be pleased or angry about this, especially since it seems just a tad untrue. We’ll settle for incredulous indignation. Here goes.

What are you talking about, Daily Beast? Where are you getting your information? Well, we’ll give them some props–they at least divided the ranking into five categories: cost, competitiveness, acceptance rate, engineering, and crime. Stats were not given by student interviews (who has the time for that?) but through data from U.S. News and World Report.

So here we go, making a plea for Berkeley. First, the cost: yeah, it may not be Stanford I’ll-need-to-sell-my-mother’s-pearls-to-pay-for-next-semester status, but as you may have heard, it’s getting more expensive. Competitiveness? One need only listen to the horror stories of cutthroat Chem 1A students to understand just how competitive this school is. Our acceptance rate is less than that of Carnegie-Mellon, which placed eighth.

Engineering is so obviously a big deal at Berkeley that we won’t even address that field, except to question why that was a category in the first place. Are engineers some kind of catalyst for mass stress and hysteria? We’ve never seen anyone tremble at an EECS major. And crime? There are so many things to link to, we don’t even know where to begin.

All in all, though, we suppose this means we’re better adjusted than those wet blanket Cardinals over at Stanford. What counts as stress on that campus? A disappointing haircut? Maybe those prissy kids should just take a leaf out of Berkeley’s book and learn how to chillax (and yes, we said all that quite calmly, thank you).

Although, like we said, the Daily Beast-ers seem to be a little arbitrary in their judgment. So maybe we should all just follow UC Santa Cruz’s example. Those darn banana slugs didn’t even make the cut. They were too busy mellowing.

Image source: anna gutermuth under Creative Commons
Stanford stress ranked #1 by those who don’t know [San Jose Mercury News]
The 50 Most Stressful Colleges [The Daily Beast]

Matthew C. Kriner said:
Mar 1, 2011 at 2:10 am

Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

Mateusz Czerwinski said:
Mar 23, 2012 at 12:55 am