Scantron testAfter discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

There’s a lot of crazy in the world: Snuggies, for one, or “Schweddy Balls”-flavored ice cream, for another. But when we read that a UC Berkeley study found that thousands of the four-and five-year old children who take California’s official test for English language proficiency (an ordeal that can last up to two hours) prior to starting kindergarten are likely to fail said test, our immediate reaction could be aptly characterized with a simple “no, duh.”

First of all, most kids that young haven’t even learned to read yet — that usually goes hand in hand with some schooling — and second of all, a two-hour test? College students can barely get through a two-hour test without complaining about being overworked, why on Earth would anyone think that pre-kindergarten kids could get through 120 minutes of anything without shedding a few tears?

Sure, the study itself reveals some disappointing statistics (only 12 percent of the test-takers are considered to be proficient in English), but maybe the numbers would go up if the exam wasn’t taken by kids who still wet the bed at night. Or, at the very least, if someone shortened the test.

Image Source: COCOEN daily photos under Creative Commons
Researchers give low marks to California’s English proficiency test for kindergarteners [UC Berkeley NewsCenter]
Earlier: Actually, Make That ‘Signs’

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