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An open letter to Mr. Earthquake

Posted By Lynn Yu On Oct 27, 2011 @ 12:35 pm In Sandbox | Comments Disabled

Living dangerouslyDear Mr. Earthquake,

The Daily Clog here.

Oh, dear childhood companion, what’s become of you? For the past 20 years, we’ve embraced you, accepted you after your tantrums, even been a little bit proud of you (after all, how many people can say that they’ve survived six earthquakes at the age of four?)

But your recent behavior has us a little concerned. Just last week, you began another one of your fits [1] — well, it’s more like eight [2] now, to be exact.

Mr. Earthquake, is it attention you want? Because right now, you’ve got command of center stage — everyone’s been talking about you, Tweeting about you, Facebook-ing about you. You’ve got the out-of-state and international students scared out of their minds and you’ve even forced the campus to reevaluate the seismic capability of our buildings (thanks for all the free stuff [3] though).

What exactly is it that’s not pleasing you? Just this morning, you unleashed yet another one [4]. What are we doing wrong here? Are the Berkeley hippies not making enough sacrifices to the Earthquake god? Is the Cal football team [5] not winning enough? Do you want even more Nobel prizes [6] out of us?

Our campus respects your home Mr. Earthquake — we’re environmentally friendly, vegan [7], Earth-loving kids. We’ve tried to adapt to your irritability!

Perhaps we misunderstand you, Mr. Earthquake. We know that many people fear you — specifically the 6.7 magnitude version of you — and that folks find your flare-ups to be downright worrisome.

But are you trying to tell us something here? Is this simply your way of signaling the end of the world [8] to us? If that’s the case, worry not, good sir. We have plenty of help [9] on that front; consider your job done.

And with that said, we ask, politely and sincerely, with the upmost respect in our hearts, that you stop this nonsense.

Thank you for listening, Mr. Earthquake.

The Daily Clog

Image source: TomD. [10] under Creative Commons

Article printed from The Daily Clog: http://clog.dailycal.org

URL to article: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/10/27/an-open-letter-to-mr-earthquake/

URLs in this post:

[1] one of your fits: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/10/20/earthquake-on-earthquake-drill-day/#more-32586

[2] eight: http://www.dailycal.org/2011/10/23/eight-earthquakes-hit-berkeley-over-past-several-days/

[3] free stuff: http://www.dailycal.org/2011/10/19/desks-office-supplies-up-for-grabs-in-uc-berkeleys-campbell-hall/

[4] another one: http://www.dailycal.org/2011/10/27/magnitude-3-6-earthquake-shakes-berkeley-thursday-morning/

[5] Cal football team: http://www.dailycal.org/2011/10/25/pac-12-power-rankings-week-8/

[6] Nobel prizes: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/10/04/rackin-up-the-nobels/#more-31564

[7] vegan: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/10/23/arise-vegans-of-berkeley-—-this-is-time-for-war/#more-32659

[8] end of the world: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/10/24/so-what-did-you-do-post-rapture/#more-32698

[9] plenty of help: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/07/18/we-spy-the-triumphant-return-of-yoshua/

[10] TomD.: http://www.flickr.com/photos/shootina710is/453085325/

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