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How we ruined Tiger Woods’ life

Posted By Nammi Nadella On Nov 17, 2011 @ 5:46 pm In Sandbox | Comments Disabled

Go BearsIn all this Occupy chaos, we hope you haven’t forgotten what really matters — it’s Big Game week! What better way is there to shamelessly encourage school spirit than … a comedy show? At first, a comedy show doesn’t seem to be so “pep n’ go” but it’s actually a great excuse to take stabs at our beloved transbay trees  (no, your mascot is not a cardinal, it’s a damn tree … kind of [1]). And so, the Clog took some time to attend Laugh Your Axe Off [2].

The California Golden Overtones and UC Men’s Octet [3] both made appearances, but it probably wasn’t what you’re used to hearing from them. The Men’s Octet sang a song called, “Stanford Girls,” to the tune of Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girls,” but inserted lines like, ” Stanford girls look just like Berkeley squirrels,” “God, she smells like sh**” and  … “whores.” Yet, they somehow sounded classy the entire time.

Cal student Stuart Thompson came out at the beginning of the show as, “openly white,” and proceeded to comment on his, “condition of Caucasia,” including the difficulties of ordering crepes and massages. However, he seemed to forget the purpose of his performance as he failed to make a single Stanfurd [4] reference.

A past alumnus by the name of Matthew also performed, narrating how the crowd booed Tiger Woods [5] at the 2009 Cal-Stanford game; days later, the golfer’s life fell apart. The alum credits our Berkeley booing for ruining Tiger Woods’ life and poses the question: Which Stanford heavyweight will we take down this year, California? He nominated Condoleezza Rice [6], but then said, “she already served under the Bush Administration.”

Image source: ben.chaney [7] under Creative Commons

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URL to article: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/11/17/how-we-ruined-tiger-woods-life/

URLs in this post:

[1] it’s a damn tree … kind of: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/11/16/yet-another-reason-why-cal-trumps-stanford/

[2] Laugh Your Axe Off: http://ucrc.berkeley.edu/biggameweek.html

[3] The California Golden Overtones and UC Men’s Octet: http://clog.dailycal.org/2011/11/08/a-cappella-proves-once-again-music-soothes-the-soul/

[4] Stanfurd: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Stanfurd

[5] Tiger Woods: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2034034/Tiger-Woods-sex-scandal-claims-victim--TREE-crashed-axed.html

[6] Condoleezza Rice: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condoleezza_Rice

[7] ben.chaney: http://www.flickr.com/photos/epioles/2957845224/sizes/m/in/photostream/

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